Snap judgments on 'Fifty Shades of Grey'
The wait is finally over.
After all the casting drama, reviews and super weird tie-in teddy bears, Fifty Shades of Grey is finally out in theaters. We at Entertain This! got a chance to catch it before it came out and we definitely have some...thoughts about the whole thing. So for your viewing, um, pleasure, here are our snap judgments on the important things from the movie: The heat, the clothes, the hair, the chemistry and the music.
The Heat
Cindy Clark: Things get toasty, but the sky-high expectations for a steamy, sizzling scorcher were simply not met.
Kelly Lawler: I've seen hotter stuff in every episode of Game of Thrones.
Carly Mallenbaum: When Christian Grey's sexy move is to crawl over onto the bed to seductively bite... a piece of toast, it's safe to say I was not feeling it.
The Clothes
Cindy Clark: Anastasia's? Total snore. Christian, on the other hand, couldn't have looked sharper. Plus I've got major closet envy. (Just wait until you see his tie drawer -- my husband needs one, stat.)
Kelly Lawler: Anastasia's closet apparently only consists of tacky little-girl dresses, jeans and white shirts, but the unflattering blue dress she wears to her graduation is simply criminal.
Carly Mallenbaum: After Anastasia first hooks up with Christian, she apparently forgets that bras exist.
The Hair
Cindy Clark: I'm sorry, what? I spent half the movie distracted by the puffy circles that seem to have taken up permanent residence under Anastasia's eyes.
Kelly Lawler: OK we get it! You're trying to make her look frumpy. But even shy girls own a hairbrush! Maybe she should try one!
Carly Mallenbaum: Sometimes you don't feel like doing your hair. I get that. But not since I turned 12 are pigtails the appropriate hairstyle for running.
The Chemistry
Cindy Clark: Things start out promising, but then it fizzles quickly. Trying too hard is never attractive.
Kelly Lawler: Were we supposed to think they hated each other and didn't like sex? Because that's what I got from their interactions. There was way more chemistry between the best friend and the brother who were on screen for all of five seconds.
Carly Mallenbaum: Not for a second did I think "wow, this is hot," which is a shame considering the intimate scenes are the most important parts of the movie. Maybe it was because I spent most of the movie cringing and thinking about how horrible the shooting experience must have been for actress Dakota Johnson.
The Music
Cindy Clark: Beyoncé's revamped Crazy in Love pulsing over the numerous trailers makes the film seem really, really hot -- a perfect, if not misleading, pairing.
Kelly Lawler: As far as I'm concerned, the soundtrack is the only good aspect of the movie. Although, fair warning, you WILL walk out with Beyoncé's Crazy in Love stuck in your head. But there are worse things in the world.
Carly Mallenbaum: Beyoncé was the MVP of this movie. Meanwhile, the opera music playing during one sex scene just was not getting me in the mood.
For all things Fifty Shades, head over to Paste BN Life.
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