Romance Unlaced: Interview with Eloisa James and excerpt

Eloisa James joined me for a chat about her new book, Four Nights With the Duke. It will be published on March 28.

MH: Please tell us about the new book.

EJ: My heroine, Mia, is a plump, funny wallflower with a secret career writing romances (in short, me in high school). She loathes Vander, the Duke of Pindar, because he humiliated her at age 15. But Fate steps in and she has no choice but to blackmail Vander into marriage.

What would you think if you were a gorgeous duke blackmailed into marriage by a woman who wrote you a love poem years ago? Vander considers his future duchess a Regency stalker. Furious, he swears he'll give Mia four nights a year, no more, no less.

She doesn't want any nights — though he doesn't understand that until he's desperate to talk her into five nights, or five years, or a lifetime.

MH: What are some of your favorite elements of this book?

EJ: It's got one of my favorite plots, a convenient marriage. And I love the historical aspect of Four Nights. There were many women romance novelists in the Regency period, but all we ever hear about is Jane Austen. Mia's books are bestsellers (and she, by the way, is totally obsessed by the novels of Miss Julia Quiplet).

MH: If you were to write a romance outside of the Georgian/Regency period(s), where would it be set? Have you ever seriously considered a book like that?

EJ: I might write something set in the present day someday. Yes, I have considered it!

MH: You have written quite a few novellas. What do you enjoy about that much shorter form? Are any of your novellas tied to your other books?

EJ: My novellas are all tied to novels, so Seduced by a Pirate, for example, is the story of the best friend of my pirate hero in The Ugly Duchess. Novellas are fun to write, because they offer a way to revisit a world and particularly a character whom readers love, without committing to another 350 pages.

MH: How long does it take you to write a novel? Is there a pattern to how stories develop in your head? Has either of these things changed over the course of your career?

EJ: They take me about a year. And sadly, I've got slower as the years go by. You'd think writing would get easier, but it doesn't. But I do love the writing process, even at its most frustrating. I generally think about a novel for up to six months before I start to write. So at any given time, I can have two to three novels that are in my head, but not on paper.

MH: What is your writing environment and schedule like?

EJ: I write wherever I am. This year I'm in London and I have a study, but most of the time I live in an apartment in New York, where my desk is in the living room. I would love to write 20 pages a day on a good day, but that never seems to happen. No rituals. No writer's block. I just don't have time because I have another job, as a professor teaching Shakespeare, and writing days are precious.

MH: You travel a lot, sometimes staying in a new place for months at a time. How does this affect your writing, if at all?

EJ: I think that travel makes my writing more rich. The novel I just finished is called My American Duchess, and the entire idea for the novel sprang out of a visit to a historical home in Bath, England. Living abroad and particularly, going to museums and walking the streets of London, keeps my imagination fresh and that helps my books immeasurably.

MH: Will your London sojourn be resulting in another memoir, the way your year in Paris did?

EJ: Nope! It was a lot of fun to write that memoir, but that is a unique and difficult type of writing. And frankly, my daughter is a teenager now, and writing about her wouldn't be nearly as much fun (though I am tempted, just as a gesture of solidarity to everyone raising a teenage girl).

MH: Does your family ever get involved in your stories? Do you vet characters' names with them, or brainstorm plot points?

EJ: Absolutely. Alessandro has heard and re-heard the plots of books since the very first one. And now Anna is a teenager, she's taken on a big role too. She always has strong ideas about what should happen (often influenced by Downton Abbey). I love brainstorming with her — so much better than trying to get her to clean her room.

MH: Will you share a favorite excerpt from your new book with our readers?

EJ: Of course.

(Readers, please go to the end of the interview to find the excerpt.)

MH: I heard you're giving out a free chapter to all readers who pre-order Four Nights . What's that about?

EJ: When I was writing Four Nights With the Duke, I had to cut a 10-page chapter featuring the hero and heroine from my previous book, Three Weeks With Lady X. Tragedy! It was such a wonderful, sexy chapter — but my editor thought (rightly) that it took too much attention from Mia and Vander.

So we will be sending it out in early April to every reader who pre-orders Four Nights. Here's the link to the pre-order registration page, and I hope you love the extra chapter!

MH: What is coming next, after this new release?

EJ: My American Duchess! It's a really fun and sexy story about a feisty American heiress who comes to London and ends up married to a duke. I can't say when it will be published, but probably the end of 2015 or early 2016.

EXCERPT (from Four Nights With the Duke)

Prologue

Spring, 1787

A Music Recital

The Duke of Villiers's townhouse

At fifteen, Emilia Gwendolyn Carrington already had a pretty good idea of what hell was like. Mia's governess had taught her all about Dante's nine infernal circles.

