A conversation about BDSM with erotica author Shakir Rashaan

Before, during, after the hype of Fifty Shades of Grey …

Before all things Fifty Shades and those who want to riff off the Fifty Shades moniker, there was fiction under the erotica banner. During the explosion of the trilogy into our awareness, BDSM erotica already existed. And after the vapors settle, there will still be BDSM stories. My point here is to set the record straight that BDSM in life and fiction isn't new.

Fans can recount their initial Fifty Shades experience with the vividness of their first kiss. Several of my friends who weren't even close to being book-a-holics, and would not be seen with a romance book in hand, wanted to talk Fifty Shades with me. While the story excited them or repelled them, in some cases, the curiosity about BDSM was the common element. One friend said, "Do people really do that?" She giggled. For her the book was an eye-opening revelation that her neighbor touted as "you've got to read this."

Fast-forward to the movie premiere, advance screenings and reviewers igniting fan wars, yep, Fifty Shades is back (not that I think it had left). There's nothing that brings on the threat of an apocalyptic war like religion, politics and sex. And blogs are lighting up for the skirmishes. Have fun with that, I'm not suiting up to jump in as anti- or pro Fifty Shades.

What I do want to do is zap the misconceptions of BDSM based on bad intel, illogical scenarios and plain ignorance of the lifestyle. So unlike my friends who came to me, the non-expert, to answer their questions, I'm going to Simon & Schuster's Zane Presents author Shakir Rashaan of the Nubian Underworld series for some wisdom on the BDSM mania.

Michelle: Can humor and BDSM go together in a story? Can readers see the funny side? Is there one?

Shakir: The funny thing about mixing the two is that there are funny happenings all over the place when it comes to BDSM. From the happenings at a convention, to a funny sequence in a dungeon, of course readers can see the funny side of BDSM. The trick is the ability for the author to portray the humor well.

For example, I remember reading about a submissive who was in an intense primal scene, and in an instant, because the Dominant in the scene forgot about one of her triggers, she turned around and knocked him clean across the jaw, knocking him out cold! That was funny as hell to me because I could totally see that happening with a play scene in a dungeon.

Michelle: Is a writer of BDSM under any greater need to be accurate or to provide life lessons in the story?

Shakir: There's a fine line between "accurate" and "realistic," honestly speaking. The reality of being an author in the BDSM genre is we are constantly trying to make the everyday mundane look sexy. People don't mind escaping; that's the main reason books are read. But if someone might want to get the bright idea to actually try some of the things going on inside of the books they read, it might help if the maneuver can actually be done. Remember when everyone was trying to "surfboard" because Beyoncé sang about it? Apply that premise to BDSM play scenes … if it feels like it's impossible based on what you're reading, chances are, it probably is. LOL

The everyday, regular D/s or M/s relationship, when successful, is extremely boring, and in an industry that thrives on conflict, we have to be careful to not portray the conflict between Dominant and submissive as the submissive "topping from the bottom," which, in mainstream terms, means that the submissive is trying to manipulate the situation in order to get her way. It's not easy if you're not around kinksters who can help you wade through the unique nuances of a D/s relationship.

That's one of the reasons why many in the kink community cannot really take Christian Grey seriously; he let her run all over him, and he did so happily. For a so-called Dominant who likes to exercise control in all aspects of his life, he exerted no control over Ana. He would very likely be the butt of jokes in the circles that I run in, that much is for certain.

Michelle: What constitutes an expert for BDSM stories? Do readers or fellow writers look for or care about the expert vs. talented writer telling the story? Do you feel publishers or readers care about the true depiction of the lifestyle?

Shakir: At the end of the day, people want a good story. Yes, it's nice to have the ability to not have the reader suspend logic and reason to the point to where the story is so fantastical that no one can believe that it can happen, but you have to be able to blend the two aspects into the story, if for nothing else, to enhance the fantasies that they already plan to try to fulfill after reading your story.

You can be an expert and not know the first thing about telling a story, and you can be a great storyteller, but if you don't at least know how to research the subject you're writing about to make it appear that you're an "expert," then you look like an idiot.

Michelle: The contract seems to be the freak-out point (at least in Fifty Shades), based on some reader and reviewer comments. Does the contract need a lawyer to review for the nervous nellies and for the line-item veto to separate lifestyle from abuse clauses? I'm being a tad sarcastic, but really, I'm reading so many interpretations of the contract that it seems the A-team of lawyers might need to be at a conference table digging through the fine print.

