'NCIS' recap by Donna Kauffman: The awkward edition

We're on a roll coming off of the winter on-again/off-again schedule and given last week's previews, my guess is, the good times will be continuing this evening! So let's not waste any time, shall we?

We open with three ladies of the evening on a street corner discussing our planetary system. No, really. Man rolls up in a sedan, eyes the brunette Latina who goes over and gets in his car, ostensibly for a little work. Turns out the man was someone she was waiting for who was supposed to get her and her family to safety. She talks about how he doesn't know what "they" can do to people and he assures her he knows and that he's going to protect her and her family. Aaand, no sooner does he tell her that when another car rolls by and unleashes a fusillade of bullets into the sedan carrying our hooker and our wannabe savior. Apparently she was right, and him, not so much. Cue awesome opening credits and theme song!

We come back to the crime scene with McGee just finishing up talking with the other two call girls who don't reveal much other than the shooters were in a black SUV. McGee feels they know more but are too afraid to talk. Gibbs tells him to join up with Tony, who has just pulled up in a cab, to canvass the neighborhood. Turns out our Super Special Agent DiNozzo is heading to Atlantic City for some fun with his pals, but Gibbs pulled him in to help until his flight leaves.

Shift to Ducky and Jimmy entering the crime scene, as Ducky waxes professorial about the world's oldest profession, stating that man isn't the only mammal in the animal kingdom to practice the trade. (Penguins! Who knew?) See, you get fun entertainment and you learn new things! As Ducky talks to Bishop, we find out that our wannabe savior is a petty officer with the Navy, hence NCIS being on the case. Ducky says most of the bullets seemed to be aimed at the woman. Tim is feeling a bit insulted that Gibbs called in Tony, but as he tries to assure Gibbs that he and Bishop can handle things, Bishop steps in to inform them that there is no record of our petty officer Wannabe Savior in the Navy's database. Ooh, I love it when the plot thickens right away!

Back at the special agent bullpen of orangey goodness, Bishop is manning the Screen of All Knowing and telling the team that Abby has checked the petty officer's ID and if it's a fake, she can't tell the difference. No hits on his prints in the system either. His vehicle is listed with the Navy, but the system shows it's still in the lot at the DOD, not sitting, all shot up, at a crime scene. Tony suggests they check the DOD's motor pool's exit log and Tim immediately jumps in to show he can handle that. Oh, Timmy. Stop being so sensitive. We go on to learn that the dead hooker had just returned from a two-day excursion to Colombia the night before her murder. She has two arrests for prostitution and word was she'd had a falling out with her pimp. Tony hints heavily about plane travel and Gibbs excuses him to head to the airport for his flight to Atlantic City. (Show of hands. How many folks think he'll make it to NJ? Yep. Me, neither.)

We're proved right swiftly as Tim accesses the database — and makes sure Gibbs knows he had to use his super geeky cyberskills to do it — and finds out the car was requisitioned to an operation called, well, I'm not going to attempt Latin here, but the phrase translated means eye-for-an-eye or retaliation. On hearing the phrase, Tony immediately turns back, dumps his jacket and sunglasses (which looked damn fine on him, by the way) and he and Gibbs go straight up to MTAC. McGee and Bishop don't know what that's all about, but follow along so we can all find out together. Unfortunately for McGee and Bishop, they're locked out of MTAC. Fortunately for us, we get ushered right inside. We're so special like that.

After being forced to wait through a long commercial break, we come back to find a vice admiral on the MTAC screen disavowing any knowledge of ongoing activity for that operation, which happens to be an NCIS op. Director Vance wants to know why a car has been requisitioned for that op and they don't know about it. She is in charge of the op, but reminds them how compartmentalized it is. Gibbs expresses his frustration, but what she doesn't know, she doesn't know, so she tries to talk them through what happened. They bring her up to speed on what we already know. She tells them to do whatever they must to figure out who this guy is and she will do the same on her end. She confirms this has been a long, ongoing investigation and instructs them to bring in the rest of his team on the op.

We move to Leon's office where McGee and Bishop are concluding watching videotape of a bombing at the Metropolitan Airport (aka the fictional Reagan National) back in 1979, when someone detonated a bomb in the departure terminal. Close to a hundred people were injured or killed, and the perpetrator was never identified or caught. Vance informs them that after a long cold spell, two years ago, they recovered an undetonated bomb in Colombia that was similar to the one used in the airport bombing. DNA testing on the components confirmed that both were made by the same person.

