Journey with a centaur named Randall in Stephen Colbert's choose-your-own-adventure video game

Stephen Colbert is pretty awesome. He gets to host late night shows and wear fun glasses and do really ridiculous thing. And if you've ever felt jealous of Colbert and his awesome existence, we have good news for you: Now you can be him, too!

In the latest gem from his pre-Late Show publicity tour, Colbert has released a choose-your-own-adventure video game on the show's website where you get to spend a day as the illustrious comedian himself. And before you're too quick to think that Escape From the Man-Sized Cabinet is just all reading jokes off of cue cards and cleaning lens-less glasses, try your hand at the game, where you can meet a centaur named Randall and journey to a land that's definitely not copyright-infringement on Narnia. You can do a lot of other things, too, and if you play the game well enough you'll come across this gem:
"Pain don't hurt, and I ain't got time to bleed. I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum. Luke, I am your father, so show me the money."
Say goodbye to your productivity by playing the game here.