'Coercive control' is the phrase you won't hear about at the Diddy trial. Why it's still important.
There's no shortage of discussion over the impending New York trial of rapper Sean "Diddy" Combs. One phrase you won't hear during the legal process? "Coercive control."
Combs was arrested in September in Manhattan and charged with racketeering, sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution; he has pleaded not guilty. Jury selection is slated to begin on May 5.
As the trial looms, federal prosecutors and Combs' legal team have clashed over what expert witness testimony the jury will be allowed to hear. Judge Arun Subramanian ruled that psychologist Dawn Hughes is not allowed to discuss "coercive control," which is a type of domestic abuse. She is, however, allowed to discuss coping strategies for victims and why many victims stay in abusive or violent relationships.
The ruling is significant in this case as prosecutors will bring alleged victims of Diddy to testify about abuse, and defense attorneys will try to dispute their statements. Accusers' past communications with Diddy, prior statements about him and anything and everything they've previously said about the allegations are likely to be scrutinized.
"People can lose their perspective when they are under the thumb of an abusive person," says psychologist Lisa Fontes, PhD, author of "Invisible Chains" and a frequent expert witness in cases related to sexual violence and coercive control. "Mr. Combs' wealth and fame gave him an extraordinary amount of power. He is certainly not the first man alleged to have used that power to sexually exploit others."
What is coercive control?
Coercive control is a term popularized by sociologist Evan Stark, who theorized that the way abusers take over victims' lives is similar to the psychological torture and control used on prisoners of war and cult members.
Domestic abuse cases are often discussed in the context of physical and/or sexual violence, but coercive control tactics could include those as well as many others, such as "isolation, intimidation, micromanagement, monitoring, financial, verbal and litigation abuse," Fontes says.
The issue with the way domestic violence is discussed, trauma experts say, is that victims are almost never taken seriously unless they have proof of being physically harmed – coercive control is verbal, psychological and much more difficult to prove in a court of law.
"People don't understand that these psychological tactics are extremely harmful to the brain," says Christine Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, a social worker and advocate who specializes in cases of coercive control and narcissistic abuse. "The brain actually becomes trauma-bonded to these abusers and sadly is not able to really clearly discern between what's healthy and unhealthy. You could take a really healthy person and all of a sudden they're engaged in a really harmful relationship."
Why can't coercive control be discussed during the Diddy trial?
Subramanian has not publicly explained why coercive control cannot be discussed during the trial. But legal experts say it likely has to do with the fact that only seven states in the U.S. have laws about coercive control – California, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, Massachusetts, New Jersey and Wisconsin – but New York, where Combs was charged, does not.
Coercive control is a newer term in the legal world, and is only considered a form of domestic abuse from a legal standpoint in those seven states. (It's also criminalized in the United Kingdom.) And even in those states, Cocchiola notes it's still "very hard" to prove.
When it comes to the Diddy case, there's a chance the prosecution could motion for permission to use the term as the trial continues, says Joan Meier, a clinical law professor and director of George Washington University Law School's National Family Violence Law Center. If not, she believes it's possible to talk around it at the trial and still make an impact.
"If the expert is allowed to testify about why victims don't 'leave' or stay connected, that's mostly attributable to coercive control, so I trust that they will get it in that way," Meier speculates.
Why talking about coercive control matters
Still, talking about coercive control in relation to prominent cases or figures is "really important because it makes sense of things which otherwise don't seem to make sense," Meier says.
Experts in abuse say even people who specialize in helping victims of domestic violence can miss nuance in these conversations because psychological control isn't widely thought of as dangerous and damaging as physical control. Media coverage related to coercive control can help raise awareness.
"People always say, 'Why did you stay?'" Cocchiola says. "And the reality is that victims actually are holding onto hope that things might get better, or they're living in a state of fear that things will definitely get worse when they leave."
Plus, asking someone "why did you stay?" when they have gone through a traumatic relationship could further harm an already harmed person. Not to mention that relationships between victims and alleged abusers are complicated, and trauma bonding may result.
How to identify coercive control in a relationship
If you suspect that you or a loved one might be experiencing a relationship fueled by coercive control, keep these questions in mind. If you identify with one or two questions, that isn't necessarily a cause for concern, but noticing a pattern of identifying with several of them could be a sign of an issue.
"One of the biggest steps is to allow yourself to see these truths," says clinical psychologist and complex trauma expert Ingrid Clayton, PhD, author of the book "Fawning." "To put a pause between noticing this reality and either defending the abuser or taking all the blame."
◾Is this relationship equal?
◾Do you feel criticized or humiliated by this person, but simultaneously seen?
◾Has this person used your vulnerabilities against you?
◾How much control do they have over your life: finances, career, time, social life, etc.?
◾Is this person creating an environment where they're the only one you can count on?
◾Are you walking on eggshells around this person? Can you freely express yourself without fear of retaliation?