'Teen Wolf' recap: We survived but we're dead

Spoiler alert! The following contains spoilers for Monday night's episode of Teen Wolf.

I think the best summary of that mid-season finale of Teen Wolf would be this gif right here:



Um, Teen Wolf, what the hell was that? You give us an incredibly unsteady first half of the season only to deliver an actually impressive finale? And then you don't come back until January?? Yeah I've been critical of this season so far (mostly due to the fact that nothing happened) but it's clear that the show was holding back all of the good stuff until this episode, "Status Asthmaticus." Which I have issues with too, but I'm mostly ecstatic over the fact that Theo finally revealed his true colors and we got a decent fight scene that doesn't look like half of it was in slow-motion. Not to mention that Derek maybe might return? It was a game-changing episode that will keep me watching out for Season 5B.

In the name of the moon, I will punish you

The supermoon is apparently the opposite of werewolf Kryptonite, except for the fact that it makes everything worse. Liam's anger problems come back (they disappeared about one episode after his introduction) in an even more heightened sense aided by the supermoon, and he lashes out against Scott for refusing to bite Hayden. That stuff they pulled last episode by making us think Scott was being a jerk was just a ploy -- he actually thinks a real werewolf bite will kill her. But Liam, star-crossed and in love as he is, does not see it that way, and spends much of the episode giving death glares at Scott before finally attacking him in one of the best fight scenes of the season. For real, does the supermoon magically give Scott and Liam insane b-boy skills?

Theo has revealed his true intentions to Scott -- which is that he would get Liam to kill Scott and become the Alpha, leaving Theo to kill Liam and take over his pack. It's an extremely convoluted plan which would basically turn Hayden into a puppet whose sole purpose was to get Liam to fall in love with her, but hey, if that was Theo's plan along, then props. You win villainy points. While Scott and Theo fight in the mountain ash-encircled library (Theo had also filled Scott's inhaler with wolfsbane too because he's a grade-A douchecanoe), Hayden slowly dies at the animal clinic/hospital while Melissa McCall and Mason try desperately to save her. But they're too late, and she dies in possibly the cheesiest way possible (was that solitary mercury tear really necessary?). Mason stops Liam from killing Scott just in time to tell him about Hayden, and Liam runs back to cradle Hayden's dead body before the newly revealed Hellhound Parrish takes her away.

Enter the void

http://teenwolf.tumblr.com/post/127526561926

As much as I like that Teen Wolf has basically become Dylan O'Brien's acting workshop (this season especially), I'm kind of done with angsty Stiles. He and that murder wrench could take up a whole 45 minutes on their own and it would still be riveting, but ultimately pointless. We get the first moment between him and Malia since the premiere it seems like, where they earnestly talk about his wrecked Jeep and how much it means to him -- yes, I know, the Jeep is Scott. But there's still a disconnect between the two of them, despite Malia saying she accepts his straight up murdering a dude. Nah, Stiles has got to angst some more.

Stiles arrives at the Sheriff's Department to find it in a frenzy after (the first successful?) Chimera attacked the high school. But things are about to get even more chaotic when Stiles sees Parrish break out of his cell -- who had just had his obligatory sweet moment with Lydia that ends in her discovering his Hellhound nature and getting knocked out by Theo. Possessed by his Hellhound self (darn it, when I heard that Wild Hunt myth I was sure it was going to be the Grim), Parrish goes to his white murder van and drives off, while Stiles follows him. Stiles calls Theo (just...why?) to help him pursue Parrish, but Theo just has to ruin everything. He plays his hand, trying to pit Stiles against Scott, then trying to goad Stiles back into being dark, Void Stiles. This only succeeds in pissing off Stiles who attacks him, but stops when Theo pulls out his ace and tells him that his father is in danger, giving Stiles the choice of saving his friends or saving his dad. Dad, it is. The greatest bromance stays broken up.

Dead is dead

http://martinsti.tumblr.com/post/127527779632/this-is-not-what-i-wanted-the-last-shot-of-lydia

Theo really shined in this episode. He was gleefully evil, and seeing him manipulate essentially all of Scott's pack was pretty fun. Though Malia seems the most suspicious of Theo at this point, she's also the one who's radiating the most heat toward him (though they're tense flirtatious scenes still doesn't make the Desert Wolf storyline more interesting). Speaking of Malia, she got the second best fight scene this episode, with the mysterious successful Chimera who may or may not be a vampire. He was drinking blood! He had fangs! Come on, Teen Wolf just give me this. I honestly love your mythology parts the best and it would be awesome if you didn't pick and choose from the most obscure texts (and I would be so happy to be able to make even more Buffy references).

Aside from her great fight scene, another awesome result came from Malia's subplot: Braeden is back! And if Braeden and her cool mercenary leather jacket is back, does that mean Derek isn't far behind?? Give me this too, Teen Wolf. I want an adult.

Back to Theo: He's gone a little bonkers after his plan to kill Scott didn't work; even after he essentially guts Scott with his claws, Scott comes back to life courtesy of some quality Melissa McCall CPR. So Theo pulls out his final ace -- he wakes up the kidnapped Lydia, who he was keeping locked up at the Dread Doctors' chemistry lab, to violently read her memories. You know, sharp, deadly claws into the back of her head-style. Poor, traumatized Lydia gets dragged by Theo to find the Nemeton, where he resurrects the dead teen Chimeras to make his own pack, including the recently departed Hayden. Geez, death seems so easy to cheat nowadays (yet for some reason Allison is the ONLY one to stay dead?? I'm not bitter).

Yeah, according to that ominous cliffhanger -- and the Dread Doctors prophetic wall drawing -- there's going to be a battle of the packs between Scott and Theo. Only, Scott's is a little broken up at this point, and everyone is half dead (and Lydia might be driven insane?). OK, I'm ready.

Missed last week's Teen Wolf recap? Read it here.