'So You Think You Can Dance' recap by Donna Kauffman

Hello, fellow armchair dance judges! We're back! We're down to 18 possible favorite dancers, and the numbers, they are going to dwindle by two this evening. But more important, who is guest judging? I mean, yes, we all know fab ballerina Misty Copeland had so much super constructive criticism to give all of our dancers last week. (Allll of them. So, so much constructiveness going on. All night long. Every. Single. Dance.) And that was great. For the dancers. But, let's be real. This is, truly, all about us. The armchair dance judges. Am I right? After all, we're the ones showing up for this shindig, keeping the sponsors spending money on ads. And we don't need no stinking constructive dance criticism. We need to be entertained. So what I need? I need me some Christina Applegate. Or some Jesse Tyler Ferguson. Or some happening Anna Kendrick. That's what I need, Show. Bring me some dance, make me laugh, and let's have a good time!

But, first, we get our opening number… Please, please let it be filled with awesome.

It's a hip-hop piece that tricks you into thinking it's going to be a contemporary routine, set on a New Age chess board, with half our dancers in Tim Burton Wonderland white, the other half in Matrix black. Then the music starts and oh. Hunh. Krump. The boys get front-and-center stage early on (shocking, I know), but things do even out as the performance progresses. I'm not sure the girls should be happy about that, however. Given the fact that our Top 18 is largely made up of not street dancers, it is interesting to see how the group in general handles this angry stomping about that is supposed to resemble dance only ... not so much the way they do it. Some handle it more successfully than others. And by successful I mean not embarrassing themselves by looking like they're just flailing about in a really intense and angry way. A very few (cough, Teddy, Emilio) handle it in a way that makes it look like dance vs., well, see: stomping. Also: flailing about. Leaving the costumes to pretty much carry the performance. Mostly it makes me wish that Ja Ja was still around.

We move quickly on to meeting our young couples. The first handful look as if perhaps they were rushed out before they were ready for their 2.3 seconds of show-us-your-please-vote-for-us-look-how-cute-we-are dance moves, as they appeared awkwardly staged at best. But the latter half have more time to get their act together and actually look like they thought out those micro-seconds-of-dance ahead of time. Our last intro is to our newly formed couple, post last week's elimination, Jessica & Stanley. Meet the new power couple. I hope they live up to our expectations. Wonder where they will show up in rotation this evening …

Oh, so this is interesting. The lovely and adorable Catniss Deeley comes out and informs us that our opening dance number? Was choreographed by two members of the crew Academy of Villains. Hmm. That name sound vaguely familiar to you? Well, I can't blame you for not immediately knowing who they are, but the reason they sound familiar, in that oh so vague, maybe we saw them for, like, five seconds kind of way, is that they are one of the finalist dance crews this season. You remember the dance crew competition? OK, so mostly we'd like to forget it, I can't blame you. But it seems a little … playing favorites-y to me, does it not? To give them that kind of pimp spot? Wonder if the other crews will be that lucky …

Ah, well, we care not at all, not really. So we're all humming along now, there has been dance, lots of Mickey Mouse Club-worthy welcoming smiles from our dancers, and … yeah. Suck up that feel-good moment because we're about to meet our judges, then segue immediately into the Who Didn't Pull Down the Votes Last Week mood killer. Which is putting additional pressure on the whole guest judge slot, if you ask me. Make me happy, Show.

The camera pans over to the judges panel as I wait with bated breath and … three things jump out at me. One, Nigel is sitting in the middle this week. For the first time ever, I think. Two, Mary Murphy has decided to channel the spirit of Zsa Zsa Gabor with her wig-slash-hairstyle of crazy. (Google: Gabor sisters, then hit images). And, three, our guest judge is … Misty Copeland. Again. Expletive deleted.

No words, Show. No words.

Misty, however, will have many of them. Oh, so many, many of them. Sigh.

So, let's continue the slide from joy, shall we? Who are our Bottom Six?