McGee wants to know why Tony has been read in on the op and he hasn't. Vance explains that a special classified task force was set up by the vice admiral and handed to Gibbs given his experience in Colombia. McGee whines a bit more about Tony getting read in and not him, and Tony explains that McGee wasn't yet on the team at the time, that Ziva was, prompting him to whine that she and Tony knew, but not him. Sometimes he can be so tedious. Vance concurs and reminds him that his ego is not the point of the meeting. Heh. Vance goes on to inform us that in the past six months, they finally narrowed the suspect pool down to a man who was a Colombian rebel back then and is now one of the top drug kingpins in Colombia. Bishop wants to know how they connected him and Tony slides a huge stack of folders her way, telling her it's a long story, read up. Vance says they've been trying to get a DNA sample from the guy to confirm their suspicions, but it's been an impossible get. Until now, with the car shooting, and a dead petty officer who was somehow on the case. He instructs them to dig into the shooting and see if there isn't a connection or something that will give them the lead they need.

We shift to the Abby Lab Garage where she is processing the shot-up car as Gibbs comes in. She emerges from the car, all smiles, but we soon learn the glow is actually a bit green with a tinge of really angry red as she is not at all happy to have just now been read in on the case, where she learned that Gibbs had to have been using someone else to process all the DNA up to that point, seeing as she knew nothing about it until that day. "You cheated on me, Gibbs." Aw, Abs. He explains that all the evidence was in the southwest field office at the time and would have gone through too many hands to get it up to her. She's all sheepish, "Oh. Makes sense. Awkward." And we move on. She tells Gibbs she found fingerprints that pinged on a pimp who has been arrested for pimping more times than she's said pimping, then she adds another half-dozen pimpings, and proclaims them even. Heh. Bishop pings in on her screen letting her know the vice admiral needs to see Gibbs. Abs gets a buss on her cheek from Gibbs (aw, how cute are they always?), then he heads out, stage rear elevator.

We move to MTAC with Gibbs. Vice Admiral is on one screen and the U.S. ambassador to Colombia is on the other. They have identified the dead petty officer. His real name is Lt. Louis Freston, a special intelligence agent, recently assigned to the case. He'd established the tie to the prostitute as her family in Colombia had news of our Big Bad. They knew where he got his hair cut. Gibbs says connections like that come through all the time but never pan out. Vice Admiral tells him this one did. Our call girl was bringing our intelligence agent a hair sample she obtained on her trip home to Colombia. DNA in a baggie, as it were. She was supposed to give him the sample the night they were shot. Gibbs says they didn't find any hair samples at the crime scene. They explain it was sewn into the lining of her purse and he says no purse at the scene either. McGee steps in to tell him that the store owner across the street has video of the murder and it shows the pimp stealing her purse from the car. Admiral tells Gibbs he has 12 hours to bring the pimp in, that they've gotten word on a possible meeting the Big Bad is attending, which will be their one chance to nab him, but they need the proof he was the bomber in hand before they can do that. "It's payback time," Admiral says. Fade to black and white.

We come back to McGee still being whiny as he heads off to put a BOLO out on the pimp. Sheesh, Timmy, they read you in. Put your big-boy super-agent pants on and get a grip. Back in MTAC we check in with Ducky. Bishop is there with Ducky and shows the team a picture of a tattoo that was on the hooker's backside. Apparently our lovely pimp liked to brand his chattel. Someone had apparently tried to scrape it off. Ow. Bishop tracked the tattoo to the parlor that did it and Gibbs sends Tony out with McGee to track down what they can find there. Oh boy. And yep, Tony tells McGee to just get it off his chest, then more or less shuts him down when he does. Heh. They enter the tattoo parlor and wonder why it smells like a cat's litter box, then call out for the tattoo guy, who shouts back he has a bleeder and will be right out. Wow. Good thing I wasn't snacking. McGee and Tony continue to bicker over the whole "who got read in first" thing, but start to make up, when out strolls our tattoo guy, who also happens to be our pimp.

We shift back to HQ where our tattoo artist pimp is being hauled into interrogation and Tony is taking the purse he found in Pimp's trunk, complete with DNA tube sewn into the lining, down to Abby. Of course, we're barely past the halfway mark of the show, so we know this won't be the end. In MTAC Vance and Gibbs are communicating with the SEAL team who will go in and nab the Big Bad, just as soon as Abby gets the DNA confirmation. The team commander lost his father in the airport explosion and requested lead on the assignment, wanting to be the one to deliver payback when the time comes. "And I know exactly how he feels," Vance adds.

In interrogation, Pimp tries to be all Big Bad, but Gibbs is the one in there with him, so you know that won't play. He dismantles the guy in under five. Pimp was the one who killed the hooker, because she came back from Colombia and told him she wasn't going to work for him any longer, then he caught her on his turf, working. He took the purse because he figured any money she earned was his — lovely fellow — but Abby interrupts to let Gibbs know the DNA was a match. Big Bad is their guy.