Mia's first circle had required her to make her debut at fifteen, under the aegis of a hired chaperone, because her mother was dead. Her second circle had added a far worse indignity: her charming, widowed father was conducting a flagrant affaire with a married duchess that everyone in the fashionable world knew about.

She had entered the third circle over the last year or so, when against all reason, she had fallen desperately in love with the same duchess' son, Vander. He was the most sensitive, intelligent boy in the world (or so Mia thought). And he was beautiful too, with a face that resembled the stone angels that guarded babies' graves.

The remaining circles of hell? All six?

They were revealing themselves in rapid succession. Mia had begged her father to attend the Villiers's musicale on the chance that the object of her adoration, Evander Septimus Brody, future Duke of Pindar, would be present. It seemed probable since the Duke of Villiers's eldest son, Tobias, was best mates with Vander.

As it turned out, the house was indeed overrun with boys on holiday from Eton and among the horde was Vander, who roundly ignored her. Mia didn't mind that: she was happy worshipping him from afar. He was too godlike for someone like her.

Besides, it wasn't as if he danced attendance on any other girl. He and the other Etonians spent their time swigging brandy although it was not yet noon, cursing loudly, and generally pretending to be far older than their fifteen years. Mia finally retreated to the library, a tranquil room with book-lined walls.

She was searching the shelves for anything resembling her favorite novel, Eliza Heywood's Love in Excess, when she heard, to her horror, the sound of boys approaching. Even worse, she quickly recognized the voices as those of Vander and his friend Tobias, who seemed to be calling himself Thorn these days.

The library was at the end of the corridor, so there was no escape.

Panicked, Mia dashed behind the sofa and slid down until she was entirely concealed. It was only then that she truly understood that she had entered that final, innermost circle of hell.

The boys were discussing a love poem.

Not just any love poem, either. They were puzzling over The Love Song of E. Septimus Brody—in other words, a poem addressed explicitly to Vander—that Mia herself had written. That she had poured her heart, her love, and her tears into.

It wasn't very good; none of her poems were very good.

Still, it was her poem, and it was supposed to be safely in her desk back home. Not being bandied about at a musicale. And definitely not in the hands of the very boy she'd written it about.

Even in the midst of a wave of nausea, Mia guessed what had happened. Her father had found the poem and thought it would be amusing to share with his mistress, and his mistress had in turn shared it with her son. Mia had been such a fool to give it that title.

At least Vander wasn't howling with laughter, probably because he couldn't understand it. He and Thorn were hardly literary types, if a fifteen-year-old boy could be such a thing.

"Do you suppose the part about how moonbeams kiss the sea is some sort of innuendo?" Thorn asked.

Mia rolled her eyes. What an absurd suggestion. He probably still moved his lips when he read.

"I don't think so," Vander answered, rather uncertainly. "Let's toss it in the fire. I don't want anyone to see it."

She had scarcely breathed a sigh of relief when there was a clatter of boots and a boy shouted, "I've been looking all over for you fellows. One of the Villiers twins just threw up from nerves. It stinks down there!"

"I can't imagine why you were looking for us, Rotter," Vander stated, sounding all of a sudden like a future duke. "We told you last week that we wanted nothing more to do with you."

"Bloody hell, no need to be nasty," the boy retorted, entirely unmoved by this set-down. "What have you got there?" To Mia's horror, the question was followed by the sound of a scuffle and tearing paper.

If Dante had conceived of a tenth circle of hell, this was it. Francis Oakenrott was a boy as rotten as his name implied. She had met him twice, at house parties her father dragged her along to. It was a case of mutual loathing-at-first-sight.

"A love poem," he shouted, clearly delighted. "Don't tell me that you've taken up with an opera dancer with a literary bent. The headmaster will have your guts for garters."

"Give me that," Vander snarled.

But Oakenrott apparently evaded capture. "Blazing hell, this is utter rubbish!" He broke into an escalating, barking laugh. Another thump followed. "Oh, for God's sake, back off and let me read it. It's too late to keep your little secret now. You'd think you were ashamed."

Mia pulled a sofa pillow over her face with a silent groan. She wanted to die, to fall into a crack in the floor.

"I am mad with love," Oakenrott recited, in a squeaky falsetto. "You know, I could see this on the stage. Have you been hanging about the back door of Drury Lane?"

"She's definitely cracked," Thorn said. "Who could fancy a smelly, sweaty bloke like you?"

"You're just jealous," Vander retorted. "She'd have to be barmy to look in your direction. Or Rotter's."

