Lena Dunham's 'Too Much' on Netflix and our obsession with sex talk
In Lena Dunham's new Netflix comedy "Too Much," sex isn't treated in the way it is in the period-drama fantasies the show's protagonist Jessica (Megan Stalter) adores. There's no Mr. Darcy walking wistfully through the morning mist when she relocates her life from New York City to London following a break up.
Instead, "Too Much" subverts Austenian propriety and makes sex the main catalyst. The show's characters seemingly discuss it constantly, everywhere without constraint: Jessica walks through the London fog on FaceTime with her mother, Lois (Rita Wilson), detailing her sex life with her new British beau. Her coworkers talk about who'd they sleep with at a company party. Jessica's boss Jonno Ratigan (Richard E. Grant) and his wife, Ann (Naomi Watts), joke about oral sex in front of his employees. Her sister's ex-husband, Jameson (Andrew Rannells), laments his sexless life post-parenthood. Even her grandmother, Lois (Rhea Perlman), makes a foot massage suggestive.
Is it all a bit "Too Much"? It might be for you. Or maybe it's just right. Some people are more open to talking about sex and others are not. And while some may find Dunham's approach too extreme to be relatable, the show is a reminder it's best in your own life to gauge comfort and work from there.
"Discomfort isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially when we're watching television or film," said Alicia M. Walker, associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University.
And there's also the chance the show is meant to make us feel like it's too much, she said. When that happens, Walker said, we need to ask ourselves as viewers, "What is this discomfort trying to say to me?"
Is it 'Too Much' sex?
The conversations about sex in "Too Much" aren't that different from the details viewers may have seen on other shows like "Sex and The City" and, of course, Dunham's "Girls." It's where those conversations happen and with whom that make us react, Walker explained. And the messy lack of boundaries is likely a message about society now: We're highly connected online but disconnected in real life.
"And the fact Jessica's a woman," Walker said. "That makes people squirm. ... We still expect women to be private and polished and quiet about their desire, and this show really challenges that."
The degree of sexual oversharing shows that for people who don't have a solid support network, they look to the closest possible space to open up, Walker said.
Take the cue and turn off your phone while watching "Too Much," Walker suggested, and focus on the reason why Dunham filled Jessica's world with highly individualized personalities who grapple so openly with their intimacy. This is what happens to us as innately social beings without social outlets.
"What's happening in the show is a bigger commentary on our social lives in general," she said. "You have to search for [the meaning] between these moments of cringey self-disclosure."
How to talk about sex with the people in your life
For anyone looking to open up more about sex, Walker recommends finding people with whom you can be your true self.
"It's something you have to really practice," Walker said. Jessica speaks out loud, recording videos with her inner thoughts to create a diary of sorts. It's not a bad tactic, Walker noted. "Practicing with yourself is a really important first step. Then look at your relationships and figure who might be a safe person."