The little black dress struts its stuff in comic novel
Huffington Post contributor Jane L. Rosen has fashioned a charming lark of a novel in Nine Women, One Dress (Doubleday, 257 pp., **½ out of four stars).
Set in modern-day Manhattan, Nine Women is a throwback that evokes the fluffy romantic comedies of the Rock Hudson-Doris Day era. This is a fantasyland where nosy but well-meaning salesclerks at Bloomingdale’s make sure packages are sent to the wrong women in hopes of dousing one romance and igniting another, more appropriate one. And it works.
Felicia, the longtime executive assistant to lawyer Arthur Winters, is the recipient of this retail romanticism. For decades, she has been quietly in love with Arthur, who was devoted to his wife. When Arthur is widowed, Felicia sees her chance, but Arthur has taken up with the much younger Sherri.
Natalie is a salesclerk at Bloomie’s, heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her and quickly weds. Enter movie star Jeremy Madison — falsely “outed” as gay by his cheating fiancée — who pops in to the store to pick up a tie. Pressed by his tough-talking agent to find a date, any date, to tame the media scrum, Jeremy takes the advice of Natalie’s co-worker, Ruthie, and invites Natalie. Ruthie assures the reluctant Natalie that Jeremy is gay, and she loans Natalie the dress of the season, a Max Hammer LBD (little black dress).
This is the kind of madcap mix-up you’ll find in Nine Women. This novel is one long product placement for Bloomingdale’s, where apparently, you can not only shop for a dress or a tie, you can also pick up a movie star and count on the sales clerk to mind your love life.
Rosen is a witty writer, with a wry take on the self-curation of the social media era. She gives us Sophie Stiner, an unemployed Brown graduate with an art degree, who Instagrams herself into a professional opportunity while wearing the titular Max Hammer dress. Bloomingdale’s might not be thrilled to learn that veteran salesclerk Ruthie happily loans Sophie the dress with the full knowledge she will return it the day after wearing it. In the trade, they call that “wardrobing.”
Felicia and Natalie are the most compelling characters, and the people in this novel are more figures from central casting than actual human beings. A girl from Saudi Arabia appears briefly to make the point that for some, a dress means freedom from an oppressive culture. Just to complete the cast of stereotypes, there’s a nice Jewish doctor whose “meet cute” involves an emergency room trip by a young woman wearing that famous dress.
It’s pat and predictable, in the way you sink into a Lifetime TV movie knowing exactly what you came for. If you're longing from a break from reality, Nine Women provides a one-size-fits-all happy ending.