We go straight to MTAC and the SEAL team in Cartagena, via big screen. (Am I the only one who sees the word Cartagena and immediately thinks of Romancing the Stone? Just me?) So, the SEAL team goes in … and the building is empty. They see it was emptied in a hurry, which means Big Bad must still be close by. They found a laptop, but it's encrypted and it's taking time to hack it, so Gibbs is sending Abby and McGee to meet up with the SEAL team command. Before leaving, Abby tells Gibbs she found a familial match with the DNA, which turns out to be Big Bad's niece, living conveniently right in Baltimore.

She's a doctor, born in the U.S. Her father was Big Bad's brother. Her parents were killed when she was 7, and for all they know, has no idea who her uncle is. No contact that they can dig up. They want to go straight to her computer and have a warrant, but are afraid if they go in strong, they'll get bad intel or no intel. Gibbs points to the Screen of All Knowing, where it shows the good doctor is conducting a parenting clinic that very night. That is their way in. Finally, we're at the amusing part of the episode we got clips of last week! Tony and Bishop go in as the expectant couple. It's moments like these that I really miss Ziva. Could you imagine that scenario with her and Tony as the players? I know. Wah wah. Anyway, Bishop plans to excuse herself for the bathroom at some point, sneak into the doctor's office and mirror her hard drive onto a handy little thumb drive that Bishop has brought along.

They enter a candlelit room with rugs and blankets and pillows on the floor, clearly not a parenting class. Turns out there was a mix-up on the website. It's a couple's intimacy class. Now I'm really missing Ziva! Back in MTAC where they are watching the whole op, Vance is all half-amused and "well, this should be interesting," while Gibbs sighs and rolls his eyes. Tony swiftly shifts their cover and explains to his fake wife that he knew it was a couple's class and was hoping she wasn't mad at him. The doctor urges them to find a pillow and get comfy. Bishop tries the end run to the bathroom, but the good doc is having none of that. She tells Bishop to "be here" and sit down, and take Tony's hands and look into his eyes. The op camera is on her glasses, so the MTAC audience is also looking deep into Tony's eyes, too. Gibbs is all, "Oh jeez, I can't watch this." HA! All the rest of the couples are snapping their fingers in some odd solidarity clicking thing. Bishop looks at the doc, wants to know what's next, but she's all, "Don't break eye contact." Oh boy. Back in MTAC, a smiling Vance says, "He's going to file for hazard pay." Right?

Meanwhile, McGee and Abby land out on the aircraft carrier, a thrill for our Abs. The SEAL team leader greets them and sends them down to the petty officer who is working on the laptop. As they enter, he's all "Hey, I didn't need you, I did it on my own, so get back on your plane and …" He stutters to a halt when he lays eyes on Abby. Turns out, he knows who she is, as she dated his roommate's brother's best friend 11 years earlier. She's a little nonplussed by this, but smiles through it. Then McGee keys in on the 11 years ago part, as this is when he was seeing Abby, waaaay back in the day. Turns out, the guy was the barista at a coffee place they frequented. Abby is all awkward, as, naturally, McGee can't let it go. The petty officer is smiling smugly at McGee, all, "So, you got dogged by a barista?" Heh. The P.O. tells them he didn't find anything on the laptop other than the info on the meeting the SEAL team already crashed, but Abby and McGee ask to look to see if they find anything else.

Meantime, back at HQ, Tony and Bishop are back from their couple's class. Bishop wants to know who is going to brief Gibbs. Tony says he needs a moment, that the class made him realize he might have intimacy issues. "Well, tonight, I was thankful for them," says Bishop as she heads off to see Gibbs. I like the Big Bad, SEAL team, action Jackson stuff, don't get me wrong, but it's these moments right here that keep me coming back. Up in MTAC, McGee and Abby told the SEAL team leader they need a couple hours and Bishop comes in to tell Gibbs that she mirrored the doctor's hard drive, but that the doc has years' worth of stuff on there that could take weeks to wade through. Weeks they don't have, reminds Gibbs. SEAL commander is worried that if Big Bad realizes a SEAL team raided his compound, he could go under and they'll never find him again, so this is their one and only chance. Tony pops in to MTAC to say he's found Big Bad. Where? Well, turns out he's right there in HQ. Wha?

Gibbs exits MTAC as Big Bad, all well groomed in suit jacket and slacks, tops the stairs, escorted by a few other agents. Gibbs' expression says it all. This is the guy they have confirmed set off that airport bomb. Steely-eyed, Big Bad tells an equally steely-eyed Gibbs his name, and, oh yeah, that he's seeking asylum in the United States. Wow. So that's tricky.

