Excerpt: 'The Bane Chronicles' by Cassandra Clare

HEA is thrilled to share this endlessly entertaining excerpt from The Bane Chronicles by Cassandra Clare. And don't miss HEA's rec for The Bane Chronicles.

Here's the blurb about The Bane Chronicles (courtesy of Margaret K. McElderry Books):

Fans of The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices can get to know warlock Magnus Bane like never before in this collection of New York Times bestselling tales, in print for the first time with an exclusive new story and illustrated material.

This collection of eleven short stories illuminates the life of the enigmatic Magnus Bane, whose alluring personality, flamboyant style, and sharp wit populate the pages of the #1 New York Times bestselling series, The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices.

Originally released one-by-one as e-only short stories by Cassandra Clare, Maureen Johnson, and Sarah Rees Brennan, this compilation presents all ten together in print for the first time and includes a never-before-seen eleventh tale, as well as new illustrated material.

The excerpt …

The Voicemail of Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, in the Days Following a Certain Incident in City of Lost Souls.

Today 2:00 a.m.

"Hi, Magnus. It's Alec. Alexander. Well, you know that. I'm just calling because I think we need to talk. I guess you're busy. Call me back, okay?"

Beep

Today 2:10 a.m.

"Hi, Magnus. This is Isabelle Lightwood. There seems to have been a small misunderstanding. My brother came home under an impression I'm sure is totally mistaken. Call me or else, and let's get this cleared up! I don't know why I said 'or else.' We're all friends here."

Beep

Today 2:35 a.m.

"Isabelle speaking. Maybe there hasn't been a misunderstanding. Maybe you just made a terrible error. That's okay! People make mistakes. All they have to do is grovel and beg for forgiveness, and then all is well. That's how it can be. I'm prepared to let it go this once, Magnus."

Beep

Today 3:00 a.m.

"Isabelle. Let me just follow up by describing what a big mistake you would be making if you broke up with Alec. The Lightwoods are a seriously hot people. Some people say the Herondales used to be hot, but think about it—not only do we outnumber them, but we took their last hottie and we made him ours. Obviously, we won the victory.

"I have looked back on portraits of our ancestors. Gabriel Lightwood was notably smoking. It is rumored that one Consul agreed with everything my great-great aunt Felicia Lightwood ever said, because when she spoke all he heard was 'Foxy foxy foxy.' If you break up with Alec, you will not only be losing one stone cold fox, but a family of foxes. I will pass down the word to my children's children. No Lightwood is ever going to so much as wink at you in a bar. Think about that. Think about being Lightwoodless and lonely five hundred years from now, in a sad and chilly nightclub on the moon."

Beep

Today 11 a.m.

"Hi, it's Alec. I guess you're still busy. That's okay. I know you have a lot of things to do. Just—call me back when you're free? Whenever you're free, it doesn't matter what time. I'll be awake. I really want to talk to you."

Beep

Today 2:30 p.m.

"Hello, Mr. Bane, this is Hadrian Industries. We're calling to engage your services for a simple ritual, in the same vein as the one you performed for us last February. We would like you to bring a crate of horned toads with you. We shall of course amply compensate you for the toads."

Beep

Today 5:14 p.m. "Mrrrrrowl. Mrrrrrowl."

"Ow! Ow, stupid cat! Ahem. You told me, 'stop calling, Isabelle,' but I'm not the one calling you. Church is calling you. Mine are merely the fingers that work the phone.

"See, here's something you may not have known before you committed your recent rash acts. Our cat, Church, and your cat, Chairman Meow? They're in love. I've never seen such love before. I never knew such love could exist in the heart of a ... cat. Some people say that love between two dude cats is wrong, but I think it's beautiful. Love makes Church happier than I've ever seen him. Nothing makes him happy like Chairman Meow. Not tuna. Not shredding centuries-old tapestries. Nothing. Please don't keep these cats apart. Please don't take the joy of love away from Church.

"Look, this is really just a warning for your own good. If you keep Church and Chairman Meow apart, Church will start to get angry.

"You wouldn't like Church when he's angry."

Beep

Today 6:00 p.m.

"Hi, Magnus. This is Clary. Nobody told me to make this phone call.

"Isabelle did ask me to call you, but I said no, and she doesn't know I'm making this one.

"Honestly, when I first met Alec, I thought he was really horrible. Admittedly, I was a little off my game, what with finding out about magic worlds and Mom being kidnapped. That was a bad time, but Alec still was really not my favorite person.

"He was a jerk, but he wasn't a jerk because he's a bad guy. He was a jerk because he was unhappy, and he felt like he had to pretend to be someone he wasn't. I guess he learned that he had to hide things all the time, when he was growing up—that he had to keep secrets or lose people. He's a lot better when he's with you. He's better because he's happier.

"I don't really know how relationships work. Jace is the only boyfriend I've ever had, and I'm told our relationship has not gone along traditional lines. But I guess that's what a relationship seems like to me: that no matter what else is going on, you're happiest when you're together.

"I'm not just calling because I'm worried about Alec. You seemed really happy with him, too.

"I was wondering how you are. I hope you're doing okay."

Beep

—

Find out more about Cassandra Clare and her books at www.cassandraclare.com.