'NCIS' season 12: Donna Kauffman recaps episode 3

If it's Tuesday, it's time! Time for some Leroy Jethro Gibbs goodness. Tonight it's double the fun, because we get a #TBT (Throwback Tuesday, in this case) to Ducky's past. And can I just say, wowza, NCIS casting department! Having seen the previews, I'm already having Man from U.N.C.L.E. flashbacks. (OK, OK, for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, go ahead and do the GoogleBing. You'll see just how hot David McCallum was Back In The Day. They did a smashing good job in casting his more youthful doppelganger.)

But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. So let's dive in from the top, shall we? Who is our Murdered Marine this week?

Our story unfolds …

We have a dapper, older English gent taking a jaunty ride down a country road in his … red Mustang? M'kay. He's on his mobile, talking about his tourist stops, as the camera pans back so we, the viewers, realize he's being watched through a pair of binoculars by a guy in some very unfortunately patterned camo pants. Jaunty British Gent assures whoever is on the other end of the line that everything is going as planned … just as Binocular Guy drops down and perches his shoulder-launching missile thingie on his, uh, shoulder. (Hey, only the most cutting-edge technological terms are used in this recap. Don't try them at home.) We get an "Oh, dear," from Jaunty British Gent as he spies the missile flying through the air and … hitting the red Mustang. Buh-bye, JBG. We hardly new ye. Cue Most Awesome Opening Credits Theme Music.

On returning from commercials, we're in the Agent Bullpen as Special Agent DiNozzo and Probie Bishop are looking at the Screen of All Knowledge. Instead of information about our Murder of the Week, however, we're apparently doing a little snooping on Abby's new paramour, whom we met in last week's episode. Ah, yes, the return of Park Ranger Sgt. Chiseled. (In case you were wondering why a romance author was recapping NCIS? Well, there you go. It's all about the relationships, baby. And I'm pretty good with those.) So, is it possible that Tony and Bishop aren't as enthusiastic with this particular burgeoning relationship as I am? Ah, not the issue, we see, as the camera pans back to include Abby in the frame. They're snooping for her, not behind her back. Good to have friends in Screen of All Knowledge places. Seems the snooping is turning out a long list of pros and not any cons, so my hopes, they continue to climb. Abby is suddenly all "Code McBlue, Code McBlue," as Special Agent Tim strolls in and Tony quickly clicks the screen blank. Why?

We find out as he takes the clicker away from Tony, flashes the screen back to life, then proceeds to flip through the dossier Bishop has been compiling. "Doing your background for you?" he asks Abby. He notes Bishop even got Sgt. Chiseled's shoe size. "It's a myth you know," he tells her as Tony is all, "I'm size 12!" Ah, I love it when the band gets back together. Tim assures Abby he's not jealous, he has Delilah after all, and she assures him that's not the problem. Tony chimes in with, "It's the overprotective big-brother routine that's getting old." Tim goes into Big Brother Routine denial, even as, in the next breath, he chastises her for dating a guy they know nothing about. Except for that incredibly well-documented background check thing. Which, he reminds Tony and Bishop, they could get into a lot of trouble for.

"Trouble for what?" On cue. Hello, Gibbs! Tony and Bishop rush to reassure him they didn't access any law enforcement databases for their check as Gibbs moves to stand right in front of Tim's desk to lean in and say, "McGee, it's the overprotective big-brother routine that's getting old." HA! Have I mentioned that I love the return of the Gibbs who isn't so dark and funereal all the time? Love the return of the wry snark. So glad we're past The Agent Who Is No Longer With Us and moving on. Like a breath of fresh show, it is.

However, family time is over. Now it's time to turn our attention to Murder of the Week. "Car blast in Virginia," Gibbs informs them, as they all grab their gear to follow him. Except Tim, who turns back to Abby with, "He's really not right for y—" She shuts him down with a smile. I'm glad she's confident about this. Well, confident for Abs, anyway. I'm sure the dithering will return. Just nice that it's not in front of Tim.