"So who's the madwoman?" Oakenrott said, paper rustling as he turned it over. "Emilia Carrington? You mean the daughter of your mother's—"

"Don't," Vander warned, his voice suddenly dangerous.

There was a telling moment of silence. "Right. I'll just go back to this literary masterpiece. No one understands my plight," he read, his voice squealing even higher. "I like this part about the moonbeam kissing the sea. Obviously, you have the moonbeam, and she's the sea." He went into another barking cascade of guffaws. A sob rose up Mia's chest, pressing so hard that pain shot through her breastbone.

"You're such an ass," Thorn said. "How old is that girl, anyway?"

"The same as me," Vander replied. "Fifteen."

"In my dreams, you married me," Oakenrott said, reading from the beginning of the next stanza. A tear slid down Mia's neck. "Your beauty makes me drunk."

Oakenrott hooted. Vander groaned.

She heard a hearty slap and then Thorn said, "Look at it this way, at least you've managed to charm a girl who knows a thing or two about brandy."

"Not as much as you do, after last night!" Vander retorted.

Likely they were all drunken sots. Mia's governess had told her that boys pretending to be men drank far too much.

Oakenrott was relentless; he just wouldn't shut up. "My room is full of moonlight, and your eyes are like pearls." Do you suppose you're being invited to take your pearly eyes into her moonlit room?"

"I'd have to grope my way," Vander said, and Mia could hear the laughter in his voice. "Nobody could see through pearly eyes."

Mia's lips involuntarily shaped a curse word that she would never dare say aloud.

Oakenrott whistled. "Pearls? You know what kind of pearls she's really talking about, right? Pearl drops! Pearly potions, like we used to call it back in first form. No—wasn't it pearly passion potions? Something like that. Anyway, this is the first poem I've ever read that talked about love custard!"

Suddenly all three boys were laughing hysterically.

"Love custard"? Mia hadn't the faintest idea what that meant, but she knew instinctively that it was something disgusting. Boys were disgusting by nature; she'd temporarily forgotten that while pining for Vander. When she thought he was god-like.

In reality he was a heartless pig.

"You haven't gotten under her skirts, have you?" Oakenrott sounded gleeful at the prospect. "Her father could take this line about being lost in your sweetness and pressure you to make an offer."

"Never!" Vander sounded so appalled that the word slid over Mia's skin like a snake. "It's a little odd to think that she's been lusting after me. What sort of fifteen-year-old girl thinks in these terms? Though I suppose she is her father's daughter."

Mia could hardly breathe because she was trying to sob without noise. He made her sound repulsive, saying that she was lusting after him. It wasn't like that. She wasn't like that.

"Have you ever noticed her staring at you from the side of the room?" Thorn asked. "Because here it says, Like the bird that gazes all night at the moon, I gaze at you."

"Like a bird, or a Bird of Paradise?" Oakenrott put in. "Maybe she can set herself up as a literary light-skirt. One sovereign for a poem and two for a you-know-what."

"All I can say is she's a God-awful poet," Vander said. "Even I know that poems are supposed to rhyme."

What an idiot. Mia took a shuddering breath. She had to escape. She simply could not stand any more of this.

"I think you should frame it," Thorn said, "because I can tell you right now that no one else will think you're pretty enough to rhapsodize about. Especially given the size of your moonbeam."

That brought on a scuffle and more laughter. At her expense. Mia could feel the air rattling in her throat. Likely it was the death rattle. Maybe she would die, and they'd find her body in this very spot.

"You know, I have to warn the fellows," Oakenrott said. "Some bloke might be chatting with her right now, having no idea what a jam tart she is."

Mia stiffened.

"If she's like that at fifteen, what'll she be like at twenty?"

"Don't even jest about it. You'd ruin her," Thorn said sharply. "You mustn't say a word."

"The poetry is evidence for the obvious," Oakenrott protested. "She's got a sluttish look about her. It's all there. Most girls that age have apple dumplings in front, but hers are more like cabbages than cherries!"

Cabbages? Cabbages?

Mia stifled another sob. There was silence for a second, just long enough so that Mia could imagine Vander standing up for her, like a knight in shining armor. Growling, Shut your mouth, Oakenrott. She does not look sluttish.

That didn't happen.

"There's no need to issue warnings," Vander said flatly. "There isn't a fellow in this house who would bother speaking to that dumpy little thing. The only reason she was invited was that my mother brought along her lover, who dragged along his daughter. She's a charity case, that's what she is."

A charity case. A dumpy one, at that.

She loathed him even more because he was right: she was dumpy. Other girls were tall and willowy, but she was "petite," which was just a pretentious way of saying that she was short.

And round. He meant she was fat.

