Hannah, Shoshanna get rude awakenings on 'Girls'

This episode of Girls is really exciting because, as the title, Japan, suggests, we get to see the fierce Shoshanna Shapiro living and thriving (at least at first) in Japan. We really applaud the Girls team for actually going to the country and not just having Shosh call the other characters every once in a while from another room on set. (To read about Zosia Mamet's time in Japan, click here.)

Unfortunately, things take a turn for Shoshanna and Hannah as well on this episode. We'll get started with Shosh first.

From what we see, she's fully immersed herself in the Japanese culture. She's picked up some of the language and seems to be a total boss at work. Shosh admits that she doesn't really care about people in America anymore (which definitely includes her boyfriend Scott, played by Jason Ritter) and she's kind of hot for her boss, Yoshi. But she hasn't made a move yet because she has the boyfriend back home and feels like, "Sheryl Sandberg would (bleeping) kill me."

While at home, Shosh gets a video call from Abigail played by the hilarious Aidy Bryant. Unfortunately, Abigail has some bad news and has to let Shosh go because of cutbacks at the Japanese office. While Shosh thought she had successfully run away from her problems back home, she is harshly colliding with reality.

"Abigail, you cannot make me go back," Shoshanna yells at her computer before slamming it shut.

She commiserates with her now former co-workers at a bar, and they ask Shoshanna why she doesn't just stay. Shosh says she doesn't have enough money to, even if she comes off as spoiled. When she leaves the bar, she gets a call from her long distance boyfriend, Scott. She tells him she's coming home, and he's happy, but Shosh is still very upset.

"I can't help but feel a little bit excited on a very selfish level," he says.

Shosh says that's "really sweet" but expresses concern that she doesn't have a job. Scott suggests she leave right away. "Come back to me," he says. "I will take such good care of you, and we'll just move forward."

No, no, NO! Doesn't he know Shosh wants to make it on her own?

But Shosh agrees to book a flight home, and Scott says he'll see her at the airport. Then Shoshanna texts her former boss, Yoshi, to see what he's up to. Shosh joins her former co-workers at the same concert that Yoshi is at and goes to find him. When they meet up, Shosh is very touchy-feely. After the show, Shosh, Yoshi, and a group visit this place where women dress up and dominate men. After getting encouragement from Yoshi's friends, Shosh dresses like a sexy nurse and uses a flogger on one of them. She begins to feel uncomfortable, and Yoshi takes her outside to remove her from the sitch. He also apologizes for his friend, and Shosh kisses him.

The next morning, Shoshanna is packing when she gets a voicemail from Scott who just "can't wait" to kiss her.

On the balcony something comes over Shosh, and she decides to stay. We see her take clothes out of her suitcase, and a frustrated Scott call it quits at the airport.

So long, Scott!

Hannah and Fran

While Fran is telling Hannah a story, she has no idea who he is talking about so Fran shows her the photo of a young man on his phone who Hannah has deemed a 7-year-old "(bleep)hole" because he is "super pompous."

Before handing Fran's phone back she notices some nude photos, which Fran says are his ex-girlfriends. Say what now? Perhaps for every woman out there, Hannah says, "Why the (bleep) do you have naked photos of your ex-girlfriends on your phone? That's insane!"

Fran says he uses them during something we're gonna call "personal time" because he finds the porn industry very unethical. He also thinks the sexy pictures Hannah sends are too "goofy." Sorry we all haven't taken Pictorials 101 at the Playboy Mansion, Fran!

To discuss Fran's newly discovered habit, Hannah video chats with Marnie on her honeymoon in Ecuador, and Hannah poses a very interesting question.

"How's this different than killing someone and keeping their shrunken head as a trophy?"

"He is not cheating on you." Marnie says. "He's not doing anything mean. In fact, he's the nicest guy you've ever dated by, like, a planet distance."

That reasoning isn't enough to make Hannah feel better so she visits Ray and Elijah at the coffee shop to get some male perspective. She's also finally able to verbalize what has her so upset.

"I've worked very, very hard to overcome the challenges of my non-traditional body type and accept myself for who I am," she says. "I'm not going to be edged out of my own life by girls who don't even have any interesting fat deposits on them. Until this happened, I was basically Kate Upton to myself."

As you should be! We challenge every person reading this to find a mirror and recite to themselves, "I am Kate Upton. I am Kate Upton. I am Kate Upton."

Ray uses his phone with a special lens, and Elijah holds up what might be a lace tablecloth to help Hannah with a sexy photo shoot. Also, here's a tip from Elijah for creating your own sexy photo: pose "like you know a cake is coming later."

Then, when Hannah and Fran are having sex (because the cake face worked and got him in the mood?), Fran feels like Hannah is "disassociated." When he tells her that he loves her, Hannah's response is, "You shouldn't need me to tell you I love you. All those pictures of your ex-girlfriends can tell you that they love you."

Ouch! Passive-aggressive much?

While Fran is asleep Hannah takes his phone and deletes the photos of his exes, and saves her photo as the screensaver.

Buh-bye sexy, shrunken heads!

Jessa and Adam

This storyline is our least favorite because girl code. And even though Jessa is saying all the right things about wanting to preserve her friendship with Hannah, her actions say otherwise.

Jessa and Ray join Adam to watch his role on a detective show starring Lucy Liu. Once Ray goes to bed to get his 13 hours of sleep, Adam pretends to look for a haiku on the ceiling as an attempt to get closer to Jessa and kiss her. Jessa stops him and reminds him that they're just friends and leaves.

We're wishing this story would just die like the goldfish from last week's episode, but we're guessing the characters are going to continue to explore their attraction to one another.