Is your 'holiday buzz' impacting your kids? Remember: ‘They’re constantly watching'
For some folks, it's hard to imagine capping off a New Year's Eve with anything other than a champagne toast.
Celebrating the holidays in many families means tipping back a drink or two. Being around adults who are drinking can, in some cases, have a lasting influence on children. Experts say it's important not to ignore that drinking is going on and to clarify for kids that while moderate drinking is normal for adults, it's not meant for kids.
Parents, in other words, should consider how kids perceive them and communicate openly with children about their alcohol intake.
Consuming alcohol, even in moderate amounts, can send the message to younger kids that alcohol is safe for them, too. Parents who drink higher quantities and become intoxicated and unpredictable can also trigger anxiety and trauma in children.
Teens are more likely to experiment and engage in underage drinking if their parents drink at home, said Dr. Kelli Komro, a professor and social and behavioral epidemiologist at the Rollins School of Public Health at Emory University in Atlanta.
She said parents should keep in mind that “they are probably the most important role models for their children.”
You can be cautious and still have a glass of wine at dinner, experts say. You can do that by fostering open communication with children about the dangers of alcohol, establishing clear boundaries about the beer fridge or liquor cabinet, and setting appropriate consequences for children who drink.
How drinking can impact your kids
Children are aware of their parents’ drinking, experts say.
“They’re constantly watching us,” said Dr. Omotola T’Sarumi, a psychiatrist who heads the Division of Depression and Anxiety Disorders at McLean Hospital in Massachusetts. “Children are very wise. We can’t underestimate them. They pick up on things and they can tell.”
A 2017 report found that children in the U.K. were not only aware of their parents’ drinking but also understood their parents' motivations and could identify why they drank.
Researchers from the nonprofit Institute of Alcohol Studies compiled findings from existing research, a public inquiry, focus groups and an online survey that included families of children ages 10 to 17.
Among parents who consumed higher amounts of alcohol, children reported their parents “being more unpredictable than usual, arguing with a parent more than usual, or a disrupted bedtime routine.”
Among parents who drank in moderation, children were more likely to report feeling worried or embarrassed as a result of their parents' drinking if they had seen them tipsy or drunk.
“It may be wrong to assume that negative impacts of parental drinking are only associated with higher levels of consumption,” researchers said.
Another 2022 report shows younger children exposed to their mother or father drinking had gender-specific perceptions about who typically consumed alcohol, which study authors said may have implications for their use of alcohol when they grow up.
Children are “always inquisitive and forming their opinion in what they’re seeing,” said T’Sarumi, who is not affiliated with either study. This natural curiosity could cause children and teens to experiment with substances at earlier ages.
Underage drinking and unintentional consequences
Exposure to alcohol increases the risk of a child drinking as a minor, experts say.
Teens who drink are more likely to experience problems in school as well as social and legal consequences, according to the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. They’re also at increased risk of physical and sexual violence, suicide and homicide, alcohol-related motor vehicle crashes and unintentional injuries like burns, falls and drowning.
Underage drinking is also linked to memory problems, changes in brain development, and misuse of alcohol and other substances. For example, adults 26 and older who began drinking before they were 15 were 3½ times more likely to report having an alcohol use disorder in the past year compared with those who waited until they were 21 or older to drink.
“Drinking during adolescence can impair the way the frontal cortex develops and how it connects to the brain stem in young people,” said George F. Koob, director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. “Impulsivity and cognitive control over emotions can become impaired in adulthood with individuals who have been exposed to a good bit of alcohol as an adolescent.”
Underage drinking continues to be a serious public health problem in the U.S., according to the CDC. The agency documented that excessive drinking is responsible for more than 3,900 deaths in people under age 21 each year, accounting for about 225,000 years of potential life lost.
The 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, involving more than 17,000 respondents, found that at least 23% of high school students reported drinking alcohol in the past 30 days, 11% participated in binge drinking, and 5% drove a vehicle after they had been drinking.
Recent data, however, suggests young people have been taking more precautions around drinking. A review by the International Alliance for Responsible Drinking, a nonprofit dedicated to reducing harmful drinking, found that underage drinking is declining faster in the U.S. than in other countries.
Rates in the U.S. declined 48% among 15- to 16-year-olds from 2011 to 2021. Australia was close behind with a 42% decrease.
“Although it is positive to see downward trends in many countries, there is still much work to be done,” said Henry Ashworth, CEO of the alliance.
What parents can do
For parents who haven't tackled the issue head-on, experts suggest some basic steps they can take to mitigate the negative effects of their drinking and still enjoy a glass of wine or bubbly from time to time.
Communication is key, said Komro from Emory University.
“It’s important for parents to have good, open communication,” she said. “Talk about what’s going on and the age of appropriateness of alcohol use and why the drinking age set at 21 is to protect young people’s developing brain.”
Parents should also establish clear boundaries regarding alcohol and communicate the consequences of underage drinking.
The most important thing parents can do is model good behavior, experts said. Parents should know the standard drinking amounts for beer, wine and liquor and curb consumption to the nationally recommended limit of two drinks a day for men and one drink a day for women, Koob said.
“Parents have to remember whatever they do is what their children will mimic,” he said. “If they start drinking and misusing alcohol, getting tipsy in front of the kids, that sets up a pattern that they’re going to emulate.”
Send tips to Adrianna Rodriguez: adrodriguez@usatoday.com