Switch to scene of badly charred body and agents securing the scene. We find out that it was a truck driver who called it in, despite there being fresh tire tracks on the road from another vehicle. (Unfortunately Patterned Camo-Clad Shoulder-Launching Missile Guy.) Ducky and Jimmy arrive. Ducky surmises our victim was a man of advanced age who was ejected from the vehicle when the missile hit. No word yet on who the badly toasted guy is, but we learn NCIS was called in when the first responders found a black box hidden under the spare tire that contains military deployment orders.

Tim gets the info on the rental, and as he mentions the name on the rental agreement, Ducky chimes in that he knew someone by that name, back in his early years in England. As he begins to wax rhapsodic, Tim chimes in with information that confirms the man in his report and the one Ducky is reminiscing over are one and the same. As he looks back at the dead body, Ducky reveals that the man was his childhood best friend. Fade to black/white screen.

We return from commercial to find Ducky standing outside the autopsy room, appearing hesitant to go in and work on his old friend. As Gibbs comes out of the elevator behind him, he reminisces about games they played as children, and Gibbs, hearing, seeing his pain, tells him they can get someone else. "No, we can't," he tells Gibbs, listing their previous losses of loved ones, including Kate, Director Shepard, Mike Franks. "Their autopsies were all I had left of them. If I wasn't willing to give up those last moments with them, I'm sure as hell not giving them up now." As he strides determinedly into the autopsy room, Gibbs smiles in approval, watching him go.

Jimmy thinks it might help to start their work with a small joke, but rethinks that as soon as he starts in, but Ducky relents, asking him to finish, and they both share a small smile at the punch line, then begin. These two have an awkward and endearing bond, and I like how the writers work hard to keep that challenging combination fresh and affectionate. It works here. Quite well, in fact.

Ducky glances at X-rays as he moves around the table to begin, then pauses as he notices the dental. Jimmy confirms he took the X-rays himself as Ducky examines the corpse's dental work. Turns out, it's not his old friend after all. He tells Jimmy that his auld pal Angus had implants in place of his original front teeth. He knows this because he was the one who knocked out the originals.

This kicks us to our first Young Ducky Flashback. Yay! A blond and incredibly good-looking — in a '60s British Pop Band turtleneck and blazer kind of way — Tommy Mallard is trying to purchase train tickets from a rather overly jovial and verbose ticket master. A rather suave and Bond-like Young Angus slides in and rescues him with the always helpful "he's needed in surgery" routine, and the two move away and have a little chat. We learn Tommy/Ducky is due for basic training in the Royal Army Medical Corp in 30 days, while Angus — who is wearing a rather fabulously tailored suit — is apparently the future recipient of a family fortune. (The Man from U.N.C.L.E. flashbacks continue because these two, well, let's just say they have a striking resemblance to McCallum's Illya Kuryakin and Robert Vaughn's Napoleon Solo from Bond author Ian Fleming's spin-off characters that became the '60s hit espionage TV series. A coincidence? Oh, most definitely not. Also? Did you know there's a remake motion picture coming next year? Neither did I! Can't wait. Then you'll all know the fabulousness that is Illya and Napoleon.) But, I digress.

Tommy/Ducky catches on that Young Angus is trying to lure him to some kind of surprise going-away party and reminds him how much he despises them. Which is when Angus comes clean and admits he knew he didn't stand a chance fooling him into going to a hotel for dinner with him and doing it there, so — with a quick whistle, out pops a trio of squealing girls and voila! Instant surprise party, Angus style.

We're snapped back to the present and a smiling Ducky and — oh, thanks, another close-up of Charred JBG. We get it, Show. We don't need to keep getting it. Leave us to our happy musings along with Ducky/Young Tommy, will you? Especially if it means more Young Angus. (Hey, I told you. You want suave, hunky hero types? Stick with me.)

