What kind of a physical toll does an emotionally abusive relationship take on someone?
Emotional abuse isn't as easy to spot as physical forms of abuse, which may complicate arguments as the trial of Sean "Diddy" Combs continues.
Among several other accusations of physical and sexual abuse, Casandra Ventura Fine, known publicly as pop singer Cassie, alleged during her witness testimony on Tuesday that Combs' controlling behavior went hand-in-hand with the physical abuse experienced at the rapper's "freak offs." She claimed Combs controlled her career and wardrobe, and would call her incessantly and send assistants or security to find her if she didn't respond.
The psychological abuse "was just every day," Ventura Fine said, claiming Combs had major mood swings that left her "not knowing who he was going to be."
Combs was arrested in September 2024 at a Manhattan hotel and was subsequently charged with racketeering, sex trafficking and transportation to engage in prostitution. He has pleaded not guilty to all five counts. The criminal trial emerges as a series of civil lawsuits from dozens of accusers have been aimed at Combs, accusing one of the music industry's most recognizable figures of a pervasive pattern of sexually, physically and emotionally abusive behavior. The allegations span decades and include claims of rape, sexual assault and physical violence.
Emotional abuse "can also be known as 'invisible' abuse because it isn't physical, meaning it's not obvious to the eye," says licensed marriage and family therapist Payal Patel, LMFT. "In fact, most people don't actually even know they are being emotionally abused because of the way it gets minimized."
While an emotionally abusive relationship may be more difficult to identify compared to a physically abusive one, domestic violence experts emphasize that it's just as serious as other types of abuse. Here's what else they want you to know as the Diddy trial continues.
What is an emotionally abusive relationship?
An emotionally abusive relationship is one in which a partner uses non-physical behaviors to "control, isolate or frighten someone," according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
It can be easier to minimize and therefore more difficult to spot, Patel notes. Red flags such as name-calling, humiliation, neglect, gaslighting, screaming or threatening to end the relationship can be swept under the rug. You might think, "Oh my partner is just making fun of me, or oh, they are just upset with me so they need some space and haven't been responding to me," Patel adds.
But emotional abuse can trigger PTSD and other mental health conditions, just as physical abuse can.
"In the 11 years of being a therapist who works with domestic violence and sexual assault, I find emotional abuse to be the most impactful because it has a direct and long-lasting impact on your mental health," she says.
What kind of a physical toll does an emotionally abusive relationship take on someone?
It may be easier to spot the physical toll that physically abusive relationships may take on a person. But experts say there are many physical symptoms that stem from being abused emotionally, as well.
Chronic impacts of emotional abuse can include anxiety, depression, insomnia, binge drinking or substance abuse and muscle tension from flinching or tensing up, Patel says.
Experts say those who have experienced any type of abuse may benefit from talk therapy. Patel recommends seeking a therapist who has specifically trained in working with survivors and has a trauma-informed practice, which integrates understanding of how trauma affects people into the specific treatment.
"It can be a long journey of learning how to build boundaries, learning to trust yourself and others and finding support," Patel says. "But with the right therapist, I have seen many people work through their trauma from emotional abuse and move toward healthier relationships with themselves and others."