Thriving in retirement: Expert tips to embrace change and reinvent yourself
Legions of federal workers now are pondering a crash-course in retirement planning under President Trump’s drive to slim down the government. Resignation offers spearheaded by the Department of Government Efficiency were extended to more than 2 million federal employees, and tens of thousands have accepted.
It's not yet clear how many of those will turn it into a chance to retire soon, but many might not find it so easy to transition away from permanent employment, especially when they assumed retirement was still five or 10 years away.
Elizabeth Zelinka Parsons took a similar leap years ago when she relinquished her job as a Wall Street attorney in New York working 80-hour weeks to raise what were then her two young children, and moved to Tucson.
“I can truly say I wandered in the desert for three years,” she said in an interview. “I felt like I had lost my identity and life structure.”
In her case, the transition wasn’t permanent, as she reinvented herself and returned to employment as a retirement-transition expert.
A whole industry of financial advisers has emerged to help make sure people can afford to retire. But Zelinka Parsons, author of the new book "Encore: A High Achiever's Guide to Thriving in Retirement," said it’s also important to consider the softer issues of retirement. These include examining one's self-identity, structuring new schedules, expanding social circles and, in short, continuing to grow.
She offers the following tips to make the transition less painful and more fulfilling, whether for federal workers now considering this change or the millions of other Americans who already have dealt with it or will confront it eventually.
Accept feelings of anger and grief
With the end of a fulfilling career can come emotions tied to the loss of purpose, community, routine and professional identity. These are normal feelings, Zelinka Parsons said, adding that it’s wise to confront them by writing about these changes or talking things out, especially with others who are going through similar changes.
Ignoring or suppressing the emotional fallout isn't wise. “Don’t let it harden into permanent bitterness,” she advises.
Recognize retirement as a major life change that can be stressful
The adjustment to retirement can be difficult for anyone. It’s even more disruptive when it comes with little notice, as many federal employees are finding out now. The transition can put stress on your finances, upend your routine, sever social connections and terminate areas of personal interest including projects that you might have been pursuing at work.
Zelinka Parsons suggests trying to frame the change as a bridge to a new life, rather than a cliff that ends the old one.
Redefine and expand your identity
For many people, careers and occupations are intertwined with a sense of self-worth. This is especially true of many professionals. But retirees, with more time on their hands, now have opportunities to expand on other roles or pursue new ones, and to engage with other people.
“As human beings, we like to belong to groups,” Zelinka Parsons said. “Work on understanding how you now fit in the world.”
Find new sources of meaning and engagement
Nobody likes everything about being employed, so try to identify those aspects that you valued most, such as teamwork, social recognition or pursuing valuable objectives. “We really need to feel we are working on worthy goals,” Zelinka Parsons said.
Employment often supplies those, but there are other ways to generate a sense of purpose, contributions and connections. And as you pursue hobbies or personal interests, you will meet other individuals who share similar passions.
Reframe retirement as a “graduation”
Retirement doesn’t need to be viewed simply as an end, as it also can represent a new beginning.
“The word ‘retirement’ suggests a withdrawal with no sense of forward motion,” Zelinka Parsons said. “Drop the notion that you’re pulling away or are retreating into a smaller life,” she added. “Rather, view it as springing into a future that could be better.”
Plan your life beyond finances
It’s important to be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle in retirement — a goal many Americans still need to work on. But she also suggests preparing in other ways such as setting structure to your days and weeks and finding fresh challenges including new means of intellectual stimulation and social connections.
This also might be the time to reactivate dormant friendships with people you knew years or decades ago, including those who also might be retired.
Create structure for your free time
With the loss of schedules and deadlines mandated by employment, it’s important to design new routines, habits and metrics to measure progress in life. It’s an opportunity to ponder what a perfect day might look like, she said. “Give yourself permission to imagine that you’re taking a sabbatical ... that you’re pushing the pause button.”
Regular volunteering or even a part-time job might help to provide structure for your free time, along with hobbies and the like. “I don’t think most people want 365 Saturdays in a row,” she said.
Enjoy the retirement ride
As you let go of the past, remain open to what might be possible in the future. “Let it be more exciting than scary,” Zelinka Parsons said, and try not to default into old habits and routines that you developed to accommodate a work schedule.
Push yourself, if necessary, to get out and about, as social interactions are critical to a successful retirement. “Isolation will take you in the opposite direction,” she said.
Decide how to tap into your nest egg
As for finances, many people will struggle to afford a comfortable retirement lifestyle. Ways to address this challenge include: working a bit longer than planned, investing regularly in 401(k) plans and similar workplace retirement accounts while employed, downsizing your home, taking a part-time job in retirement and delaying Social Security as long as possible, which will allow for higher monthly income when benefits start.
But Zelinka Parsons also sees a contrary problem for some people, especially those entering retirement with large nest eggs. “They struggle with spending it,” she said. “They have trouble moving from a saving to a spending mentality.”
Retirement thus can be the time to consider not only which people or charities you can help but also how to spend it on yourself. “It’s the time to ask, 'What did you save it for?'," she said.
Reach the writer at russ.wiles@arizonarepublic.com.