Cut to Abby Lab as she confirms to Gibbs that Charred JBG is not Angus. She's still working on the DNA sample to find out who he actually is, but in the meantime has confirmed that the weapon used was an anti-tank missile. "How's that for overkill?" Gibbs wants to know if she traced the source, given this isn't something you can pick up at Massive Weapons of Destruction R Us. She says it's not easy as it's the most common type of anti-tank weapon used, but also reveals she discovered the last entry on Charred JBG's GPS was … NCIS. The plot, it thickens. She wonders if perhaps he was coming to return the files he had in the little black case, then goes on to show the files of at least three naval officers that he had as well. The one thing they have in common is that they're all dead. Not from murder, but from natural causes, such as car accident, fall from a roof and heart attack. Weird, she thinks, just as I'm thinking our JBG probably also thought it was weird and started digging, perhaps? Just as Abby completes her report, she gets a DNA hit. And … bingo. There's our JBG.

We segue over to the Screen of All Knowledge back in the Agent Bullpen as Tony tells us JBG is British citizen Samuel Colpepper, arrived in the U.S. the week previous on business. Tim chimes in with info on the man he was traveling with … and up pops a current photo of Ducky's friend, Angus. He owns a few hotels in the U.S., but had returned to England a few days ago, leaving Colpepper behind in the U.S. to do some shopping, as determined by his credit card bills. Bishop says that the two men were in the U.S. to meet with local businessmen, and that no one has heard from or seen Angus since his return to the U.K., either, and the British police are looking for him.

Enter Ducky, who informs them that he, too, has made inquiries and has also had no luck contacting his old friend. Tim surmises he might have been coming to see Ducky, but why the files and the black box of deployment files? Gibbs informs Bishop she's heading across the pond to interview Angus when he turns out, then reminds Ducky that he has some unused vacation time, and perhaps he might want to trek across the sea as well.

Road trip!

Ducky springs quite jauntily into action and races to the elevator, accompanying Bishop out. She assures him they'll find his friend, asking when was the last time they saw each other. Flashback! We're in a pub with Ducky/Tommy swinging at Angus and connecting rather forcefully with his mouth. "My going-away party," Ducky says, as we return to the elevator.

Hello, Big Ben! We're in London as Ducky and Bishop trade snoring complaints as they cross the lobby and meet up with one of Angus' employees, his very tall, very dapper personal assistant, Gareth. He informs them that they cannot have access to Angus' office as it's strictly verboten, no exceptions. But before they can try to convince him otherwise, they are joined by a woman who turns out to be Angus' soon-to-be ex-wife as she explains she has divorce papers to serve him. Ducky looks gobsmacked, clearly knows the woman. There is no love lost between Angus' Almost Ex and Tall Dapper Gareth, who quickly departs. She turns to Ducky, and it's clear that yes, they do know each other, and no, the memories they share are not fond. She assures him she will make certain he has access to whatever he wants to see, then strides away, leaving a pensive-looking Ducky and confused Bishop in her quietly formidable wake. Bishop watches her, all, "I want to be her when I grow up," and Ducky … mmm … not so much.

Cue '60s music as we flash back to Tommy/Ducky cutting quite the rug at his going-away party, Angus boogying by his side. The young version of Formidable Almost Ex shows up, busses them both on the cheek, and they retire to a table where she gives him a going-away tie. "You're a doctor, you need to update your wardrobe." And Angus reveals he got him a velvet-boxed scalpel. We learn Tommy/Ducky has switched from hearts to babies as his chosen field of practice, largely because there aren't so many dead people. "To be honest, if I never see another dead body again, it will be too soon." Oh, Young Ducky. Angus has them toast to the three musketeers, then Young Almost Ex tries to lure him to the dance floor as Angus departs to answer the call of nature. He declines, but watches as she does a rather bad imitation of '60s dancing, and … are those sparks we see?