Shakir: Here's your knock-down, drag-out, unequivocal answer to the question of contracts:

Contracts are NOT. LEGALLY. BINDING.

The part where Ana was striking out the things that she didn't want to do? That is a typical negotiation when reading over a Master/slave contract. Once both Master and slave have signed the contract, however, the contract is binding, so long as the two (or more) people hold to the spirit of the contract.

Nothing is signed in blood, no one has a gun held to their heads. They are willing participants in their own pleasure and enjoyment, plain and simple.

Whether submissive or slave, the thing they have in common, and the thing that people tend to take for granted — dare I say, completely overlook — is the power of choice. A submissive or slave chooses to submit, they are not coerced, they are not bullied, nor are they terrorized.

Michelle: Critics of bad BDSM stories identify their peeve with the total abusive domination of the weaker person. I'm guessing that the major writing mistake is making the submissive weak in all aspects. And in many cases, the criticism is that the weak person is also the female, which brings up another sensitive subject of BDSM and abuse survivors. Can/should an abuse survivor be into BDSM (but I have a feeling any answer won't be a good enough answer), or maybe the easier question should be: Have you written an emotionally/physically wounded character wanting to be in the lifestyle?

Shakir: Anyone who feels that the submissive in the relationship is the "weak one" might not want to be in the company of submissives, regardless of gender. It takes strength of will to be able to submit to another person, and I dare anyone to challenge me on the subject. There's nothing weak about submission, just as there's nothing abusive about dominance. Being a learned libertine and a lifestyle dominant in my own right, there's not many on the outside looking in that would want to get into that type of a debate of those merits.

In my Nubian Underworld series, the submissives of the House of Kemet-Ka are far from weak, and the submissives that are peppered throughout the series are very capable, very decisive human beings, with the ability to put you in your place, mentally and physically, should the occasion call for it. What I try to do with my series, and what other authors in the genre also try to do, is give a complexity and three-dimensional aspect to their characters. On the whole, I think we have all done a wonderful job, but of course, we're not going to please everyone.

To answer your initial question, I would say, honestly, that not everyone who has been a survivor of abuse should engage in an S&M or a D/s or M/s relationship. Yes, I have personally spoken to survivors who have explained to me that there is a catharsis that is involved that is hard for me to explain in their words, but they are able to somehow "rewire" their psyches, to a degree, to enjoy certain aspects of BDSM play. For example, I've seen rape survivors who have indulged in and enjoyed rape fantasy play, without any triggers from the actual incident getting in the way of the enjoyment of the scene.

To answer your other question, I have written an emotionally wounded character wanting to be in the lifestyle. Unfortunately for her, she became a cautionary tale of what happens when your relationship is not on solid ground and you pretend that it is, all because you want to be a part of a lifestyle. There are others that are able to overcome their shortcomings, and I am planning to create a character in the future who will embody that exact evolution.

Michelle: One reviewer called the movie "female escapist fantasy." But wouldn't you agree that it's not only women who read, write and enjoy BDSM stories?

Shakir: What, you mean men can't have escapist fantasies? LOL

There are a lot of men who read, write and enjoy BDSM stories, but since we're in the minority a lot of the time, if and when one of us breaks out and makes a few waves, it will feel like he's "ground-breaking," even if he's been out and publishing for years. I've personally been writing professionally for the past seven years, but since I don't write in a popular genre, well, that's partly the reason why readers think things have happened overnight for me. I put in work to make sure the books that I write are engrossing, sensual and erotic. I can't tell you how many times I'd been told that they were happy that my books weren't as "pornographic" as they thought they might be, basing their observations on previous male erotica authors who they were disappointed in reading.

I would also submit that men who read erotica are better in bed; they find some of the freakiest sex tips and tricks inside erotic literature, and they're more willing to try it out on their partner. (No, this isn't scientific fact, but, yeah, I'm just saying. LOL)

Michelle: Thank you, Shakir. This has been a great conversation.

Now I'm sure the hype, hysteria and happiness over Fifty Shades of Grey will continue beyond the 15 minutes of fame. When a national chain bookstore and publishing- and author-marketing themes have dedicated space for "books like Fifty Shades" or "books after Fifty Shades," or "because you read Fifty Shades," this book and movie, the subject of BDSM and the genre of erotica forever will be a part of history.

Find out more about Shakir and his books at www.shakirrashaan.com.

Michelle Monkou writes for Harlequin Kimani, Evernight Publishing and Boroughs Publishing. Her website is michellemonkou.com. You can also connect with her on Facebook.