Wait, what!? 'Glamour' basically goes back to the 1950s for tips on how to get a man
Update: Glamour responded to Paste BN and said that the article was not intended to be taken sincerely. Glamour spokeswoman Kimberly Bernhardt told us:
"The article was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but it obviously missed the mark, and we agree. We'll post on it ourselves today."
OK, we feel a little better now.
Original post: Remember the Cool Girl thing from Gone Girl? The idea of the "perfect woman" who is basically just an amalgam of all male fantasy that doesn't really exist? Well it looks like Glamour is trying to make her a real thing.
In an article published on the magazine's website called "13 Little Things That Can Make a Man Fall Hard for You," the author describes 13 "romantic little gestures" that will "make him fall even more in love with you," and when we read them, we couldn't help but be reminded of the Cool Girl.
Here's the famous speech from Gone Girl (from the book, not the movie, and minus some bits that are on the NSFW side):
"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer ... and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth ... while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, (expletive) on me, I don't mind. I'm the Cool Girl."
And here are some of the "gestures" in the Glamour article:
"1. Stocking the fridge with his favorite drinks. Bonus points: Bring him back to his fraternity days by handing him a cold one as he steps out of the shower.
6. Being open to what he wants to try in the bedroom and out. An open mind is attractive no matter your playground.
8. Spitting out sports stats for his favorite team. Showing an interest in his favorite players will earn you points on and off the field.
9. Making a big deal out of his favorite meal. Does he like hot dogs cut up into his boxed mac-and-cheese? Serve it on a silver platter to really see him smile.
11. Sitting side-by-side while he vegs out to the TV. It may not feel like quality time to you, but it’s the best time to him.
13. Taking him back to third grade with a gentle tease over anything from how you’ll dominate him on the basketball court to the weird way he just styled his hair."
See some similarities? Also, what the heck is this article?!!? Because besides being eerily similar to what author Gillian Flynn wrote as a really bad thing, the article just generally seems to promote a less-than-progressive idea of gender roles (read: this article basically takes place in the Mad Men universe). Serve him food and drinks? Like anything he likes just because he likes it? Do whatever he wants inside and outside of the bedroom? Are they freaking kidding with this?
We weren't the only ones disturbed by the whole thing:
Now maybe we're all being too hard on the article. Maybe it's actually supposed to be a satire or a parody. Maybe we're missing something. Paste BN has reached out to Glamour about the article to find out. And we really, really hope it's not serious. Because the Cool Girl doesn't exist, and we need to stop pretending like she ever will. And we should especially stop telling women that they need to be this subservient fantasy for men. Because ... just no.