We're snapped back to the future as they enter Angus' personal domain to discover he was sleeping at the office. Good thing his office is a hotel and comes complete with a big suite. Bishop spies a photo of the three musketeers on Angus' desk and exclaims on how hot, how totally hot, Ducky was when he was — gulp. She apologizes, but Ducky merely rhapsodizes, "I loved that turtleneck." Ha! He reveals that yes, they were the best of friends, and when asked what happened, he only says, "Life happened."

Bishop finds the files that Colpepper had on him on Angus' computer, meaning they originated with Angus. Before they can ponder why that is, a scantily clad woman runs out of Angus' bathroom, sees the two of them, babbles something, then exits stage right. Bishop goes after her as we cut to a warehouse back in the States and two men arguing over the selling and buying of one's business to the other as Gibbs and Tony stride in, in the background.

Turns out, the business owner is former Navy, the wannabe purchaser is a British guy who is trying to help the owner with "solvency issues." Turns out, he handled the same for Angus years back in the U.K. and they met in the U.S. — where British Solvency Savior has recently relocated — to discuss purchasing a hotel there. They inform BSS that Angus is missing and an employee is dead. "Not Colpepper," he says. Yes, Colpepper. He reveals he knew Angus and Colpepper were having issues, and though he doesn't know what about, now that Colpepper is dead, "It does lead one to wonder." Fade to black as we see Former Naval Business Owner slide out of sight in the background? Clue? Or just fade-away scenery?

Cut to Abby Lab, where she all but begs Agent Tim to ask her what's clearly on his mind. Eventually he caves and asks if she's seen Sgt. Chiseled, but she declines to answer. "You told me to ask!" Gibbs enters, does that half smile and says he has a question he wants to ask. Heh. Also? Swoon. Abby reports that she has been able to determine that all of the officers that Angus and Colpepper had files on didn't die accidentally after all. They were drugged with a chemical that wouldn't show up on a basic tox screen. Meaning they were actually murdered. This still doesn't answer why Angus had any of this information. He's a hotelier. Then Tim realizes that one of the men they have a file on isn't dead. Yet. "You need to find him," Abby says as Tim and Gibbs exit. "Fast."

They do, and as the young and exceedingly buff … and did I mention sweaty? He's glistening, and quite nicely, too, from his manly man run. Fills out quite the broad-shouldered T-shirt, too, if I might add. I'm sorry. Where was I? Right! As our handsome officer is busily telling the NCIS agents he has no plans to accompany them, much less die, he takes a swig of his workout drink … and promptly collapses.

Cut to London hotel, and we find out Handsome If Arrogant Officer is recovering and awaiting questioning as Bishop tells us that she did catch up with the fleeing woman from Angus' room who claimed he let her crash there, but there was no relationship between them. Enter Almost Ex who asks, "What woman?" then decides she doesn't want to know.

There's an awkward moment where Ducky asks if she recognizes any of the murdered sailors and their hands inadvertently brush. The following moment is steeped in so much tension that Bishop makes her excuses and leaves them alone, allowing Ducky to ask, "What happened, Maggie?" Flashback to the going-away party and Tommy/Ducky sipping drinks with Young Maggie at the now empty pub. She goes to put the bow tie she got him around his neck, and Tommy reveals he loves her and wants her to go away with him. She had started to tell him something before his confession and is stunned, asking why he didn't say anything sooner. "I'm saying something now." He leans in to kiss her and in walks Angus, who is clearly not happy to see his two besties kissing each other. Turns out, you guessed it, what she was about to tell our poor about-to-be-heartbroken Tommy is that she and Angus? Yeah, he apparently told her his feelings first.

