What would a 'stealthing' ban mean for survivors of sexual violence?

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You agreed to have sex with a condom then later find out your partner removed it without your knowledge or consent. You've been stealthed, an act that is increasingly gaining attention as more countries move to make it illegal.

Earlier this summer, Canada's top court ruled the act can now be prosecuted as sexual assault. Stealthing became illegal in parts of Australia starting in 2021. Since 2020, it has also been punishable as a form of sexual violence in Germany and the U.K. 

In the U.S., California is the only state that prohibits stealthing. Gov. Gavin Newsom signed the bill into law in October 2021, making it illegal to remove condoms without obtaining verbal consent.

Experts urge more awareness around stealthing to help prevent it as well as legal protections against it to improve victims' well-being.

"It has really broad ramifications," says Indira Henard, executive director of the DC Rape Crisis Center. "We are seeing more and more high-profile sexual assault cases ... where consent is almost always at the center. Stealthing is going to play a critical role in not just helping the country be clear on what consent is... (but also) re-evaluate how we are engaging in interpersonal relationships."

The 'monumental' consequences of stealthing

“Stealthing,” or removing or damaging a condom without consent during sex, can be perpetrated by anyone, from a one-night stand to a spouse. Experts used a common word when describing it, though: Betrayal. 

"The ramifications of (stealthing) are monumental ... It's a level of harm that is unmatched," Henard says.

Consequences can also be life-altering.

"Stealthing is not just a form of emotional abuse and sexual abuse, it can be used to get someone stuck in a relationship. Pregnancy can result ... STIs ... It's a form of power and control," Henard says.

Alexandra Brodsky, civil rights attorney and author of "Sexual Justice: Supporting Victims, Ensuring Due Process and Resisting the Conservative Backlash," says survivors experience a whole range of injuries. She helped inspire California's bill, bringing the dangerous trend to light in 2017 via a journal article she wrote while at Yale Law School.

"They experience unwanted pregnancies, are diagnosed with STIs – but even when that doesn't happen, a lot of survivors feel a sense of betrayal that someone they trusted with their body entirely disregarded their autonomy."

And while some are working to bring more awareness and legislation to the issue, the term is still not universally known nor understood despite its prevalence.

A Melbourne-based 2018 study on women and men who have sex with men, for example, found that 32% of women and 19% of men had experienced stealthing. A 2019 U.S. study found 49% of women participants experienced coercive condom use resistance from their partner and 12% experienced stealthing. 

What would more progress mean for survivors?

While California has "definitely paved the way" in banning stealthing, more states following suit is "critical," Henard says.

"I would love to see more states really take an intentional look at stealthing and how it can cause harm to survivors of sexual violence."

When California's bill was passed last year, the Erotic Service Providers Legal Educational Research Project supported it, saying it could allow sex workers to sue clients who remove condoms.

And following the Supreme Court's June 2022 decision to overturn Roe v. Wade, effectively making abortion unavailable in half the U.S, the idea of protection against pregnancy and bodily autonomy are front of mind for many.

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Brodsky says litigation can be significant for survivors, especially civil lawsuits, which can be more useful to survivors than criminal cases by putting the power in the survivor's hand when deciding whether to move forward.

"It's a way of regaining control. It's a way of feeling empowered," she says, adding for others it may be a less positive experience. "They're also survivors for whom it is awful – they're required to continue thinking about talking about this terrible thing that happened to them ... For most people, it's a mix of both."

The remedy at the end?

"Usually money damages, which can be really meaningful for survivors who are seeking access to therapy. They want to move to be further away from the person who hurt them, they want to take some time off of work."

Better understanding could also challenge myths and attitudes around sexual violence and rape culture.

For example, stealthing reaffirms that consent needs to happen at every stage of sex and you are more than welcome to stop at any time. One verbal "yes" does not grant free reign over someone else's body in totality. 

"Taking off clothes without consent, removing the condom without consent – all of that is a violation," Henard says. "If someone engages in any form of a sexual act, if they consent to A, that doesn't mean there's an automatic consent for B, C, D, etc."

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Stealthing also highlights the myth of the "perfect victim" or the unfair mandate that victims of sexual violence "be perfect." 

Brodsky explains society often pictures this as a "woman who's never touched a man before in her life" – but "very few survivors fit that bill and no survivors of nonconsensual condom removal do."

This could play a role in how cases are prosecuted if a state were to pass a law making stealthing illegal in a criminal sense.

"We know that very few sexual assaults are prosecuted as it is, and I think that nonconsensual condom removal cases are particularly unlikely to be prosecuted by states, because they implicate so many rape myths, so many stereotypes. As it is, prosecutors are particularly unlikely to bring charges when the victim had a previous consensual sexual relationship with the assailant."

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Will the rest of the country follow suit?

Legislative change takes time and each step of progress counts.

"The fact that you go, in five years, from a law review article written when someone was a student to a bill is actually a pretty fast trajectory," she says, adding it's led to other steps forward too such as more discussion about stealthing and more representations in pop culture like in Michaela Coel’s series "I May Destroy You." "More people now have the vocabulary to describe and understand their own experiences and ... that is victory in and of itself."

It's hard to compare U.S. progress against other countries since sexual assault is primarily prosecuted under state law in the U.S. not federal, Brodsky explains.

Still, she is encouraged by the positive steps that are being made, including more legislative efforts on the state level like in Wisconsin and New York as well as two federal bills introduced: one to make condom removal a violation of federal civil law and another to encourage states to pass their own civil laws.

"The most likely progress forward is through the states, which is frustrating because that means that there are survivors who get left behind, but it's already apparent that it's sometimes easier for a state to get this over the line," Brodsky says. "I really have my fingers crossed, but ... I don't think that we should hold up federal change as the only solution here ... Would I love to see all this moving more quickly? Yes, but I am ultimately really heartened by the progress that we've seen."

Contributing: The Associated Press

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, RAINN offers support through the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE and online.rainn.org).

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