All about female PI's from the perspective of a fictional one

S.L. Ellis' Lane Changes is out now. Her lead character clues us in on what it's like to be a female private investigator …

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When asked to think of a person with intuition, an overwhelming majority of us will think of a female. When thinking of a person with persistence, compassion and great intermediary and listening skills, are you mentally picturing a woman? Odds are that you are.

Now, picture a private investigator or detective. Are you picturing a male? I bet some of you are. PI's are tough, carry a gun and have a sidekick who'll beat the crap out of anyone if asked to by the PI, right? Well, maybe and no.

My name is Cassandra Leah Cruise, and I'm a private investigator. You can call me Cassie as long as you don't think it makes us friends. Am I tough? Sometimes, yes. I can be an Amazon, but a lot of times I can be a crybaby. Do I carry a gun? Again, sometimes yes, but not always. Am I intuitive? I think I am, and I know I'm persistent. Yet, my listening skills aren't so great, and I have almost no patience for slow-witted, fake people. There's a male PI in my town who is known for his compassion and patience with his clients, but he's intimidated by a summer breeze. He also smells like the monkey cage at the zoo in the middle of August when he gets nervous. Your choice, Sweetie-Pie.

When I'm asked whether or not female private eyes are as effective as male private eyes, here's my answer. It's not the gender, it's the person that's qualified or not qualified. Aren't female police officers as effective as male officers? How about firefighters, soldiers, reporters, doctors and CEOs? There are some terrible private investigators and some great investigators — in either gender. It's the same in any profession or trade.

Let's look at a description for a PI. A private investigator is an individual who (1) investigates crimes, (2) investigates the identity, business, occupation, character, etc., of a person, (3) investigates the location of lost or stolen property, (4) investigates the cause of fires, losses, accidents, damage or injury, or (5) secures evidence for use in court.

Look closely at the above description taken from a Bureau of Security and Investigative Services' Private Investigator Fact Sheet. Is there anything that refers to gender? Nope. Nothing in the requirements for licensure either.

I say enough with the questions and the sideways glances. I'm female, I'm a PI and I'm qualified. What more do you want? You want someone to listen to your sob story and bring you hot tea and hand you tissues? Someone who'll be nice? Well, to quote Bette Davis, I'm the nicest god**** dame that ever lived. However, I'm not going to coddle you and I'll always give you honesty over nice. You probably won't like me. I'm sarcastic, have anger issues, can hang on to a grudge forever and have a history as a two-timer. That's OK. You don't have to like me, but I'll do everything in my power to make damn sure you respect me.

Find out more about S.L. and her books at www.cassiecruise.com.