A stem cell donor from another country saved her life. Seven years later, they finally met
NEW BEDFORD, Massachusetts — If a man 3,000 miles away in Germany hadn't come into New Bedford, Massachusetts, resident Deborah Sousa's life when he did in 2016, she probably wouldn't be here today.
To Sousa, that July seven years ago felt like any other. She had no indication of the news she'd receive that month during a routine check-up at her doctor's office.
"I wasn't even sick," she said of the time she was diagnosed with leukemia at age 62. Aside from a little bit of tiredness she'd been experiencing — which she credited at the time to sunny days working out in her garden — Sousa says she'd observed no reason to suspect something was wrong. "It was just a yearly physical."
After her doctor followed up with her via the phone to share a troubling blood test finding, Sousa went to a cancer specialist who tested her bone marrow, finding that she had leukemia. Even more troubling was the outlook given to Sousa on what she might expect from there, and how soon.
"He told me if I didn't get help right away, I'd be dead in three months," Sousa said. "If I had rescheduled that appointment, I would be dead."
'This guy was such a blessing'
The times that followed were trying for Sousa and her family, to say the least. The next month, on Aug. 1, Sousa began a potent form of chemotherapy to buy as much as time as possible while a much-needed stem cell donor was searched for.
As luck would have it, Sousa's miracle came through just in time. By November, a suitable donor had yet to be identified when a complete stranger in Germany decided to register himself in the database of potential donors for DKMS, one of the world's leading organizations for stem cell transplants.
"He had just donated three days before I needed it," Sousa said, noting that, although they have no blood relation, the donor, then-29-year-old Christian Stöber, was found to be 100% match.
Four months after receiving Stöber's donation, doctors told Sousa she was in remission, and then pronounced her cancer-free about a month after that, she said.
"It's been six, seven years now and I feel great," Sousa said. "I just went for my physical a couple months ago and everything is perfect. Crazy; it's still unbelievable. This guy was such a blessing."
But until last month, the two had never met.
'One big family'
While incredibly grateful to him, it would still be some time before Sousa could personally thank Stöber for saving her life, or even know his name.
"We had to wait two years before we were allowed to contact each other," Sousa said of donor/recipient protocols. "But when I was able to, I sent a letter to Dana Farber, they sent it to the hospital where he donated, and from there we started writing each other, FaceTiming."
"He kept saying he was coming to the U.S. so I told my husband, I don't care where in the country he goes, we're meeting him."
As it turned out, New Bedford would be Stöber's destination when he, his wife Sophie, and their three young children made their first-ever U.S. trip last month — right at the Sousa family residence, to be exact.
"We tried to do everything," Sousa said, noting day outings during that week included visits to Boston, Plymouth and more. Sousa said Stöber was especially happy to take in the history at sites like the Plimoth Patuxet Museums, formerly Plimoth Plantation; and New Bedford Whaling Museum.
"He works for a museum so he was really into that," Sousa said.
While it took some extra work at times for everyone to understand each other, Sousa said language barriers were no hindrance to how connected two families felt to one another.
"It was like we knew each other already. There was no awkward feeling.... It felt like we were one big family," she said. "They're already planning on coming back in two years."
'We've all changed'
If nothing else, Sousa says she hopes her story impresses two points on those who hear it: to never, ever skip a routine doctor's visit, and how desperately stem cells and other vital donations are needed.
"I remember my husband asked Christian what made him want to donate. He said, why wouldn't you?," Sousa said. "I didn't realize myself until this happened to me how important it is."
Now, Sousa says the reminder of life's fickle nature has not been wasted on her or her family.
"We've all changed," she said. "We all look at life differently. We don't pick on little, stupid things, we don't fight as much. I'm just so happy to be alive."
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Interested in donating?
If interested in joining the DKMS donor pool like Stöber, swab kits can be requested online at dkms.org.