Kristan Higgins: Underwear malfunctions I have known

Hello, HEA readers! It's so nice to be back! In Your Dreams is out this week, and I can't wait for you to read it! And before I tell you a little bit about the book (and yes, some underwear difficulties of my own), I wanted to mention that if you buy In Your Dreams this week, you'll benefit Fisher House Foundation.

If you don't know what Fisher House does … they build beautiful homes all across the country so that military families can stay together at no cost when a loved one is in the hospital. And there's no better medicine than that, is there? So make sure you get your copy of In Your Dreams this week, because Harlequin will match whatever I donate. Two contributions for the price of one book! Go for it, gang!

In Your Dreams is about two people who don't quite realize how much they need each other. Jack Holland, brother to three sisters and all-around great guy, would really like to get out of town. He's recently saved four kids from a terrible car accident, and the unwanted adulation from the media and townspeople is making him itchy. Emmaline Neal, on the other hand, has to go to a wedding. Not just any wedding, but that of her ex-fiancé. Three years ago, Kevin dumped her for Naomi; to not go would say she's still brokenhearted. Of course she's going. And who better to go with than Jack, everyone's turn-to date in times like these?

At the wedding, there's a moment I think all of us women can relate to involving the triumvirate of terror. A bathing suit, a public place, and a really hot guy. Naomi has a body that would make angels weep, so Emmaline does what I would do: buys one of those "Look 10 pounds Lighter" suits that squish your internal organs and make your legs go numb. Hey. Numb legs and liver damage are a small price to pay for a waist, especially under these circumstances.

However, other parts also get squished. Parts that Em would rather, ah … highlight? Enhance? Advertise? So yeah, she buys these … products and slides them under the girls and voila! Her rack has liftoff. The ex-fiancé doesn't seem to notice or care, but Jack certainly does. He can't quite take his eyes off her, so he also notices when one of the miracle products goes missing.

It's my favorite scene in the book, I think. It made my mom laugh till she choked, which is always a good sign.

And now, because you're so wonderful, a few tales from the annals of Kristan Higgins' Endless Struggles with Undergarments.

• The time I was interviewing for a very posh job in New York City, and everything was going great until the underwire of my elderly bra decided to work its way out of the bra, through my white blouse and into my arm, causing some bleeding and an overall "exploding half-human, half-android" effect.

• The time I put my thumb through my tights moments before a book signing in Upstate New York and had to go with naked legs. It was about 7 degrees, as I recall. My memory is hazy because of the hypothermia.

• The time the elastic on my panties gave up the ghost and tried to obey gravity and slither to the floor, causing me to swagger like John Wayne to keep them in the general neighborhood where panties are supposed to be. (They were really cute, though. Squirrels exchanging Christmas gifts. Very fun. Not that the Harlequin executive team wanted to know that, but still).

• And, lastly, the time that, in order to bring a little spontaneity to my sainted husband's life, I bought a … a frock, shall we say? A bustier, I think it's called. It had a lot of hooks and boning and was something you might see on Downton Abbey (or in a torture chamber). But hey, nothing's too good for the man, right? I'm sure it would've looked very hot, except in order to fasten all those little hooks, I had to put it on backward, and when the time came to slide it around, the dang thing wouldn't budge. The backward bustier didn't have quite the right effect; McIrish laughed until he cried, and sexy time had to be postponed until he could get me out of that thing. Good thing he's a firefighter. The Jaws of Life came in handy that day.

Leave a comment, and you could win the first three Blue Heron books, signed by yours truly. I hope you love In Your Dreams, guys! Don't forget to buy your copy this week!

Kristan Higgins is a Paste BN and New York Times bestselling author who continues to spend far too much time in lingerie departments in her eternal quest for the perfect bra. For more tales of humiliation, humor and family life, visit her at www.kristanhiggins.com, on Facebook or on Twitter (@Kristan_Higgins).