'Scream Queens' recap: Chanel-o-Ween

Situation report (spoiler alert)

Crude detective: Wes (Grace's dad) and Gigi brought in a detective to interrogate Dean Munsch over the Red Devil's latest visit to the Kappa house. Meanwhile, Grace and barista/aspiring investigative reporter/Red Devil mascot Pete Martinez (dressed as Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) paid a visit to Mandy Greenwell, one of the 1995 Kappa sisters who went off the grid after the night of the bathtub incident. Pete forgot what "off the grid" meant and proceeded to go all Method McConaughey on her. Mandy gave them one important detail before they left and the Red Devil came calling: the baby born that night was a girl. Grace leaves convinced she was that baby.

Shut it down: We got a flashback to the aftermath of the Kappa sister's death in 1995 in whic Munsch and Ms. Bean mulled how to cover it up. (One discarded idea involved making the victim into sausages to be sold at the farmer's market). We learn Munsch drove the Kappa sisters out into the woods and made them dig the grave and then ordered them to withdraw from school and never to have contact with each other again.

Greek lives matter: Zayday and Earl Grey launched bids to become the first black presidents of Kappa Kappa Tau and the Dollar Scholars, respectively. Zayday's announcement, made while the sisters carved pumpkins in the Ms. Bean Memorial Kitchen, naturally, did not sit well with Chanel. When the sitting president tried to threaten her, Zayday served her up a "hot cup of tell it like it is": they all witnessed her murder a person.  This show of defiance sent Chanel into a 3 a.m. knife-sharpening frenzy.  Later, the Red Devil kidnaps Zayday from her ill-fated haunted house benefit.

(And in case you were wondering, our favorite pumpkin was totally Chanel No. 3's Charles Manson gourd.)

Harold and Maude-lin: Chad and Hester met in the graveyard and bonded over their shared necrophilia. She also propositioned him, arguing that she could win the vice presidency of Kappa if Zayday ousted Chanel. However, her presidency would be short-lived as she would "fall down a flight of stairs or drown in a retention pond." Later, they stumble upon the remains of Ms. Bean, Chanel No. 2, Denise's fellow security guard Shondel, Coney the mascot and Mandy the 1995 Kappa in the dwelling being used for Zayday's haunted house benefit. (Also, Lea Michele is well on her way to burying Rachel Green after this episode.)

Mysteries solved: We finally learned the name of the school: Walsh University. And we find out that Gigi, the Kappa national president, took the bathtub baby to the haunted house site and cared for it after it was born.

This week's classic '80s pop culture references

Wes has his film class watch Children of the Corn. Later, the Chanels and Hester wail on chauvinistic frat boys with cafeteria trays to the strains of Belinda Carlisle's Mad About You.

Anachronism of the week

Gigi fed the bathtub baby by stealing milk from a milkman's truck (we're talking white uniform and glass quart bottles). In 1995?!?

The quotes

"A lot of my fans are friendless, dumpy co-eds at this-or-that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits. Chanel-o-ween is the one time of year I can give these precious donkeys something to look forward to. They put down their Hot Pockets  and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me."

Let's face it, Halloween didn't become Chanel's favorite time of year without her finding a way to make it all about her.

"Dear Heather, I hope this severed leg brightens up your trailer park."

Chanel is really missing her true calling: greeting-card writer.

"Shondel, if you can hear me in that Best Buy parking lot in the sky ..."

How security guard Denise Hemphill begins her prayers.

"You may think I'm a monster tonight, but years from now, when you've lived a boring, painfully uncreative life in a home filled with Pottery Barn sofas and no integrity, you're gonna remember me as I truly am: your guardian angel."

Dean Munsch talks the terrified 1995 Kappa girls into burying their dead sister.

"Other girls changed their names and moved away. One girl killed herself, I heard. Another girl was institutionalized. The third is actually doing pretty well on Fox News."

1995 sister Mandy explains what became of the girls from that fateful night.

"Hey, Jennifer, could you hop off the spectrum for just a second?"

Chanel, in an attempt to shut up a mildly autistic pledge

"Aw yeah, I bet you are a sexy, dirt-covered girl!"

How our favorite necrophiliac douche, Chad Radwell, talks to the deceased on his graveyard strolls.

"You'll again be porking the top (expletive) in Kappa and this (expletive) puts out."

Hester completes her graveyard seduction of Chad.

"That's good sleuthin', Zayday Williams. You might be able to get a job with Secure Enforcement Solutions, if you decide to give up murderin' folks for a living."

Denise after the aspiring Kappa president deduces she was rejected from Kappa on racial grounds back in her own college days and theorizes she is actually the murderer and is trying to pin the murders on Zayday because she's jealous.

"I'm so glad you guys are sharing your not-food lunch with me but won't we, like, die, if we eat cotton balls?"

Hester on learning what's on the menu. (Don't worry, Hes, the sauce will keep them from blocking your intestines. Plus, "it gives you that wonderfully full feeling without all the calories.")

"I'm as skinny as Karen Carpenter in the morgue and Chad Radwell still won't commit to me."

Chanel, wondering if the cotton-ball diet is really worth the sacrifice.

"So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot? You're welcome."

A frat boy to Chanel after she calls him and another guy out for cat-calling them and perpetuating the culture that makes it OK to objectify women and give 10-year-old girls eating disorders. (Thanks, required women's studies class!)

"Zayday should have considered the fact that she was going to get kidnapped before she betrayed me."

Chanel on why she doesn't want to form a search party to look for her missing sorority sister.

"Are you on bath salts?"

Wes, reacting to Grace's theory about the identity of the Kappa baby.

BTW, Grace may be obsessed with the theory that her mom was the dead Kappa sister but we have a theory about who Pete Martinez's dad is: Steve McGarrett from Hawaii Five-0. (Especially back in his Moonlight days.)

And finally, this week's WTH are you wearing award goes to ...

Chanel, for her fur-muffler-over-another-skirt ensemble. In other wardrobe-related developments, the costume designer finally realized that sorority girls actual wear Greek letters.