5 craziest crimes of the week

Drugs, alcohol, and ... quiche? Just some of themes running through this week's craziest crime stories:

1. Guy steals ambulance to get home, say cops: Here's how you take your arrest on an open container charge and snowball it into something much, much worse.

2. Surgeon allegedly steals heroin from drug mule's stomach: Police in Siberia say a doctor who removed drugs from a smuggler's stomach kept a little something for himself.

3. 392 pot plants found at Heidi Fleiss' home: From Hollywood madam to Nevada pot baron? Police found 392 marijuana plants at Heidi Fleiss' home in Pahrump. She faces multiple drug-related charges, but she managed to escape arrest thanks to ... her many exotic birds.

4. Police in 5-hour standoff with ... quiche thieves: A pair of hungry thieves faced off against police for five hours after reportedly breaking into a U.K. cafe for a bite of quiche. Things didn't end so well for them.

5. Cops: Drunk cowboy rides horse into a bar: A "highly intoxicated" Louisiana cowboy brought home the top prize in his own personal rodeo: Charges of battery, public intimidation, and disturbing the peace. And yes, he did lasso a "male victim."

Read about more weird crimes on Newser, a Paste BN content partner providing general news, commentary and coverage from around the Web. Its content is produced independently of Paste BN.