For hotshots' families, a cruise is just right for season

PHOENIX — Michelle Parker was on her knees in the departure area of Terminal 2 at Sky Harbor International Airport on Wednesday, digging through her hard-shell silver suitcase for a picture of her son, Wade.

He was one of the 19 Granite Mountain Hotshots who were killed in the Yarnell Hill Fire in 2013.

"We take him with us everywhere," said his father, Dan Parker.

Now they had packed his picture among their things for a nine-day cruise along Europe's Danube River.

In all, 19 family members and their guests were leaving on flights Wednesday morning that would take them first to Munich and then Regensburg, Germany. There, they would board a cruise ship that would visit Passau, Germany; Linz and Vienna, Austria; Bratislava, Slovakia; and Budapest, Hungary.

The cruise was arranged by a Boston company that has offered trips like this before, to wounded soldiers and families of fallen soldiers, police and firefighters.

The timing was perfect, the Parkers said. The families are facing their second Christmas without their son.

"I don't think it ever gets easier, especially at holidays when the family all gets together, because there's always going to be someone missing," Dan Parker said.

Wade would always help decorate the Christmas tree. His mother forced herself to go through the motions last year, with the help of Wade's fiancée, Alicia Owens, and for her grandchildren. They all miss him.

As Juliann Ashcraft waited to check her luggage, she recalled how she and her husband, Andrew, took a cruise around the Hawaiian Islands for their honeymoon.

In the seven years they were married, Andrew would look up cruises on the computer almost every month and show his wife.

Something always kept them from going — the cost, work or the kids. But someday, he would say.

So when Ashcraft received the offer to go on this cruise, she couldn't help but think of Andrew and that maybe it was meant to be.

"I'm going to see things he would want to see, do things he would want to do," she said

Roxanne Warneke, whose husband, Billy Warneke, was one of the newest members of the hotshot crew, flew out of Tucson on Wednesday bound for Europe. On Monday, as she packed to go, Warneke said the timing of the trip just before the holidays was perfect.

Billy had loved Christmas. As a child, he and his Nana had baked a cake and sang "Happy Birthday" to Jesus every year. As an adult, Billy had bought toys to give to the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Foundation and put money in every red Salvation Army pail he passed.

"He always gave, and never asked for anything," Warneke said.

Last Christmas, her first without him, was difficult. She felt too numb to celebrate.

"This year I'm feeling more optimistic about the holiday," Warneke said.

A cruise, with all the extras, valued at $4,295 per person, might seem like an odd gift for a grieving spouse or parent. It's just one of the many things the families have been offered — gifts, free meals, services, invitations and other opportunities to travel.

Patricia Lewis, vice president of special events for Vantage, the Boston company that runs the Danube cruise, said her organization chose this as a way to give thanks — to families of fallen public safety officers and military members.

"Who do you give back to? The people who take care of us. The people who protect us," she said. "You give back to their families; they've given so much for our sake."

Michelle Parker recently returned from a six-day trip to New York with a group of mothers of the hotshots. It was paid for by the 100 Club of Arizona, a non-profit that helps families of fallen law enforcement and fire personnel.

Executive director Sharon Knutson-Felix said the time the women spent together was healing. "We pay for counseling, and that trip may have been better than counseling," she said. She is taking a group of the men's widows on the same trip this week.

Dan Parker said he and his wife were looking forward to the getaway. "We probably never would have done something like this," he said. Neither had traveled to Europe before.

Michelle Parker, unable to find where she had tucked the photo of her son away in their suitcases, had instead pulled out her phone. She opened up photos of Wade and began showing them to the rest of the group.

"It's been an amazing experience," Dan Parker said. After a pause, he added, "I would trade it all for five more minutes with him."