Jimmy Carter's death has devastated the nation. It's OK to grieve.
President Jimmy Carter's death on Sunday was both a shock and an inevitability. Carter entered into hospice care nearly two years ago and just made it to 100 years old in October – living just long enough to vote for Vice President Kamala Harris in the presidential election.
"It is hard - and maybe impossible - to think of another American who has done more good for the United States and humanity," one X user wrote. Another added: "The passing of President Jimmy Carter profoundly saddens me. May his soul rest in peace."
The news has captivated the nation – so much so that his death likely feels personal. Maybe he was president when you were born, or when your parents were born. Perhaps you're familiar with his non-profit The Carter Center or his partnership with Habitat for Humanity. Or you might just recognize his name from a history textbook. No matter what, you might be grieving.
Grief is different for everyone, and experts say mourning someone you didn't personally know − a phenomenon called collective or public grief − is a complicated, yet valid, experience.
"Collective and public grief, as I call it, is always unique in how we attach," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told Paste BN.
This form of grief can be further compounded with the death of a beloved public figure.
"When people experience sudden loss, they may feel shocked, disbelief, confused, and even in denial," Shavonne Moore-Lobban, licensed psychologist, previously told Paste BN. "The suddenness of the loss may be too much to process and feel too unreal for a person to immediately grasp."
Why we get attached to strangers
"Sudden loss can be more shocking and people can feel less 'prepared' than they might with expected loss," Moore-Lobban added. "However, it is still hard to prepare for anything that is life-altering, whether a person knew it was coming."
Many have parasocial relationships with those in the public eye, be it celebrities, politicians or news anchors. You feel close to them like they're your friend or relative.
Just because collective or public grief doesn't match how one might grieve someone close to them, that doesn't make the experience any less real.
"It's a fascinating thing that people don't realize we really can grieve people we didn't know," Kessler added. "And it doesn't mean we're going to grieve them like our spouse or mother, father, or sister or child, but we will grieve them."
How to help someone who may be grieving
If you're trying to comfort someone going through loss, don't try to minimize it or put a timetable to the grieving process.
"There is no limit to grief and because it is a cycle or process, it will continue as long as it needs to for the person who is experiencing it," Moore-Lobban said.
If you're going through loss yourself, talk about it. This "might mean acknowledging it and being open with someone you trust, about how you are feeling," Moore-Lobban said. "It might also include engaging in therapy with a mental health provider, which can be individual or group therapy. Talking about it can also occur by writing, meaning a person can journal about how they feel and what they are thinking."
The deaths of public figures may also serve as opportunities to widen discussions on grief.
"We have a relationship with death that we don't quite know how to explore as a society," Kessler said. "I always tell people the death rate is 100%. So we know we're all going to die someday, intellectually, but we don't know, is death the great enemy? Is it the great comforter, when we're in pain? We sort of don't know how to hold it."
Contributing: Charles Trepany