Back from commercial, Big Bad is in interrogation alone as Gibbs, Tony and Bishop look on through the glass. Bishop has informed the State Department of his asylum request and Tony is wondering what Big Bad's game is, commenting on Big Bad's big, um, nerve, in coming in as he has. Gibbs and Tony go in to find out what's what. Big Bad claims he is a freedom fighter who sells drugs to fund his cause and that his own government imprisoned him for years because he stood up to them. Gibbs tells him now he can be imprisoned in the U.S. for being a murderer and a drug dealer. Big Bad claims he's being set up, that he had nothing to do with the airport bomb. He knew they were trying to get his DNA but didn't know why. He learned about it from the undercover agent who was killed with the hooker. She came to Colombia to ask Big Bad to protect her and her family and now he's in the U.S. to protect his family. He knew coming in as he did was the only way to keep the U.S. from coming in, guns blazing, without finding out the real truth first. He gives Gibbs a sample of his beard, tells him to check it, and he'll see he's telling the truth about the airport bomb. He tells Gibbs that whoever did bomb that airport is playing him. "Like a fiddle."

We switch to Abby Lab where Ducky and Jimmy are doing the DNA test via Abby's "Abby Lab for Dummies" handwritten guide. Jimmy tries to wrangle the test from Ducky, leading to a classic Ducky smack-down, in only the calm, smooth way that Ducky can. Back in MTAC, Vance lets the ambassador know they have Big Bad and about his asylum request and claim that he's being framed. Gibbs comes in and confirms that Big Bad wasn't lying, and that he isn't, in fact, Big Bad. At least not the one they are looking for. Abby comes in on the SEAL team screen on the aircraft carrier to let Gibbs and company know that they found a bug buried in Not Big Bad's computer that allowed someone to spy on his activities for the past few weeks. She traced it back and, uh, it turns out it comes from an IP address assigned to none other than our Colombian ambassador. Who looks a little deer in headlights on the opposing screen, all of a sudden. Vance demands to know why she didn't tell them she had access direct to Not Big Bad for weeks and suddenly she's all, "oh, we're losing signal," and the screen goes blank. Vance and Gibbs spring into action to have her taken into custody before she can slip away.

She turns herself in and is in interrogation wanting to talk to Gibbs, who has a like interest, so win-win. Tony is on the other side of the glass. She immediately says she wants a deal and Gibbs is all, "Oh, I bet you do." She reminds him he's running out of time, then tells him without a deal, she says nothing. He tells her they will never give her a deal, and she's aiding a terrorist. He tells her to talk, and he'll see what he can do. Turns out, decades previously, she took money for pushing a favorable drug policy, so the real Big Bad held that over her head, along with the threat that he'd kill her entire family, if she didn't help him. So she used access to the bug to set up Not Big Bad, only he managed to get away before it happened. Gibbs demands to know if our now broken and tearful ambassador is going to give him a name. She nods.

Next we are back in the bullpen of orangey goodness as Tony, Bishop and Gibbs observe live footage of a drone strike and a demolished building in Colombia, where the real Big Bad was holed up. Vance comes in and proclaims, "We got him!" Applause rings out and Tony and Bishop click their fingers. Heh. Abby and McGee exit the elevator into HQ as she clarifies about there being a little dating overlap with McGee and the barista at the beginning of their attempt at a relationship. SEAL commander comes in behind them to thank both Vance and Gibbs personally for seeing through the mission and helping to get the guy who killed his father and the relatives of so many others. Vance assures him they didn't forget about the families left behind, and then leaves for the press conference with the president, as Gibbs turns back to observe his own family, all grouped together, celebrating the success of another mission. Fade to black and white.

Has this been a great season or what? Let's keep the good vibes going for another paragraph or two, shall we? Last week I put a signed, advance copy of my May 26 release, Sea Glass Sunrise, up for grabs, along with a matching Sea Glass Sunrise canvas tote. It's great to know there are so many folks who love their canvas tote bags as much as I do! Thanks for the enthusiasm for the upcoming release, too. Who gets their hands on it before everyone else? Why, Ross Hockenberry does! Ross, drop me an e-mail to dmkauffman1@gmail.com and I'll get your prize package right out to you.

Now, I know you're all jealous of Ross, and honestly, of course you are. But don't be a hater, be a joiner! As in joining in this week's hot new giveaway! Sea Glass Sunrise kicks off a new miniseries set in my fictional burg of Blueberry Cove, Maine, but there was another three-book series that started the whole Maine love affair. So, for those who haven't had the chance to catch up yet, now's your chance to fill in the gaps! Drop me an e-mail to dmkauffman1@gmail.com and let me know which title you'd like: Pelican Point, Half Moon Harbor or Sandpiper Island. I'll name the three winners right here in next week's recap! (Senior is back in next week's episode!)

And please feel free to include all the NCIS dish you'd like. Love hearing your comments, thoughts and wide-ranging opinions. Even when you don't agree with me, which, of course, means you're wrong, but then, hey, we can't all be right all of the time. Not even me. But only when I say so. Kidding! I appreciate you pointing out when I goof or miss something. That's how we grow. Then pop on over to my Facebook Fan Page for all the day-to-day jocularity and chances to win more cool free stuff. Because I give and I give. I'm a giver. See you there!