Heidi Cullinan: Writing disability, visible and invisible

Heidi Cullinan, author of Carry the Ocean (out today!), book one in the Roosevelt series, finds inspiration in an autistic character on TV.

Heidi: The germ of Carry the Ocean came from the television show Alphas. I was in love with Gary Bell, the Alpha whose super-ability was reading electromagnetic radiation/wavelengths. Gary also had autism. During one episode of Alphas, Gary met another autistic Alpha he hoped would be his girlfriend — and she reciprocated his affections. I thought, now, that would be a book.

Immediately, Emmet Washington popped into my head and began talking.

I love writing unconventional heroes and people with extreme baggage or disadvantage, but Emmet, my confident, sassy young man with autism was something entirely new. Writing through his lens made me see the world differently. Walking through a story world with Emmet as my camera taught me so much about perspective. Saying he had a disability became a point of view. For him, the world was one way.

Jeremey Samson, has a disability as well: severe clinical depression and anxiety. In many ways, Jeremey is much more limited in ability than Emmet, but because he appears able-bodied, he actually has a harder time because the expectations from the world are greater for him than Emmet, even though Emmet is far more capable. Jeremey's struggles were entirely invisible until they got the better of him, at which point they spilled over into his life in an uncontrolled wave, which in turn caused him more stress. A secondary character, David Loris, is a C4 incomplete quadriplegic due to a car accident a few years ago. He and Jeremey bond because they're such polar opposites. David's disability is entirely exterior, but in his mind he's still the young man he was before the accident. Because his physical condition is so stark, however, he's treated differently.

Writing all three of these young men taught me we all have limitations, and for us, they are everything. The world asks us to behave as if there is some universal standard we can fit into. Which is ridiculous. No one, absolutely no one is "normal." Everyone has a moment on the mean, but no one lives there. More often than not we're the outsiders pressing our faces to the glass, wishing we could belong with "everybody else."

Writing Carry the Ocean taught me to be more aware of other people's limitations, but it also reminded me to look for the strengths those limitations bring. It taught me that unconventional can mean distinctly beautiful. That perspective changes everything.

Here's to disability, seen and unseen. Whatever oceans we carry, may we all find the way to grace and wonder and happily ever after.

About Carry the Ocean:

The Roosevelt, Book 1

Normal is just a setting on the dryer.

High school graduate Jeremey Samson is looking forward to burying his head under the covers and sleeping until it's time to leave for college. Then a tornado named Emmet Washington enters his life. The double major in math and computer science is handsome, forward, wicked smart, interested in dating Jeremey—and he's autistic.

But Jeremey doesn't judge him for that. He's too busy judging himself, as are his parents, who don't believe in things like clinical depression. When his untreated illness reaches a critical breaking point, Emmet is the white knight who rescues him and brings him along as a roommate to The Roosevelt, a quirky new assisted living facility nearby.

As Jeremey finds his feet at The Roosevelt, Emmet slowly begins to believe he can be loved for the man he is behind the autism. But before he can trust enough to fall head over heels, he must trust his own conviction that friendship is a healing force, and love can overcome any obstacle.

Warning: Contains characters obsessed with trains and counting, positive representations of autism and mental illness, a very dark moment, and Elwood Blues.

Find out more about Heidi and her books at www.heidicullinan.com.