10 more things that rhyme with 'Peeno Noir'
If you've watched The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, chances are you've heard Peeno Noir (yes, that's how the show spells it, despite what the YouTube clip below says). It's the earworm of a dance song concocted by her roommate, Tituss Andromedon, a frustrated wannabe singer/actor/Iron Man (sorry, Marvel lawyers, we mean Metal Hero Friend) impersonator.
Reminiscent of Madonna's 1990 hit Vogue, he spits out things you never realized rhyme with "peeno noir": midsize car, Myanmar, leather bar, abattoir — and — this last one's a bit of a stretch — actor Tom Berenger.
We're hoping Tituss eventually updates the song, like Adam Sander does with The Hanukkah Song every few years, when he identifies new Jewish celebrities worth adding.
Here are a few names and phrases for Titus to add to his rhyming dictionary:
1. Jamie Farr
OK, Farr's TV alter-ego, the Section 8-seeking Max Klinger on M*A*S*H, wasn't gay or an actual drag queen, but he's scrappy and theatrical, which are both qualities Tituss embodies.
2. NPR
Five words, people: Tituss Andromedon Tiny Desk Concert. (Granted, Tituss doesn't really aspire to do anything on a small scale, but we may still pitch this to our friends over at National Public Radio.)
3. Johnny Marr
We could see Tituss being a fan of the 1980s English mope-rock quartet The Smiths. He is human and he just wants to be loved, just like everyone else does.
4. The glam-rock band GWAR
Given that Tituss currently makes a living playing a dinner-theater werewolf, he would at least appreciate their costumes.
5. Harold & Kumar
Because Tituss probably loves him a good Neil Patrick Harris cameo.
Now let's throw in some inanimate objects:
6. Air guitar
You know Tituss just loves a good dramatic facial expression.
7. Mason jar
This will make the next song more appealing to hipsters.
8. Biscuit bar
He is from Mississippi, after all.
9. Arctic char
OK, we don't have a compelling reason for putting this fish on the list. It's random, like most other objects in the song.
10. Ballet barre
We know Tituss has at least one sparkly leotard in his wardrobe. If he had wall space to spare in the small apartment he shares with Kimmy, he'd probably have a barre on one of the walls.