Bill Murray's comments, that Naomi Watts kiss and why we need to talk about consent
Bill Murray has been the subject of much online discussion as of late.
This week, he appeared on “Watch What Happens Live” alongside Naomi Watts to promote their new film “The Friend.”
Watts was asked about the best movie or TV kiss of her career, and Murray grabbed her face and kissed her. The actress placed her face in her hands as Murray gave the camera a thumbs up.
“You’ve got lipstick on your face,” she said, laughing the kiss off. “Did I go red?”
“That was too easy,” Murray quipped. Watts then responded to the original question, “Of course, it was Billy Crudup, my husband.”
The interaction sparked outrage among some viewers, who called Murray’s behavior “absolutely unacceptable.” Even several of Murray's fans criticized him: “I've been a fan as long as I can remember but it was rough to watch,” one posted on X.
The clip has been circulating at the same time the conversation about a 2022 misconduct allegation against Murray has been reinvigorated. In discussing the incident that led to the production shutdown of the film "Being Mortal" after a woman filed a complaint on set, Murray told the New York Times on April 5, "I certainly thought it was light, and I thought it was funny. To me, it's still funny, the idea that you could give someone a kiss with a mask on. It's still stupid. That's all it was."
Gender studies and sexual violence experts say these public moments are a good opportunity to open a larger conversation about consent, our reactions to public figures and how the examples they set make a difference.
Understanding the 'lived experiences of women'
Murray kissing Watts without asking is "another piece of the everyday, lived experiences of women," explains Leora Tanenbaum, author of the forthcoming book “Sexy Selfie Nation: Standing Up For Yourself in Today's Toxic, Sexist Culture."
The bottom line? Murray could have asked for consent on camera. That would have made waves too, Tanenbaum argues, and it would have served an educational purpose in the process.
"If Murray had looked at Watts and asked her if he could kiss her on live TV, and she had said yes, the result would have been a fantastic moment that could have been comical, respectful, and educational, teaching a lesson about consent," Tanenbaum assesses.
If Murray had asked and allowed Watts to say no, the moment would have been avoided, also sending a message that consent is crucial.
Instead, Tanenbaum says, we wound up with a "TV moment that was worse than cringe."
There's no right way to react
The incident with Watts is also a good reminder that women can react in a myriad of ways to moments that may make them − or those around them − uncomfortable.
Many women don't recognize certain behaviors as inappropriate, especially in the moment. According to a 2016 report by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, 25% of women reported experiencing sexual harassment in the workplace. But after specific behaviors, such as unwanted sexual attention, were described to them, that incidence rate rose to 75%.
Even if the person on the receiving end of certain behaviors appears unbothered, others who view these actions may react differently based on their own experiences.
"Even without a pop culture moment, we need to continue having these conversations," Tanenbaum says.