Bottom Three Guys: Emilio, Stanley, Teddy

Bottom Three Girls: Bridget, Emily, Jourdan

What do you think? Surprised? Nodding your head? Shaking it in disbelief? I'd ask who you think will go home from this bunch, but we know now that if we just listen to how Nigel judges them this evening, we'll figure it out for ourselves. The only repeat offender here is Jourdan, and I've never connected with her, so I feel that given America continues to agree with me on that, perhaps her time is done? That would be my choice. However, Bridget hasn't done herself any favors, either, so that wouldn't be unwelcome. And while I like Emily, she apparently hasn't managed to distinguish herself with the voters. Of the three, she'd be my first pick to keep, but I don't think any of those three will make it to the Top 10 this season, so the order in which they leave will not likely matter overmuch.

As for the guys, I wonder if Stanley is in the bottom given that he was so harshly judged along with the doomed Malene last week? Perhaps his performance with Jessica this week will give him a proper boost. Regardless, I can't see him truly being in danger. Not yet. Otherwise, we have our two street guys in the bottom. I feel one of them is in danger, and his name is not Emilio.

So, I guess I've made my choices. Who are your picks? Remember, fellow armchair judges, no changesies!

Our little "intro teaser" to each performance this week is "what is the most surprising thing you've learned about your partner?" And my first thought, was, um … everything? They've worked together two weeks now. And one pair for only this past week. I can't help but wonder if because we had that first week change-up with partners being paired up with someone in their dance discipline, which meant last week was our first time to meet our real pairs, if we're just feeling jerked around and disconnected from all of the dancers to some degree. I think I am. Another reason to let us bond with these guys sooner, Show.

Zach & Jacque/Hip-hop. OK, so the show finally throws me a bone and gives me possibly my favorite all-time choreographers, Keone and Mariel Madrid. (If you Google anyone, search them and watch their videos. Also? Cutest married couple ever. Their wedding reception flash mob is made of awesome.) Let's see how our tapper and ballerina handle hip-hop. We get Sam Smith's Stay With Me, so the perfect emotional backdrop to a Madrid-inspired piece. It's a beautiful routine filled with all the classic Madrid quirk. I know these two don't hit their movements hard or sharp, and there is no telling how much stronger this piece would be if it were being danced by someone with some hip-hop background. That said, the music and their willingness to throw themselves at this full tilt brings its own kind of emotional fulfillment to the routine and, in the end, makes it successful despite not being the best. I worry that going first with this might hurt them in the Will It Be Memorable Enough column, but only time will tell. Judges: You know, unless they have something surprising or controversial to say? I think we'll just armchair it tonight. Whaddya say? Misty can run her dance clinic for another week and I hope the dancers all benefit from it, but I don't have to attend. I just want to watch and enjoy. Your mileage may vary.

Marcquet & Jourdan/Contemporary. I am a fan of Marcquet, and hope they get handed a routine that better shows off his skill set than their number did last week. Perhaps I'm not alone in that, given that Jourdan had the juicier role by far in that routine, and yet she is the one in the bottom this week. They get a Dee Caspary routine. I hope this bodes well for them. I don't think there is any natural chemistry there, but I get the feeling Jourdan makes that kind of hard. I'm all about Girl Power, and I admire her strength and her dedication, but at times that can make it more challenging when it comes to connecting. Not for her, but for her partner. The dance is better than last week for them. It's fluid and shows off her strength as a ballerina and his partnering skills as a ballroom dancer, but while it is visually pretty, it's not emotionally moving. They don't really mesh well and the relentless drabness of their costuming and set design helped them in that department not at all. They're trying, but I'm just not buying. Judges: Given Jourdan is in the Bottom Three and a repeat offender, I was curious here. All three judges pretty much just echo what I said above. It wasn't out of place or over-the-top and landed more squarely on Marcquet than on Jourdan. So no writing on the wall yet.

