'Game of Thrones' recap: 'Kill the boy'

Spoiler alert! The following contains spoilers for Sunday's episode of Game of Thrones. 

To get along in the world of Game of Thrones, you have to be willing to compromise. Theon wouldn't admit he was outsmarted by a pair of young boys, and now he sleeps in a kennel. The Baratheon brothers wouldn't compromise their claims to the throne, and now one is dead at the hand of the other. Robb Stark wouldn't compromise his love life, and, well, we all know how that turned out. Still, it's important to remember that compromise doesn't always work out too well either -- just think about what happened to poor Ned Stark.

The latest episode of the show, "Kill the Boy," is all about compromise, as Dany tries to hold on to Meereen, Jon tries to hold on to the Wall, the Boltons try to hold on to the North and Jorah and Tyrion just try to hold on. We recap the biggest moments from "Kill the Boy."

Are you not entertained?

Well there's the answer from last week's cliffhanger: Barristan the Bold is dead (but Grey Worm is still with us!). While this is sad for a number of reasons, it primarily means that Dany has lost yet another one of her trusted advisors. As the number of people whispering in her ear diminishes, there's an opportunity for other voices to get louder (cough Daario Naharis cough). And certainly her response to the Sons of the Harpy attack -- rounding up the heads of the great families and killing one in front of the rest -- is not something Barristan would have advised she do. (Oh and speaking of this death, this show is really fond of coming up with new ways of killing people. Death by dragon plank walk is one of the more gruesome ones -- and yes I do remember Oberyn's death last season, thank you very much.)

Dany also turns to Missandei (whose romance with Grey Worm is only growing), and her advice is basically that Dany is smarter than everyone else and will come up with something herself (I can disagree with this a little, but not a lot). So Dany goes to visit that one Meerenese guy whose name I still can't remember or pronounce (I swear, they're avoiding saying it on the show), and instead of killing him like he thought, she tells him she's ready to open up those pesky fighting pits again, but only for free men who want to enter. But Dany doesn't stop there. She also tells him that she plans to marry a local to cement her rule, and he's the local she happened to choose (seriously this guy should get captured more, it turned out to be the luckiest day of his life).

While I understand why Dany is looking to tighten her grip on Meereen, marrying this guy and digging her heels in on this side of the world does not bode well for her prospects in Westeros. But, to be honest, something tells me this wedding is not going to happen. And I hope it doesn't, because weddings are just never a good idea on this show.

It rhymes with weak

Ah, pillow talk between Ramsay and his psycho girlfriend, that's romantic stuff, right there. It's almost as heartwarming as watching the Reek formerly known as Theon apologizing to Sansa for killing her brothers, at Ramsay's command and while Roose is in the room. Our visit to Winterfell this week was a contest of heartwarming moments, from Miranda's various antics to that Reek-filled family dinner to Roose explaining to Ramsay the story of how he came to be (in a nutshell, Roose has always been evil and gross, and how he was ever an ally of the Starks is beyond me). The story of how Roose raped and nearly killed Ramsay's mother is apparently exactly what the new Bolton needed to hear in order to get himself back in the game, after the news of Roose's wife's new pregnancy put a damper on his day.

And, of course, there was still time for the loving father and son once again remind us that Stannis is going to try to take the North, and will probably attack Winterfell, just in case you might have forgotten the first 100 times they said it (new game: drink every time someone uses "Stannis" and "North" in the same sentence).

Meanwhile Sansa seems to be, um, adjusting to her new life as well as one might imagine. And while she's starting to see Ramsay's true colors and might become victim to them soon, she does have some people on her team (well, at this point we're only positive about one random old lady and Brienne and Pod at the village down the road, but, you know, that's something).

Jon's grand plan

"Kill the boy, and let the man be born." That's the advice Maester Aemon (hey you remember that he's related to Dany? This episode would like you to remember that, thanks) gives Lord Commander Jon Snow this week when he lets on to his great idea to let every single Wildling settle south of the Wall. It makes sense, given that if the White Walkers reach the Wildings first, they'll slaughter them all and add their walking corpses to their big frozen zombie army, and then send that army straight to Castle Black. Jon's plan is logical, for sure. I get it.

But you know who doesn't get it, like at all? The rest of the Night's Watch. The citizens of Castle Black have never been so united in a cause as they are against Jon's plan. These are the people the Watch just finished fighting. These are the people who just raided that adorable little boy's town and killed his parents. These are the people who killed Pip and Grenn and so many more. These are not people the men of the Watch want to suddenly be living next to without a giant ice wall in the way. But Jon is the Lord Commander now, and he's going to do what he wants. So, with the help of his new Wildling pal and some ships from Stannis's fleet, he's off beyond the Wall to rescue the Wildings he doesn't already have. What could possibly go wrong?

And oh hey, speaking of Stannis, here he finally goes to take the North! I'm guessing it will take him approximately three more episodes to get to Winterfell (the show's got to do something for its big ninth episode!), but I'm glad we're finally getting some momentum in this story, instead of just having people talk and talk about how it's probably going to happen (although this might ruin our new drinking game).

The Doom still rules Valyria

Can we get more poetry time with Tyrion and Jorah? Or a spin-off called Poetry Time with Tyrion and Jorah? Our favorite new road trip buddy comedy took a detour into Valyria -- you know, that ancient city that succumbed to a Doom that has been mentioned occasionally during the show's first four seasons. Besides giving us a rousing rendition of a poem and introducing Drogon the Dragon to Tyrion, the new route doesn't really work out for the boys. Tyrion and Jorah are attacked by stone men suffering from Greyscale, the disease little Princess Shireen has (which explains why we needed that scene last week where Stannis explained why he didn't send her to Valyria).

The battle sequence is, I have to say, pretty stunning. While Tyrion and Jorah are distracted by the mesmerizing site of Drogon flying overhead, the audience is as well, which makes the attack all the creepier and more shocking. And the way the stone men just drop down from the city, not jump, gives them the feeling of things rather than people. These guys will give the White Walkers a run for their money in the supernatural-being-you-least-want-to-have-to-battle game.

Tyrion and Jorah survive their stoned encounter, but lose their fun little boat in the process. And, oh yeah, now Jorah has a brand new stoney patch on his arm, which is never a good sign. Considering that the duo has a "long walk ahead of them," I don't think the chances of the two of them getting to Meereen in one piece are particularly good at this point.

Miss last week's recap? You can read it here.