He was a beast, a horrid beast.

Rage is a useful emotion. Rage burns away sorrow and disgrace. Rage propelled Mia to her feet, and she came out from around the sofa with her fists clenched.

Even knowing what he thought of her poem, despite her rage, the sight of Vander slammed into her. She had loved him too long to be unaffected by seeing him this close.

He was already tall and broad-shouldered. You could see the man he would someday be in the lineaments of his body and the strength of his jaw.

She looked at him up and down, curling her lip, and then gave his friends the same inspection.

Thorn looked horrified, and Oakenrott surprised, but Vander was utterly expressionless. All the things she'd thought she'd seen in him, every good characteristic that she had believed he had, the gentlemanly nature that seemed an antidote to her father's indiscretions ... well, she must have made those traits up. There was nothing readable in his face, and clearly she had seen whatever she longed to find.

"So," she said, thankfully discovering that her voice was steady. "Three boys whose imaginations are so disgusting that they can read lechery into a silly love poem." She snatched the crumpled page from Thorn's hand and tore it in half. The sound seemed very loud in the otherwise silent room. She tore it again, and again, and dropped the pieces on the floor.

"I may have made a fool of myself by falling in love," she told Vander, "but you have no right to ridicule me for it. Do you know that I was foolish enough to think you a gentleman, unlike—" She caught herself. Her father was her father, no matter his sins. "I should have known better," she added. "You say I am my father's daughter. Well, you, Lord Brody, are obviously your mother's son."

To her left, Thorn made a protesting movement but she swept him a glance and he shut his mouth.

Vander only stared at her. Why had she never noticed his beautiful eyes were hard and cold?

"I shall now take myself and my cabbages into the drawing room," she said, head high, though it took every ounce of willpower she could summon to hold it there. "If you would do me the courtesy to remain here for fifteen minutes, I shall find my father and be gone."

None of them said a word, the pestilent cowards.

One more thing occurred to her. "Moreover, I wouldn't marry a single one of you," she said, making her voice as scathing as she could, "even if I were desperate! Even if you were the only men left in all England!"

Chapter One

Thirteen years later

From the offices of Brandy, Bucknell & Bendal, Publishers August 27, 1800

Dear Miss Carrington,

I am writing to inquire about the prospect of receiving your new novel. As you know, we had hoped to receive the manuscript some six months ago. We are all most sympathetic as regards the tragic death of your father and brother a year ago. But I would be remiss not to tell you that letters begging for Miss Lucibella Delicosa's next novel are piling up in our offices. Your title, An Angel's Form and a Devil's Heart, has proved so enticing that subscriptions already exceed sales of your last two novels added together.

With deep respect, and anticipating a favorable reply, I remain,

William Bucknell, Esq.

P.S. I am including Miss Julia Quiplet's latest novel. I believe you said that you had not yet read her work, and we are persuaded that you will find it pleasurable.

* * *

September 4, 1800

Rutherford Park

The Duke of Pindar's country estate

Mia hated to admit it, but she was trembling like one of her own heroines. She generally put her poor ladies in Mortal Danger, standing at the brink of icy waters, for example, pursued by a lustful landlord, knees knocking pitiably and delicate hands shaking.

Her readers expected Mortal Danger. In capital letters.

She'd happily choose a plunge over a waterfall to the humiliation that lay ahead of her.

Her own less-than-delicate hands were trembling, so she curled them into fists, watching as her groom announced her name. Vander's butler—or, to be exact, the Duke of Pindar's butler—glanced down at her, patently surprised that a young lady had arrived without a chaperone.

Did intense humiliation count as Mortal Danger?

No, because if it were possible to die of humiliation, she would surely be dead by now. After all, she had survived the mortifying poetry incident in Villiers's library all those years ago, then she'd failed on the marriage market, only to go through an even worse humiliation: being jilted at the altar a month ago.

The truth was that as an author she was always kind to her characters. Mortal Danger never included jiltings. What's more, thanks to her heroines' thin, wispy bodies, they always floated safely downstream, too light to sink.

She had never forced any of her heroines to propose marriage, let alone to a duke.

Excerpt from Four Nights With a Duke: Eloisa James © 2015

Find out more about Eloisa and her books at www.eloisajames.com.

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Paste BN and New York Times bestseller Madeline Hunter is the two-time RITA-winning author of 25 historical romances. Her next release, His Wicked Reputation , will be published March 3. You can find her at www.MadelineHunter.com. To contact Madeline about content for or in this column, please e-mail her at RomanceUnlaced @ gmail.com (close up the spaces). Due to the volume of mail, e-mails from authors may not be answered personally, but all will be read.