Stanley & Jessica/Jazz. The new It Couple is up! No pimp spot for them tonight. So far, the evening hasn't been stellar, so they can really make an impact here. There seems to be natural chemistry here, likely at least in part due to the fact that they are both very highly skilled in the same discipline, so that base level of trust is established straight off. I'm hoping for something to elevate the mood this evening. Also? Stanley is in the Bottom Three tonight, so … no pressure, big guy. And then … oh boy. Tasty Oreo has returned. (Hey, you say Tyce Diorio three times real fast and tell me what it sounds like.) At least it's jazz and not Broadway, but I'm not sure that's making me feel that much better. Sigh. So, even though Tyce tells us that they're in their comfort zone here — and he's not wrong, not … OK, only sort of — but then he gives them this Arabian-themed magic carpet ride dance of weirdness and … well, if you've met Tasty — I mean, Tyce, then you know my concerns here. The routine begins and they are actually dancing on a very (very) large Persian rug. Large enough to cover a decent-size living room, wall to wall, so large enough to do a routine on. But then hardly believable as a flying carpet. Also? Can't be easy to dance on that rough pile. Oh, Show … you're determined to make this a strange night. The song is also odd in that it seems to have absolutely nothing to do with the flying-carpet theme, so while the routine is interesting and they, of course, perform it well, it's hard to get into it or connect with in any real way. It just made me scratch my head, and while I don't think it hurt them, it didn't do them any favors. But then, that's Tyce for ya. Judges: The only important thing is that Nigel was all about the Stanley love, so he's not going home. Heads up, Emilio and Teddy!

Emilio & Bridget/Jive. This was the pair whose performance I largely missed last week due to Mother Nature interference, but what I saw didn't do much for me. Clearly, it wouldn't have mattered if I'd seen all of it, as they are both in the Bottom Three. Keep in mind that this is the first week these dancers are in the bottom (or not) after dancing with their newly assigned partner for the first time, so that really didn't go well for them. I am made much happier when I see that we have ballroom All-Stars Pasha and Anya as the choreographers. Not because I think they'll necessarily help Emilio or Bridget conquer the jive — though, if anyone can, it's this pair — but because I get to watch Pasha for a brief, oh so brief, few minutes. Hey, you take your fun where you can get it! And this week? It's been a little dicey. So I take. And I enjoy. The pair are given the ultimate feel-good song with Pharrell's Happy … will it help? Now, full credit to these two — they come out killin' it. They are both very good stage performers — almost too good, they clearly never met a cameraman they didn't like and they are making goo-goo eyes at all of them here — but this is not a slow dance and they are kicking and flicking with the best of them. A much better showing, technically, than I anticipated. I think the mugging is a bit much, even for a mug-freely dance like jive. The true test will come with whether the judges give love, or taketh away, as that will be the telling truth on who goes home tonight, me thinks. They deserve some love for pulling this off as well as they did. Judges: Mary loves. Misty is all love for a change. But the important one is Nigel — and he makes the love fest complete. He is stymied by their Bottom Three placement. In other words: You're safe.

Teddy & Emily/Contemporary. This is our other Bottom Three pairing this week. And since the previous pair seemed safe, and Stanley is safe, that means Teddy? You're a marked man. Emily? It could still be Jourdan's time to walk, so you need to help Dead Man Walking next to you and do something special here. Oh my. They also get Tasty Oreo. Seriously, this is not a stellar week, Show. The Madrids and Pasha can only do so much. All I know is that these two need to be very afraid. Stanley and Jessica they are not. I will say, however, that in rehearsal, they do seem to be very naturally connected to one another, and that will help them here tremendously. The performance begins, and they are actually doing a lovely job of it, but then the show (who apparently hired Stoner Music Dude from Dancing With the Stars … don't ask) went and gave them this guttural Nina Simone song sung all in French. Making it a challenge, yet again, to fully connect, for this armchair judge. The song is somewhat atonal and really distracting. A shame, because it could have been a "moment" dance for them, and definitely for Teddy, who is out of his comfort zone but doing a very lovely job here. I'll be curious to see how the judges go on this one. Does he go? Or does he stay? All three guys acquitted themselves well, with Stanley actually getting most of the criticism of the three. Would they really send him home? Hmm … Judges? Nigel explains that the English lyrics to the song were written by American poet and composer Rod McKuen and quite beautifully express the theme of this dance. So … naturally, we don't get to hear them in English. Seriously, Show? He has all love for them, so it doesn't seem like they're going home, either.

