After months of captivity in Cleveland, the appeal of death
CLEVELAND — For Amanda Berry, it was a cord around her neck. For Gina DeJesus, it was a dangerous game of Russian roulette.
About four months after being abducted by Ariel Castro and being repeatedly raped and abused by him, first Berry and then DeJesus decided they would prefer to die. They describe those desperate days in their new book, Hope: A Memoir of Survival in Cleveland, being published Tuesday by Viking, and in an interview with Paste BN.
In August 2003, Berry demanded that Castro either let her go or let her die.
He brought the cord from an old vacuum cleaner, wrapped it around her neck, and began to tighten it. "I was actually really ready to go," she recalls. "I was praying, 'Please, Lord, forgive me, but take care of my family.' But I was just ready."
But Castro wouldn't do it. He let go of the cord and stormed away. That was a moment when she decided she had to outlast him.
For DeJesus, in August 2004, Castro came into the living room with a gun, put in a single bullet, spun the chamber, and challenged them to play Russian roulette. He had been drinking beer.
"At that moment I was, like, I have nothing to lose," DeJesus says. "He's not letting me go home." She told him, "Let's play it." First he put the gun to her temple and pulled the trigger. Click. To her surprise, he then lets her hold the gun and put it to his temple. She pulled the trigger. Click.
She shakes her head, regretful still. "It was, like, man, if I could have just killed him."
Nearly nine more years would pass before the two young women finally would be freed.