Angus sees she has a thing for Tommy and puts it to her, telling her to pick. She turns and runs out, leaving Tommy to confront Angus with the fact that he knows Angus doesn't love her. "And you do?" Angus demands. Yeah. He does. Clear all over his face. Angus walks away with some tossed-off line about Tommy keeping her and how she's a "cheap floozy." And … the fight ensues. Back at the hotel, Ducky is looking at Maggie, who says, simply, "You left. And you never came back." Then she gets up and leaves.

Back at NCIS Central, Jimmy confirms the allergic reaction to Glistening Jogging Guy. In the meantime, Tony and McGee have figured out that the replacement soldiers for the dead men are all of Albanian descent. Coincidence? Nah. There is a brief, awkward scene of Jimmy clapping as he enjoys the "Tony & McGee Show" that just plays as awkward, and not so much with the endearing part. Well, writers, I know better than anyone that they can't all be winners, but … what was that? Cut to Gibbs taking a call from Bishop and finding out that Angus has indeed been found. At the bottom of a river. Aww.

We cut to Maggie, who opens her door to find a solemn Ducky, who has come to deliver the news. She can tell what's coming, tries denial for all of two seconds, then admits she's known in her heart all along. Ducky enters the room as she retreats from the door and finds the scalpel Angus gave him that long-ago night, on a little stand on the table. "There is little in my life I regret more than that night," he tells her. "He would say the same," she says. She tells him that she and Angus were really just meant to be friends.

Back in the NCIS Interrogation room, Tony is interviewing one of the Albanian replacement soldiers who claim to not know anything about anything. Of course they know everything, but seem pretty cocky that no one can make the connection. Enter Tim, who has discovered that all the replacements listed the same contact guy on their forms. An Albanian mafia guy, living in the U.K. … who … well, lookee here! It's Tall Dapper Gareth, Angus' right-hand man-slash-employee we met back in the lobby that first London morning. What's that all about?

We're about to find out. Cut to London and our tall, dapper personal assistant, who is still in Maggie's room, overcome by his boss' death and asking, quite determinedly as he makes himself at home, for a drink. Back at Agent Bullpen Central, it seems as if Gareth was sent to the U.K. to watch over a prostitution ring, but turns out his real job was smuggling weapons. Like, oh, some anti-tank missiles, perhaps? "Why is he still free?" Gibbs wants to know. "Because no one has ever lived to testify against him," replies Tony. What I want to know is, how is this tied in with Angus? And how did Angus figure out what was what? What I learn instead was that Gareth worked to systematically take out soldiers who were in charge of various departments and replaced them with his guys, in order to develop the smuggling ring. We see Jimmy lurking in the background — what is UP with that? — and when Gibbs wants to know where Ducky is and no one knows, he pops up with, "I know!"

Then we're back at the hotel and the threesome still together as Gareth sips his drink and ruminates about his boss as Ducky takes a call from Gibbs. We assume he's been informed of who Gareth really is and tries to ask for a private meeting with Maggie and will Gareth please excuse him. And … the charade comes to an end as he grabs Ducky's phone and throws it across the room. He pulls out a knife and tells them both to sit down.

Back in the bullpen, Gibbs is trying to get to Ducky, and back in the hotel room, Gareth confesses he killed Angus and will now have to kill Ducky and Maggie. As he turns, Ducky steals the scalpel and informs the swaggering Gareth, as he claims he will make it quick with Ducky but take his time killing Maggie, "Over my dead body." When Gareth comes closer, he flicks the blade, and Gareth thinks he's only been nicked and snickers that now he'll take his time killing Ducky, too. Then, suddenly, he begins to waver. Ducky informs him he's nicked his brachial artery and he'll be dead in 90 seconds. Go Go Power Ranger Ducky!

Ducky, as he calmly counts down the seconds, says he'll be happy to save Gareth if he tells him why he killed Angus. He reveals the whole scheme and says he blackmailed Angus into going along by threatening to kill Maggie if he didn't allow them to run their prostitution ring from his hotels. But Angus dug and found proof of what was really going on and tried to get it to Ducky, who would take down Gareth and his ring of merry bad men, who would never know it was Angus. Thereby leaving him free to go on with his life, now free of the Albanians. Only, it didn't work out that way. A steely Ducky gets Gareth to confess who his boss is as he takes what is close to his dying breath.