Hmm… Show. Hmmm … what does this mean? Will we see the return of Dance For Your Life tonight?

Casey & Brooklyn/Jazz. These two were in the bottom last week, but safe this week. Will that hold? Hmm … They get jazz from Bonnie Story (Emmy Award winner from High School Musical). I like her, so let's cross fingers we get both the good dance and the good music this time. We have four tries left! We get Michael Buble's This Thing Called Love, so music? Check! Cute jazz routine? Check! Do we love it? Mmmm … check! I think they did a really good job with this. And no Persian rug! So, double jazz bonus! Not my favorite of the night — there's a lot of pink bubblegum in this Buble-driven jazz number — but a solid, solid entry. Neither dancer is in danger this week, so let's jump to the next number, shall we?

Rickey & Valerie/Viennese Waltz. Yes, we're back with The Adorables. It's hard not to permagrin around these two, so why even try to resist? I'm a little thrown when I find out their choreographer for the Viennese Waltz is former SYTYCD contestant and DWTS pro (and Benji's sister) Lacey Schwimmer. Not that she can't handle it, but I guess I don't think of it as being her wheelhouse, per se. So … there's that. Also, outside both of their wheelhouses as well. So, this could be really interesting. I hope in a good way? I have my hand over my eyes and am a little bit skeered to peek through my fingers. Hold me? Turns out I don't need holding. Pshaw! What was I worried about? They get Jason Mraz and are costumed in Victorian-themed garb that is both elegant and romantic. And perfection. As are they. Valerie looks truly lovely and far more comfortable than I'd imagined she would, smiling so joyfully, like she is truly Cinderella at the ball. For Rickey's part, Lacey is very smart to play to his strengths, giving him a few extra spins and turns to add to the elegance factor. Of course, he partners Valerie beautifully as well. It's all just a lot of loveliness for us to enjoy. And speaking for me? I did. Very much. Favorite of the night, so far. And it was a waltz. Hunh. Who knew that could happen? This is some special chemistry happening here, folks. Sit back and enjoy the ride. Judges? Nigel is standing. Nuff said.

Serge & Carly/Hip-hop. The pair gets a Luther Brown routine, and I'm ready for the entertainment to continue, y'all. Carly is looking all beast in rehearsal and even Luther is impressed. Serge is having a harder time finding his inner street dancer with all that ballroom training, but I think this pair could do something interesting here. And then they come out all costumed and made up like skeletons. I know you got an Emmy nom for costume and makeup, Show, but this feels like … a little too much Let's Play Halloween and not enough organic inspiration. That said, they do a really good job, despite a song that is not a song, and even for rap is so monotone that, after a while, I just wanted to make it stop. Or make them rap in even one other key. Just one. Could have been more brilliant than it was with better costuming and music, but they did what was asked of them. And did it well. Our judges are mixed over it, so who knows where these two land next week?

Rudy & Tanesha/Broadway. I'm glad these two get the last slot tonight. They are an energetic, likable pair, so hopefully they'll close out this kind of oddly uneven night on a really high note. (Yeah, yeah, before the crushing buzz kill of sending two of them home, but still …) They get Warren Carlyle, who I know of not at all, for a classic Broadway number. My hopes, they are … ambivalent. There are props. Just canes, this time, but you know. Props. So I will just sit back and let this dance happen to me, and hope for joy. Or at least no cane droppage. If any two kids were wired for Broadway hamminess, it's these two. Good things might happen. You just never know. OK, so I kind of know? But I'm hoping for joy. My joy gets its first boundless leap when we learn they are getting the original cast of Fosse singing their number tonight, so, major bonus. And this routine? Is crazy hard. And crazy fast. It also calls for absolute synchronization between the two, which they mostly have — and mostly, in this case, is pretty phenomenal because that choreographer pulled out every last stop. Whoa. Tanesha, you could tell, was having to think it a bit as she performed, where Rudy completely owned his part. Put that boy on Broadway right now. All in all, a very high-caliber performance for a very high-caliber and demanding routine. Well done, you peppy pair, well done. Judges? All three standing. Earned.

