Alyson Stoner book reveals stalkers, rehab, dark side of child fame
Jennette McCurdy's memoir "I'm Glad My Mom Died." Demi Lovato's documentary "Child Star." The Nickelodeon docuseries exposé "Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV."
Child stars are speaking out about the not-so-glamorous and sometimes abusive conditions they faced under the spotlight, and Disney alum Alyson Stoner is the latest to share their story.
Stoner, who broke into the public eye dancing in Missy Elliott's 2002 music video "Work It," is known for roles in "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Camp Rock," "Step Up" and "Phineas and Ferb." In recent years, they've been open about their "harrowing" experiences of child stardom, including an eating disorder that sent them to rehab.
In their memoir "Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything" (out now from St. Martin's Press), Stoner, who uses they/them pronouns, doesn't shy from sharing the dark side of fame, including public scrutiny that led to body dysmorphia and self-esteem issues, unsafe and inappropriate working conditions, financial loss and stalkers.
Amid 'fractured home' life, 'Cheaper by the Dozen' was an escape
Stoner's career took off at age 6 after competing at the International Modeling and Talent Association convention. They booked their first feature film appearance at 9, playing Steve Martin and Bonnie Hunt’s tomboy daughter Sarah in "Cheaper by the Dozen."
Stoner's accolades may have been skyrocketing, but behind the scenes they say they struggled with a tumultuous home life, including an abusive stepfather, alcoholic mother and growing distance from their father. Stoner writes that on set as part of the fictional Baker family, they felt like they finally "belonged," and leaving was "excruciating pain." Hunt, who played the Baker matriarch, was a particular influence on Stoner.
"A former nurse in real life, Bonnie emotionally attuned herself to every one of the Baker dozen as if she'd carried us in her own womb," Stoner writes. "Her unconditional care translated through the screen."
Stalkers, kidnapping plots and exploitation
As their fame grew, so did safety concerns. Strangers tracked their location and left candy and letters outside their hotel room. In one instance, a supposed terminally ill "Camp Rock" fan requested to meet Stoner as an end-of-life wish, but it ended up being a scam to get Stoner alone "to be held hostage for ransom," they write. The meeting never happened, thanks to Stoner's mom uncovering the person's sham website.
Stoner also had a middle-aged stalker who was convinced Stoner "was his wife, named Cinderella, with whom he shared pet mice," they write. He showed up a youth arts studio where Stoner volunteered. Stoner didn't want to scare the children they were teaching, so they slipped out of class and alerted the front desk, just narrowly coming into contact with the stalker before he was kicked out. When he returned for a second time that day, a parent helped Stoner drive around until they were sure he was gone. Stoner said police said they couldn’t do anything if the stalker hadn’t physically harmed Stoner, even though the stalker said he would "end" Stoner if they didn't wear their hair a certain way.
"Without a budget for a bodyguard, I became an expert at studying body language and herd behavior, noting traits and tendencies among people so I could anticipate interactions," they write.
When they were a young teen, Stoner came across their face edited onto a naked body on a porn site, a crude example of today's "deepfake nudes" affecting many celebrities and, especially, young women.
Alyson Stoner nearly had their own 'Hannah Montana'
After "Cheaper By the Dozen," Stoner writes they felt typecast as either a dancer or tomboy. They were waiting for their breakthrough lead role.
Disney reps contacted Stoner and asked them to guest-star on "That's So Raven" as Ally Parker, a child actor and dancer who longed to be a regular kid. The plan was to have Stoner helm a spin-off series, turning Ally Parker into a new leading character. But then networks greenlit "Hannah Montana" instead, the hit show starring Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus that had essentially the same plot. Ally Parker was reduced to a single "That's So Raven" episode.
Shortly after, Stoner felt duped again after a producer pitched a musical summer camp Disney original film with Stoner as the lead. They never heard back. A few months later, Stoner found an audition for an untitled Disney Channel Original Movie with the same plot.
"Was I just used by a producer to sell his project? Or did he actually believe in me, but Disney doesn't? Are any of my ideas in this script?" Stoner recalls thinking, they write in "Semi-Well-Adjusted."
That project was "Camp Rock." Stoner was brought in to audition for the lead, but it ultimately the role of Mitchie went to Demi Lovato, skyrocketing a different Disney actor to mainstream fame.
'Hunger Games' audition led Stoner to harmful 'medical weight loss camp'
In the throes of their eating disorder, Stoner’s preparation to audition for "The Hunger Games" pushed them to the brink. Their eating disorder was leading to constipation, cramps and a thin layer of hair called "lanugo" growing, which the body uses as a survival mechanism during starvation.
Aiming for the role of Katniss Everdeen, Stoner enrolled in a "world-renowned medical weight loss camp," where they trained for seven hours a day for two weeks on a calorie deficit.
"Doctors and trainers should’ve never permitted an underweight minor to do seven hours of fourteen-mile hikes, heavy lifting, and high-intensity cardio. But all I had to say was that I was training for an acting role. They assessed me as mentally stable and opened the door," Stoner writes.
Stoner was rationing food, compulsively exercising and then binging, which led to a spiral of shame. When they had sought help in the past for eating disorder recovery, their mom said "Alyson, you're not that anorexic," Stoner writes. After "The Hunger Games" training, Stoner went around their mom to a member of their church to get resources and checked into a inpatient facility.
The night before they left, Stoner recalls fellow Disney alum Debby Ryan surprising them in the middle of the night with flowers made out of pipe cleaner and encouraging posters: "You can do this."
Stoner nearly died by suicide after coming out to church peers
The same church members who helped Stoner get help with rehab were the most discriminatory when Stoner revealed they had feelings for a woman. After Stoner tried to come out to their Christian peers, they organized an "exorcism" for Stoner. Then they stopped talking to Stoner.
Stoner's mother, who wasn’t a part of the church like they were, also wasn’t accepting. Neither was their music manager. They warned coming out could ruin their career.
Stoner contemplated suicide, writing "it felt like my sexual attractions were ruining my connection to my friends and family, my career opportunities, and worst, all of my Christian community said that it went against God."
Eventually, Stoner embarked on a deconstruction journey, surrounding themselves with friends of different belief systems and reexamining their preconceived notions around gender and purity culture. Stoner is now openly queer and nonbinary, and has been candid in recent years about losing out on roles because of their sexuality. In 2021, they released "Mind Body Pride," a guide book to support the mental and emotional health of the LGBTQ+ community.
This article discusses suicide and suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
If you or someone you know is struggling with body image or eating concerns, you can call The National Alliance for Eating Disorders' clinician-run helpline from 9 a.m. until 7 p.m. EST at (866) 662-1235. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, please text “ALLIANCE” to 741741 for free, 24/7 support.
Clare Mulroy is Paste BN’s Books Reporter, where she covers buzzy releases, chats with authors and dives into the culture of reading. Find her on Instagram, subscribe to our weekly Books newsletter or tell her what you’re reading at cmulroy@usatoday.com.