Order up: Krabby Patties, Apollo Bars and other fictional foods we wish were real
Somehow food that isn't attainable always seems like it could taste better than food you can actually get your hands on.
We have no logical explanation for why we'd want to try frozen yogurt at one of the many shops in "The Good Place" or bread from a fictional land in "Lord of the Rings," but we do. And forget an In N' Out burger, someone find me a Krabby Patty!
We've compiled a list of what we assume would be our favorite fictional food items if they were real. If anyone ends up creating any of these, please send them to us first.
Krabby Patty
How an underwater burger joint could possibly make not-soggy burgers is beyond me, but I can't tell you how many times I've randomly craved a Krabby Patty without a mention of Spongebob in sight. Get us Mr. Krabs' secret formula because we need to recreate this burger in real life. Plankton? You there, bud?
Bob's Burgers
Literally any one of Bob's burgers of the day will do.
The patriarch of the Belcher family is known for creating punny spins on the classic burger from The Silentil Night Burger to the Eggers Can't Be Cheesers Burger and honestly, I'm willing to try all of them.
Butterbeer
OK, so there's actually a real-life version of Butterbeer that can be found at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter amusement park in Florida, but I refuse to believe it tastes like what J.K. Rowling intended, which is "a bit like less sickly butterscotch."
My sources at Paste BN tell me "It's reaaaally good," but until I can get Ron Weasley himself to confirm that this in fact is what Butterbeer tastes like, I'm good.
The naco
Just because Kim Possible isn't on the Disney Channel anymore, doesn't mean we've forgotten about the glorious naco.
To no one's surprise, it was created by Ron Stoppable at Bueno Nacho when he combined nachos, cheese and taco fillings and put it in a tortilla. It was genius then and it's genius now and we want it.
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory
Give us anything from that man's factory, we'll try it all. Not necessarily because it sounds appetizing (the thought of lickable wallpaper makes my mouth dry), but simply out of curiosity.
After all, who wouldn't want to spend a day in the Edible Garden where everything is "eatable"?
Frozen yogurt in 'The Good Place'
We thought "The Good Place" was set in heaven when they introduced unlimited frozen yogurt flavors. UNLIMITED. FROZEN. YOGURT. FLAVORS.
Trendy fro yo stores have seemingly extensive yogurt flavors like horchata and hibiscus pear tart. But have you ever tried the Cancelled Plans and Stardust flavors?
What do cancelled plans even taste like?!?!
Squishee
So we know a Kwik-E-Mart Squishee could basically be substituted for a Slurpee from 7-Eleven, but our cravings are still not satisfied.
In one episode, Bart and Milhouse order a super squishee that makes them "go crazy Broadway style" and we'd like to do the same.
Monica's Candy
In an effort to get the neighbors to like her, Monica from "Friends" made some candy and placed it outside her apartment door so passersby could grab some. The candy was such a hit that the neighbors started hanging around her door demanding more candy.
One neighbor came to Monica and Chandler's apartment at 4 a.m. and said they tasted like "little drops of heaven."
Any candy that makes people that obsessive is something I'd like to try.
Apollo Bar
ABC created a real life Apollo Bar, but we're not convinced.
The Apollo candy bar, which originated on the series "Lost," has also made it on to other shows like "Once Upon a Time" and "Brooklyn 99" as well as others. Frankly, any fictional food that's transcended time fairy tales and deserted islands is one we'd like to try.
Lembas
Do we need any other reason to want to try Lembas other than it's bread we haven't been able to try yet?
In "The Fellowship of the Ring," this is written about Lembas bread:
"For these things are given to serve you when all else fails. The cakes will keep sweet for many many days, if they are unbroken and left in their leaf-wrappings, as we have brought them. One will keep a traveler on his feet for a day of long labour, even if he be one of the tall Men of Minas Tirith."
These sound like what Cliff bars set out to be, but tastier and more magical.