Claudia Burgoa on falling in love with your best friend

Claudia Burgoa, author of Unlike Any Other, explores the concept of falling in love with your best friend.

Claudia: There are two kinds of realizations one can have in a romantic relationship: when you realize you are truly, madly and wholly in love with another human being and when you realize you've found your best friend. Sometimes the order gets flipped around. When Harry Met Sally convinced the populace that opposite-sex friends fall in love — all the time. It, along with a flurry of others, carried the torch of older movies like Pillow Talk that told women, "Well, if you'd just get your face out of your ass you'd see that love was right under your nose this entire time." There's something cathartic about yelling at a screen for two-plus hours that the fictional characters you're watching are complete idiots — it's why most people keep watching horror films.

I used to hate wedding vows where the bride would refer to her groom as her best friend. It seemed contrived and overdone. Worst of all, wasn't the point of writing your own vows that they be original? Romantic comedies convinced me that every girl fell in love with her male best friend. Life taught me that men more often than not gave women a second glance only if they were "the one." How did they figure it out? I would ask myself for years. Do men just have magical radars for potential mates and is that why their faces are so damn hard to read?

It didn't make sense, it still doesn't make sense. If I were to put my money on it, love is a fluke of circumstance and sheer human will. People don't want to be in love, no one wants to be in love. Some people think they would like to experience the type of love they see in movies. But love in its purest form … kind of sucks.

Don't get me wrong, there's something wonderful about finding another human being who makes the lonely little kid inside of you feel like you've finally arrived. But for all the highs and the moments of sheer awe that catch you off guard there are a million more ordinary moments. There are the annoying habits they have — the annoying habits you have that only seem to come up when you're winning an argument. Learning to admit that loving another human being doesn't mean you have a yes-person who swoons at everything you do. You have a living, breathing person attached to you — they fill a void that you ignored for so long you almost didn't notice it anymore. They're the inhale you forgot to take. The thing that makes your nighttime fantasies and days overlay strand by strand, blending into one until you've stopped trying to distinguish between them. They make life beautiful because of them — and in spite of themselves.

Which is why their absence, their suffering, their final goodbyes or even just the thought of these things is as painful as a few broken ribs. That's why no one wants to fall in love — it hurts and it's utterly involuntary. You lose control and that's something no person willingly submits to. You can't guarantee that your first love will be your last, or a string of half-loves to come — but wouldn't it be nice if you were in love with your best friend? What if your other half was really another entity that understood the topsy-turvy jungle that is autonomy the way you do? I'm not saying that all friends turn into lovers or lovers turn into friends. But sometimes, when the timing is right two people will realize that they have found another human being that they can venture into the unknown with bravely and fearlessly … and then fall in love ... or the other way around. Your best friend is truly your soul mate, and if you're lucky — you'll fall in love with yours. I still hate wedding vows with a burning passion, but I get what they mean now. There are women who are so devoted to another person that they parade themselves in front of everyone they know to say, "That's right, I'm me and I'm with this guy. You have a problem with it you can just suck it." Isn't that grand?

Here's the blurb about Unlike Any Other:

AJ

The name AJ Colthurst may not have any meaning to the public eye, but it should, as I'm the daughter of two famous celebrities. Like any superstar, they crave privacy; so much of it, they built a house in the middle of nowhere for us children. As we grew older, we discovered the lies they built as a fort to protect us from the media, ended up causing emotional damage along the way.

I carry a portion of the guilt on my shoulders; the other part I discovered is the separation of my parents. Their unorthodox ways may have driven me bonkers, but knowing they are no longer together is unacceptable.

That's why I decided to rattle their cage by reminding at least one of my parents of the past and the reason they belong together. They need to remember why their love is so perfect and why they have to fight to keep it alive. Even if it means I have to dredge up some of my own painful memories along the way.

Gabe

Back in the early eighties, I set myself to succeed in the financial world. The first step had been moving to New York City to become a stockbroker, but things didn't work out the way I had hoped. Instead, I ended up making movies and by the end of the decade, Gabe Colt had become a famous name. The downside to my career of choice: the paparazzi. In order to protect my family and our privacy, I maintained my family away from the circus. It had been for their own good; a decision we had made before we started our family.

However, those past decisions ended up chasing my entire family away and now I'm trying to put the pieces back together along with my little girl.

Note: This book may contain high levels of testosterone. A Hot Actor, Hot musicians and A Hottie who believes he's a hero.

Find out more about Claudia and her books at www.claudiayburgoa.com.