Cue our smugly smiling Gibbs as he enters the same warehouse where the British Solvency Savior is now celebrating his new partnership with the recently but no longer disgruntled ex-naval guy. Ah, the Big Bad has bullied and blackmailed a new partner in crime. Yeah, well, we all know how that's going to go. Let's sit back and enjoy a patented Gibbs & Company take-down, shall we? Ahhh. Always so good.

Back in London, the sun has set as Ducky stares across the Thames at Big Ben. Bishop resurfaces with news that their transport to the airport will be there in a half hour. When she asks how he left things with Maggie, a solemn and distracted Ducky tells her he didn't, that he simply left. "Without saying goodbye?" "Yes," says Maggie as she enters. "Living across the pond hasn't done much for your manners," she says with a quiet smile. Bishop exits once again, leaving the two old friends alone. She says he didn't give her the chance to explain, lo those many years ago, and he says, "What was there to explain?" And … we get one last flashback. A rather defeated-looking Tommy sitting in the train station. His expression brightens when Maggie steps into the train lobby, but at the look of defeat on her own face, his sinks, and he gets up and leaves for the train. Back in the here and now, Maggie tells him that it was the hardest day of her life, choosing between two men she loved, and that she made the wrong choice. Then it was too late, and Ducky was committed to the war and she to being a good wife … and so it went. She notes his bow tie — ah! Now we know why he favors them! — and asks why he wears one if they're so hard to keep straight. They both simply smile, and then she asks him why he never married.

And … oh boy. We get a much deeper answer than we anticipate. "A colleague and a very good friend of mine lost his soul mate, and then he nearly wrecked his life marrying the wrong woman over and over, trying to find her again. I … chose to skip that part." Oh, Ducky. Oh, Gibbs. Sniffle! "So," she asks, "now what?" He pulls out the long-ago train ticket and says, "I don't suppose this is still any good." His eyes grow all dark and intense. "Or … is it?" A clearly shaken Maggie breathlessly says, "What are you asking?" Ducky smiles. "To be honest, I don't know. All I know is that I would like to stand here, with you, a little longer. Next to you. Maybe just not say anything." And then he gives her that look, and we fade to black and white …

Oh, swoon!

That, my friends, is romance. Join me, won't you, in a deep, appreciative sigh. Ahh, another good week. What a great start to this season. My show is back, my show is back! And next week looks tempting, too.

Let's keep those good vibes going with a little Giveaway Goodness, shall we? Today is the Big Release Day for the mass-market version of my Christmas anthology, The Sugar Cookie Sweetheart Swap, and to celebrate, I put three of them up for grabs in last week's recap. Thanks to one and all for jumping in so enthusiastically. (And who knew just how global the love is for this show? Love all the mail, both domestic and from abroad. Keep them coming!) The happening winners for this week are: Kathy Conrad, Devin Devries and Liz Digman. Drop me a note to donna@donnakauffman.com with an address, and your prizes will go out in the mail to you.

So, what's on tap in this week's goodie bag? How about an actual bag? I have a signed copy of the second book in my Bachelors of Blueberry Cove series, Half Moon Harbor, and a lovely matching canvas tote to go with. Yes, you can be the envy of all your friends and tote-craving neighbors. Just drop me a note to donna@donnakauffman.com with "Oh yeah, that Half Moon Harbor book & tote bag are so mine!" in the subject line. That's it! Well, if you'd like to share your thoughts on all things Gibbs and hot young Ducky, please do! I'll announce the winner in next week's recap. Interested in finding out more about my romance author alter ego? Check out my equally happening website and join the daily fun and frivolity over on my Facebook Fan Page.