We breeze past our musical guest, A Great Big World, so we can get to that part where we find out who goes home tonight. We start with Nigel telling us that they take both America's vote and their performances this evening into consideration, then he informs us that they've decided to honor America's vote and so are sending home the two who got the least votes overall. Given the evenness of everyone's performances tonight, I think that's as fair as it can be, really. How does that translate? For the guys, that means Stanley is leaving, and for the girls, Jourdan is out.

Big surprise for Stanley, for me. A shame the judges were so hard on that phone routine last week, harsher than was necessary, I think, comparatively speaking. It's cost both performers their slots. So, a disappointment, but then the other two did really well this evening, too, so what can you do? As for the girls, no surprise there and no disappointment for me. Sorry, Jourdan.

What does this mean for us next week? It means Marcquet gets Jessica as his new partner! It also means that since the competition part of our show, which, including this upcoming week, makes four weeks so far … Jessica will have had four different partners. Hard for her … but apparently harder for her partners! Two of them, so far, anyway.

After tonight, any predictions of who will be in the bottom next week? Who will go home? The show was so all over the place tonight, I really don't know. I feel like Zach & Jacque might be in trouble given they went first and might be forgotten. But they did better than many this evening, so … possible. I think Marcquet might be in trouble, that's two weeks without anything stellar to show for it. Will Jessica be in trouble by association with partners not doing well and also not great routines? The only other pair who might not have translated to votes were Serge and Carly in their Halloween Hip-hop garb. As to who goes home from that batch? Possibly Marcquet and Carly? I don't know.

Well, fellow armchair judges, we're through another week! We're through another sad, buzz-killing elimination round. So let's turn those sad faces around, shall we? Last week I put a copy of my latest book, Half Moon Harbor, up for grabs, along with a fabulous charm pendant, designed exclusively for this book by the wonderful Joyce Taber of The Cotton Thistle. A huge thank-you to all of you who entered and thanks for those who included a little dance dish along with. I love my fellow armchair judges! Even when you disagree with me. After all, that's why we have more than one dancer to vote for. Even if, you know, you're voting for the wrong one. I can say with absolute certainty who the right one is for this giveaway though — because she won it! Come on down, Deborah Dumm!! Your book and pendant prize will go right out in the mail to you. Woo hoo!! Thanks so much for playing.

Now, now, don't go all glum-faced, all you Not-Deborah-Dumms. Come on, you know me better than that by now. You know it's only a matter of weeks before the next book in my Blueberry Cove series comes out. Aug. 26 in fact. Yep. That's when Sandpiper Island will be in a for-real store or virtual store of your choice, so you can race right out and buy it for your very own. I mean, it's like we're friends now. So you can show it off to everyone and be all, "I know her. We judge So You Think You Can Dance together." And they will be so impressed. As they should. Well, because we're friends, and because you have an "in" now, you could snag a copy of Sandpiper Island even before it hits the stands. I know! Talk about impressing the neighbors! (Hey, I do what I can to up your street cred, you know?)

So, here's the deal. You drop me an e-mail to donna@donnakauffman.com.

with "We're friends. You can give me an advance copy. I know you want to" in the subject line. And just like that, you're in! I'll draw a name from all the entries and announce the winner here in big, bold digital lights for all the world and your neighbors to see. Don't forget to check back. You wouldn't want to miss your moment.

In the meantime, I'm inviting you to come on over and keep the chat going at my Facebook Fan Page. Of course, personally, I call it my Facebook Friend Page, because, you know you are. Swing by, bring an iced tea and pull up an armchair. We'll dish …