8 ways Almack's of Regency times is like a junior high dance

Jenny Holiday, author of The Miss Mirren Mission in her Regency Reformers series, compares the popular social club of Regency historicals with junior high dances.

Jenny: How much have romantic hunting grounds changed over the years? Maybe less than you might think. Herewith, eight things the legendary Almack's, that beloved setting of so many Regency romance novels, has in common with another iconic romantic spot — the junior high cafeteria on Friday night.

There are chaperones watching your every move.

At Almack's it's the patronesses making sure you don't waltz with the same gentleman twice. In seventh grade, it's your gym teacher, who probably didn't even bother to change out of his track suit.

The lighting makes you look awesome.

At Almack's it's candlelight; in junior high it's a disco ball that somehow makes the cafeteria look like a magical fairy land and your zits disappear.

You're wildly attracted to the boy your parents are going to hate.

That duke who used to captain a pirate ship is not endearing himself to your mother. Neither is the leather-jacket-wearing kid who already has facial hair at age 12.

The food sucks.

Are you a fan of dry bread and cake? What about Doritos? Better to eat first.

Wallflowers rule.

Everyone knows the best ladies are the ones sitting around with empty dance cards. You'll find their junior high counterparts hiding in the bathroom when that slow song from Top Gun comes on.

You might get the cut direct.

If you've wrangled a voucher from the patronesses of Almack's, it means you're of good birth. But you still have to watch your back. And if you're an eighth-grader who managed to get on the wrong side of the queen bee and her clique? You're toast, and in addition to the silent treatment, you're likely to find yourself unfriended and unfollowed.

Scandalous dances are being introduced.

The waltz. Twerking. Either way, what do you think you're doing, young lady?

It's hard to get drunk.

Tea and lemonade are on offer at Almack's, and that's arguably better than the flat Coke and watery punch being doled out in the junior high cafeteria. But in both cases, the lesson is BYOB, people. Just be subtle about it.

Here's the blurb about The Miss Mirren Mission (courtesy of Entangled):

Loving her would be his downfall...

To society, the Earl of Blackstone cuts a mysterious figure. He is eligible, withdrawn, and endlessly fascinating. Yet as an integral part of London's underground spy ring intent on defeating Napoleon, Blackstone has no mistress but the cause.

Miss Emily Mirren is considered "unbiddable" by the ton. She wields a fierce intellect, which she channels into her own secret cause-writing an abolitionist newspaper column under a male pseudonym.

When Emily's aims clash with Blackstone's, they stray into a dangerous game of attraction and subterfuge, and secrets are the going currency. And in order to complete the most important mission of his career, Blackstone must thwart Emily, even if it breaks both their hearts.

Find out more about Jenny and her books at jennyholiday.com.