'Selling the OC': Not sold on the office's flirty relationships? How close is too close?
It might be more than the high-end real estate that's eyebrow-raising on the debut season of Netflix's "Selling the OC."
The latest spinoff of the Los Angeles-based "Selling Sunset," now streaming, is the first iteration to include male and female realtors. Anyone who has devoured the season's eight episodes understands how that quickly turns into trouble.
"How many other real estate offices have cuddle puddles on the beach?" Tyler Stanaland, who wed "Pitch Perfect" actress Brittany Snow in 2020, asks his colleagues during an office event at the beach. While cuddled up, his colleague Alex Hall gives him a "nosey," a move not captured by cameras but explained to be when someone covers another's nose with their mouth. We second agent Kayla Cardona's evaluation of "Ew."
At the same flirty function, Polly Brindle skinny-dips in front of her office mates, making good on a bet with Stanaland. Later, in one of the most dramatic storylines of the season, Stanaland reveals Cardona has repeatedly tried making out with him after one too many drinks.
Experts agree Netflix's latest real estate series won't replace any HR-required videos on appropriate office etiquette – and explain how to keep your behavior from being the topic of watercooler gossip.
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"Selling the OC" doesn't capture typical office drama, and it has been edited with hopes of making addictive reality TV, a point acknowledged by Barbara Mitchell, co-author of workplace texts like "The Essential HR Handbook" and "The Big Book of HR." "Pretty much everything I watched in the trailer is inappropriate, but does it make for good television? Absolutely!"
When it comes to the real world, Mitchell says, "I would define 'too close' to being a cuddle puddle." With employees in bathing suits, drinking, "which always changes everything, to be putting your arms around each other is like striking a match to a fire."
Psychologist Marsha D. Brown advises making a distinction between work and home life and keeping things friendly at the office. She suggests drawing the line at pursuing romantic relationships with co-workers to prevent any future problems and, if someone has a partner, considering how office interactions could make them feel.
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It can be quite a juggling act, she acknowledges. “In most cases you're not going to be like, ‘Don't touch me. Stay 5 feet away from me at all times,’" she says. "You want to get along. You want to seem like a person that's friendly and flexible and can add a good dynamic to the team." She suggests being mindful of physical contact and keeping interactions professional, and she discourages establishing nicknames for each other or inside jokes.
To maintain professionalism at work, people should also decide what personal information they're comfortable sharing with colleagues and limit the amount of boozy beverages tossed back around co-workers, Brown says.
One drink can easily turn into three, she says. "Then it seems like: ‘It's fine. I'll just have two more,’ and then it ends up where boundaries are crossed, you aren't behaving as professionally. You may speak in a different way than you would in the office. You may use language that may not be office-appropriate, or that will change the dynamic or the perception of you."
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And is that really such a big deal? "The question you have to ask yourself is: What are you willing to risk?" says psychiatric nurse practitioner and therapist Laura Petiford. "If you keep your professional relationships professional, you really mitigate risk. You mitigate the chance of there being some sort of problem that's going to make it very sticky to work together easily."
If a co-worker is making you uncomfortable, Mitchell says, let them know. “Tell them to stop, very emphatically," she says, "whether it's putting up your hand and saying: ‘Stop, this isn't appropriate. I don't appreciate this.’”
Clearly communicating your disapproval is key, Brown says.
"Many times, the go-to is to make a joke, or deflect, or laugh and hope that they'll stop it or see how uncomfortable we are when they put us in these situations," she says. "But a lot of times, the signals that we believe we’re sending out to other people – like the nonverbal signals – are not necessarily clear, and they're not necessarily perceived the way we want them to be perceived."
If your partner's office relationships make you uneasy, don't be afraid to speak up, Petiford says: “Be honest and upfront about it and simply state it: ‘I'm uncomfortable with the level of closeness you have with your coworker.’”
And there you have it. The more you knowsy.
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