Staying Apart, Together: COVID doesn't have a Hollywood ending (or beginning, or middle)

As you read this I am (hopefully) carrying boxes over the threshold into my very first house. 

It's been months in the making to buy this house in particular (this is hopefully the last newsletter I will write from my in-laws' guest bedroom), and years in my journey to become a homeowner. My husband and I worked so hard for this moment, from all the fun events and purchases we skipped to save money to all the plumbers I called to get an estimate for repairs. I am so grateful and relieved. 

But my happiness comes as the dreaded winter surge of the COVID-19 pandemic is raging across the country. I am so worried about friends and family, about people I don't know, about the fatigue we all feel at masking up and staying away from our loved ones. I'm afraid I'll get sick, or worse, I will get someone else sick. 

These contradictory feelings have come to define 2020. Trying to live in this new reality means being happy when others aren't and vice versa. It would be so neat and clean, and Hollywood-ready, if I could step into my future life in a new house with my husband and at the same time we can have parties, meet our community and relax a little. Unfortunately that's not what we have. 

If you are struggling right now, I am still here for you. If you are doing well, I'm ecstatically happy for you. If you're somewhere in the middle, may I suggest you scroll straight down to the pet photo for a quick smile? 

Thank you for all your support. I can't wait to write to you from my first real home since I left for college. 

Today's Zoomsgiving tips

To anyone poo-pooing the idea of a Thanksgiving over Zoom, I'd like to tell you that my older sister, who lives in London, has been video chatting into Thanksgiving, Christmas and other holidays for the past decade that she's lived abroad. It's never perfect, but it's always nice to see her face on a day when I wish I could hug her. 

So for those of us preparing virtual Thanksgiving celebrations, first try to de-stress and relax. Make it as informal as you need. And here are a few other tips from experts on the subject:

• Take note of the view. Often Thanksgiving tables are arranged around a centerpiece: turkeys, floral arrangements or candles. But instead try arranging around a laptop or tablet at one end. Think about the backdrop you want to show. 
• Feed your distant guests. If you want to celebrate with family who might be unable to cook for themselves, think about how to get Thanksgiving food to their home. Either dropping food off or ordering a dinner from a restaurant or meal service. 
• Coordinate your menus. Choose specific recipes, and at least everyone can be eating the same roasted Brussels sprouts and scalloped sweet potatoes. Let everyone contribute a favorite recipe, perhaps. Then, when someone on the Zoom screen says, "Wow, this is the best green bean casserole ever," you can heartily agree from your side of the internet.

Read our full story about all things Zoomsgiving here. 

Today's inspiration

You had to know a memoir from Olympic gold medalist and two-time Women’s World Cup champion Megan Rapinoe would be inspiring, right?

That was what my colleague Sara Moniuszko took away when she read "One Life" this month. She selected five themes from the book she found inspiring, and here are the ones that resonated with me. 

• Take up space. The soccer star's "signature pose" is synonymous to the feeling we got when finishing this book: heart full, arms wide and ready to take up space in this world. She explained in the book that her attention-grabbing "I deserve this" remark was her "speaking for women who are told to be selfless, invisible, meek; to accept less money, less respect ... who are told to be grateful, uncomplaining. Who are discouraged from owning their victories or even seeking them out in the first place."
• Recognize our privilege. Even as a gay woman, she highlighted the privilege she has as a white person. "There were far fewer Black Americans in soccer than basketball, and going into my protest, I knew that my whiteness and the whiteness of my sport in general probably offered some degree of immunity," she wrote. "To his detractors, Colin (Kaepernick) was the embodiment of the racist stereotype of the aggressive Black male.
• Have a winning mentality. Rapinoe explained that her team is often described by outsiders as being "unbeatable" because of their "winning mentality." "We lose, of course. I’ve won plenty and lost plenty," she explained. "The difference is that we truly believe we’re going to win, in every single game, no matter how the game is going or at what stage it’s in."

Read Sara's full story on the book here. 

Today's reads

• Our experts lay out potential post-election 401k moves to meet current market conditions. 
• A look at the current COVID surge from inside a hospital. It's a tough read, but an important reminder to do all we can to keep ourselves and others safe. 
• Paste BN sports writer Eddie Timanus was the first completely blind contestant on "Jeopardy!" He shares his memories of Alex Trebek. 
• You think remote work is new? Elton John and Bernie Taupin wrote more than a dozen of songs together before ever meeting in person. Some of their earliest work is available in a new collection, "Jewel Box." Patrick Ryan talked to them both about their incredible work. 

Today's pet

Speaking of cooking, here's a cat who likes to be in on the action in the kitchen. 

"This is Robbie Ray. My children named him after a character on 'Hannah Montana,'" says J. Wert in Telford, Penn. "He acts like he owns the house. He will wait at the door to be picked up and transported to his cat food. Or he will wait to be toweled off if it’s been raining. He sleeps on a red polar fleece pullover between our heads on our bed. And if he doesn’t like something, he will meow extremely loud until he gets what he wants. If he doesn’t come in for the night, my husband will look for him until he’s found.  He sounds like a brat but he is so very sweet and we love him tremendously."

Hope you pull your weight this Thanksgiving, Robbie Ray. 

That's it for this Saturday. I am taking some time off to move into my new house at long last, so on Tuesday you'll be hearing from the great Alison Maxwell, and unfortunately next Saturday (Nov. 21) we won't have an edition. But don't worry, I shall return to you on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving to commiserate and share recipes. 

All my very best,

Kelly Lawler