Why was Sheen absent from 'Men' finale?

It was the elephant in the studio: Would Charlie Sheen, famously fired from CBS's Two and a Half Men four years ago after a drug-fueled tirade against co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre, reappear in Thursday's series finale?

The answer: No, unless you count a cartoon version of himself or a look-alike who had a piano dropped on him.

"I know a lot of you might be disappointed that you didn't get to see Charlie Sheen in tonight's finale," Lorre wrote in the series' final "vanity" title card after the credits. "For the record, he was offered a role. Our idea was to have him walk up to the front door in the last scene, turn, look directly into the camera and go off on a maniacal rant about the dangers of drug abuse. He would then explain that those dangers only applied to average people. That he was far from average. He was a ninja warrior from Mars. He was invincible.

And then we would drop a piano on him.

We thought it was funny.

He didn't.

Instead, he wanted us to write a heart-warming scene that would set up his return to primetime TV in a new sitcom called The Harpers starring him and Jon Cryer.

We thought that was funny too."

Sheen blew the secret earlier Thursday with a tweet that promoted his appearance on another sitcom, next week's The Goldbergs, and concluded "I go where the love is. #OfCourseImNot." But Lorre hinted that Sheen wouldn't appear, telling Paste BN he hasn't spoken to the actor since he left.