Love and Lust rec: 'Out of the Blue' by RJ Jones
Out of the Blue by RJ Jones
What it's about (courtesy of the author):
When everything happens Out of the Blue…
Lt. Cameron Cooper has been with the San Francisco Fire Department for fifteen years. He's seen and dealt with a lot of horrifying situations. He's always considered himself mentally tough, but when he attends a multi-vehicle accident and sees a dead boy with features remarkably similar to his long-time boyfriend, his mental health takes a hit.
All Jake Montgomery wants is to propose to his boyfriend on their ten-year anniversary. He's already bought the perfect rings, but when Cameron struggles to look at him after a tragic accident, he has doubts about their future. Cam is withdrawing, and Jake doesn't know why.
With heated arguments and cold shoulders, Cam and Jake's life starts to fall apart. Just when Cam thinks he can overcome his issues and finally talk to Jake, memories from Jake's past threaten to push them apart forever.
Why you should read it: When PTSD strikes a member of the fire department, it can at first be a hidden problem, with neither the fireman nor his family, friends and co-workers initially recognizing what has happened. Lt. Cameron Cooper has been with the fire department for 15 years and his life partner, Jake, for 10 years. He has experienced just about every horror that a fireman can see until he is called out to a horrific multivictim car accident. He finds a mother and her young son dead in their crushed car, but it is the boy's eyes that haunt and send Cam over the edge of sanity.
Cam sees the boy's eyes as looking so much like his beloved Jake's eyes that he fears the same thing is going to happen to Jake, as if this were a premonition. Cam delays getting professional help and doesn't talk to Jake or anyone else about why he's suddenly behaving so unpredictably. Watching Cam and Jake's relationship unravel is like pulling the dangling end of a piece of yarn and watching a beautiful, carefully knit sweater untangle into a messy pile of thread. Jake can't help Cam because Cam won't let him, and Cam can't put their relationship back together because even he doesn't realize that what he's doing is so devastatingly harmful. He can't even look at Jake because Jake's eyes are the trigger for the PTSD episodes. Their friends are caught helplessly watching the train wreck happen, and the reader is heartbroken for everyone.
It is a slow dissolution that happens page by page by page. This is a case where telling the story from both POVs as well as seeing it from the perspectives of their friends is essential because the reader gets to know what Cam and Jake are each experiencing in order to understand what is really going on and not wind up blaming or hating either man. We get the 360-degree view of what is happening.
Months go by as Cam and Jake drift further apart, first fighting, then one of them moves out, despite the fact that before the accident Jake had bought wedding rings and planned to ask Cam to marry him. The catastrophe that is Cam's breakdown threatens not only their love but both men as individuals. If Cam and Jake really want to mend their bond, they may have to start all over, meeting as strangers, because that is what they are to each other now. Can they move on to dating and see if what they had is too corrupted to salvage? That will require both men wanting it. If only one of them is trying to put their shattered passion back together, it won't be enough.
RJ Jones can write emotion, sweet sex, angry sex, friendship, enemies, lovers and heartbreak with the best of authors. If anyone thinks that love that has endured for 10 years is permanent, think again. I can't recommend Out of the Blue highly enough. Bring the big box of tissues.
Becky Condit is a widow, mother of three and grandmother of 10 who reads all kinds of books, but her go-to comfort books are erotic romances. A romance novel coupled with just-out-of-the-oven chocolate-chip cookies and a glass of cold milk is her idea of heaven. She reads and reviews more than 250 books a year, so you won't often find her without her Kindle in hand, but when you do, she'll probably be gardening, doing needle crafts, working in her upholstery workshop and spending time with her family.