The Abercrombie & Fitch allegations and when it's men who are the victims of sexual abuse
In recent weeks, new details about the Menendez Brothers' case have gained attention, Sean "Diddy" Combs has been sued by a growing number of both male and female victims, and the former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries has been charged with operating a secretive, international sex trafficking scheme aimed at procuring young men for sex.
One thing all these cases have in common? They involve males who say they were victims of sexual abuse, bringing to the forefront an often less-talked-about reality of sexual assault: Yes, men can be victims too. And in fact, researchers have found at least 1 in 6 men are.
Yet men face particular challenges when they disclose allegations of sexual misconduct, such as not being believed and overcoming the stigma when they do come forward, especially if they were assaulted by other men.
What happens when victims come forward
As these cases head to court, the deciding factor the verdict may hinge on if the accusers are to be believed.
Though the #MeToo movement paved the way for victims of abuse to share their stories, those making allegations against the rich and powerful often face an uphill battle when it comes to being seen as credible. That's, in part, because people have specific ideas about what a victim looks like – meek, virtuous, non-retaliatory, female.
"When you already want to believe something, you need less evidence to keep believing it and you're more willing to accept any evidence that is in favor of it without thinking more deeply about it," David Pizarro, a professor at Cornell University who studies how biases affect moral judgment, previously told Paste BN. "When you're presented with information that goes contrary to what you believe, then you actually start thinking more deeply about it in order to counterargue."
How society views male accusers
Male victims face unique challenges because of stereotypes around masculinity that suggest men are not victims, men can handle it, men always enjoy sex. The experiences of male victims are also complicated by homophobia – 96% of perpetrators against boys and girls are men. Fears of being seen as gay can contribute to feelings of shame and a desire to hide the abuse, especially when their bodies have sexual responses under violence, which is physiologically normal for any victim.
Those cultural views around masculinity may also keep men who've experienced sexual abuse from healing or seeking help, experts in abuse say. Sexual violence against men can make them feel as though they are no longer men. Men are viewed as strong, sexual, aggressive, stoic protectors. Victims are wrongly viewed as weak and vulnerable. Many men don't want to identify with that stereotype. They hide their abuse or deny it. They may disclose but minimize its impact. They may express their anger, because that's culturally accepted, but not their sadness or grief.
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"People often talk about trauma as being an abnormal experience. So what's a normal reaction? And the answer is everything – everything that a trauma survivor tells you is a normal reaction," Sharon Imperato, a counselor and trainer with the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center who has worked with victims of sexual trauma for two decades, previously told Paste BN.
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While it's been well-documented that many female victims of abuse often don't report their abusers or wait years to do so, experts in sexual violence also suspect more men are abused than statistics indicate. For numbers to be accurate, men who have been harmed have to identify what was done to them as sexual violence. As a result of wrongly believing they cannot experience sexual violence, many may be left unable or unwilling to name their abuse.
Jim Struve, a licensed clinical social worker and executive director of MenHealing, which provides services and support to men who have been sexually assaulted or abused, previously told Paste BN men who are sexually abused often get caught in extremes. Many become overachievers – they try to do more, earn more, accumulate more. Others underfunction – they fail in relationships and at work, get in trouble with alcohol, drugs and the law.
"If they're on the extreme where they're really successful or high-functioning, it's like, 'Looks like you've done fine, everything is OK, it didn't bother you, it didn't hurt you,' " he said. "If you're on the other extreme, people are getting in trouble … but nobody ever asks, 'What happened to you?' Instead, the issue is 'What's wrong with you?'"
Contributing: Alia E. Dastagir, N'dea Yancey-Bragg, Mark Williams, Hannah Phillipsand Julius Whigham II, Paste BN Network