'House of the Dragon' recap: Crab feeders, child brides and dragon eggs
Spoiler alert! The following contains details from “House of the Dragon” Season 1, Episode 2, "The Rogue Prince." Read our recap of Episode 1 here.
Two episodes into HBO's "House of the Dragon," how are things faring for our Targaryen friends? Well, they're fine, but the cracks are starting to show in the (ahem) house of the dragon.
The second episode of the "Game of Thrones" spinoff, titled "The Rogue Prince," spends a great deal of time table-setting even after the first episode put all the cutlery out. While we've met the major players and mostly seen where their loyalties lie, it still feels like "Dragon" is a half-formed show. The stakes haven't been truly established, the world isn't fully built and not a single character is sympathetic, relatable or even very interesting.
Fictional characters need not be paragons of virtue to win an emotional response from the audience (see how attached many fans were to Tony Soprano), but they need to be fully formed humans. Everyone on "Dragon" is kept at a distance, deliberate ciphers rather than people we can love, hate or both. A great show needs those magnetic characters, and "Dragon" isn't anywhere close yet.
Episode 1 recap: Sex, death, fire and blood are back
Who is this Crab Feeder guy?
Six months after the first episode ("Dragon" is moving very fast or achingly slowly, depending on how much backstory you like in your fantasy shows), all is not well in King's Landing since Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) was named heir to the Iron Throne.
A pirate so cleverly called the "Crab Feeder" has been attacking Westerosi ships (and gave us a scene possibly more disgusting than the tourney death in Episode 1), and Lord Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint) is rather peeved about the whole situation.
Still, King Viserys (Paddy Considine) and his Hand, Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans), are unconcerned. Rhaenyra is still serving wine at the small council meetings, and naïvely suggests she and some other dragon riders go sort out this whole piracy situation. Instead of, say, teaching diplomacy to the daughter he says he wants to rule their country one day, Viserys simply sends her away to choose a new Kingsguard knight and get her out of his silver hair. Embarrassed and miffed, Rhaenyra chooses hunky Dornish knight Ser Criston Cole (Fabien Frankel) as the new white cloak, even if it's not the most politically savvy move.
Rhaenyra and Viserys are not on good terms, but Alicent Hightower (Emily Carey) is working both sides, trying to get them back together. Teenaged Alicent is still hanging out with the king, as her father demands, with absolutely no repugnant ulterior motive, right? Surely not.
But which child bride should King Viserys take?
Otto isn't the only one hoping Viserys takes a child bride for their own political gain. Corlys and wife Rhaenys (Eve Best) suggest Viserys marry their 12-year-old daughter Laena (Nova Foueillis-Mose). The horrifying reality of this proposal is brought into stark relief when Viserys and Laena go for a walk together, and the tiny child recites a missive from her father about "bedding" and bearing children.
They're watched by Rhaenyra and Rhaenys, the two women closest to the Iron Throne. When Rhaenyra asks her cousin if she's bothered by offering up her child for marriage to an old man, Rhaenys says yes, of course she's bothered, but she understands the way of the world. She thinks Rhaenyra doesn't understand Westeros. The passed-over-princess informs Rhaenyra that Viserys will marry and father more heirs, no matter what. "Men would rather put the realm to the torch than see a woman ascend the Iron Throne," she says, which may as well be the thesis statement for the series.
Dragonstone Z
Meanwhile, Daemon (Matt Smith) is stirring up trouble just for the hell of it. He somehow snuck back to King's Landing from Dragonstone, where he's been squatting for six months, to steal a dragon egg. This isn't just a cute scaly petnapping, but rather the theft of a weapon of mass destruction, and Otto assembles a battalion of soldiers to get the egg back.
After a standoff on the world's smallest bridge (I really don't understand what kind of tactical advantage Otto thinks he has approaching Dragonstone this way), Rhaenyra shows up on her dragon and calls her uncle's bluff. He unhappily hands over the egg and returns to pout in the palace with the former prostitute Mysaria, who he also lied about marrying and impregnating.
For the big showdown of the episode, it was rather dull, in spite of the impressive dragon visual effects. Perhaps because the whole conflict was over Daemon having a temper tantrum, it simply felt like a non-event rather than the brink of war it was clearly meant to seem.
Descend into madness: How 'House of the Dragon' tracks the Targaryen's dragon-taming empire
The King does what he wants (even if he's an idiot)
In the end, Viserys does the stupid thing, and announces he will marry Alicent (who is seemingly around Rhaenyra's age, about 15), presumably because she is young and nice and got some servants to fix his toy dragon.
Otto is triumphant, Corlys is livid and Rhaenyra feels betrayed. There are immediate political consequences when Corlys goes to Daemon for help in waging war to take the Stepstones back from the Crab Feeder.
That will go over well, right?
Review: Sorry, but HBO's 'House of the Dragon' can't touch 'Game of Thrones' greatness