Death becomes her: More women are becoming funeral directors
Women made up 72% of funeral services graduates in 2022. Why are they drawn to the industry and what do they bring to the service?
Allyse Worland was a child when she went to a family member's funeral.
"His presentation was not pleasant," she said. "It was unacceptable. And it was very traumatic for the family." Worland, just 9 years old, made up her mind that she wanted to become a funeral director to spare other families the pain hers had experienced.
When she was older, she knocked on the doors of every funeral home in her rural Indiana county. She was turned away each time, she said, until she came to one with a a female funeral director.
"She taught me the basics," Worland said. "It was a great example of one woman opening a door for another one."
Today, Worland is vice president of Lauck & Veldhof Funeral & Cremation Service, a small family-owned firm in Indianapolis, and a member of the National Funeral Directors Association.
She's also one of a growing number of women breaking ground in a field that was once considered a man's domain: working with the dead for the benefit of the living. In 2022, 77% of the more than 7,000 students enrolled in funeral service education programs in the U.S. were women.
'That's what men do, right?'
Lanae Strovers, like Worland, became a funeral director after seeing how not to do the job.
"I had a very good friend and he passed away in tragic circumstances, and the funeral was horrible," she told the Des Moines Register, part of the Paste BN Network. "It just didn't have anything to do with him. You could just tell there wasn't a lot of effort that was put into it."
Upset by the experience, she googled "How to be a funeral director," and a new career was born. She is now a funeral director for Hamilton Funeral Homes in Des Moines and a trainer for the National Funeral Directors Association.
She knew the industry was traditionally male-dominated. Her father said, "That's what men do, right?" when she told her parents about her new career.
"It's one of those things that in the last couple years has really been changing," she said. "That traditional funeral is kind of going to the side."
She and Worland said people are searching for more individualized funerals that reflect their values and identities.
"People want that more creative, almost that party-planning aspect of it, and ... a lot more of grief therapy and follow-up," said Strovers, who started a nonprofit, The Final Salute, to help veterans and their family members whose remains go unclaimed.
What women bring to the funeral industry
Worland has been in the funeral industry for 16 years. She holds degrees in mortuary science and management, and she has seen the changes in who's entering the business.
"I've seen a lot of younger women, but also women who go into this as a second career, who find their calling later," she said. Once a vocation that was passed down through families, funeral services are attracting more first-generation students, such as her and Strovers.
She sees women's traditional role as caregivers as an advantage, noting that before hospitals, hospices and nursing homes, the dying were usually cared for and tended to at home by women: wives, mothers, aunts, daughters.
"I think of it as coming full circle," she said. "People see women as more compassionate, and we have a different eye for things."
She concedes she has encountered some discrimination, mostly from people who think she can't handle the physical demands of the job. Asked whether people had any misconceptions, she joked, "We don't all look like Lurch from 'The Addams Family.'"
She said she wants more people to understand that "we have lives outside the funeral home, and we are fighting our own battles."
Helping others process their loss and grief can take an emotional toll on funeral workers, too, she said.
"But we love our families and we love our communities, and that's what it's really about," Worland said. "There's a reason we're here. We are here to guide you, and we'll be there every step of the way."
How does one start a funeral services career?
A mortuary science degree is usually a two-year associate's degree offered at schools across the country. The American Board of Funeral Service Education Inc. has a list on its website of schools it has accredited, and courses range from technical subjects such as microbiology, anatomy, embalming and restorative techniques to courses dealing with business practices, management, psychology, grief and ethics. Some schools offer bachelor's degrees as well.
Licensing requirements can vary by state, and some states require additional licenses for different aspects of mortuary science and funeral direction, such as cremation, running a funeral home or embalming, according to Indeed.com. Many funeral directors and morticians work as interns or apprentices at established funeral homes to gain professional experience.
What does a funeral director do?
Funeral director or morticians work with loved ones to make the deceased's final arrangements, whether that involves burial, cremation or other ways of laying someone's remains to rest; planning services; and completing the required paperwork.
Duties also can include preparing the person's remains for a viewing or burial; offering support for loved ones; helping pre-plan funeral arrangements for those who wish to do so; conducting services and memorials; and working with clergy members and houses of worship to ensure adherence to religious and cultural traditions.
How much do funeral directors and morticians make?
Morticians make an average salary of $56,126 a year, according to Indeed.com. That can vary widely, though: The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics says the median salary for morticians, undertakers and funeral arrangers in Rhode Island is $84,120, while the same professionals make a median salary of $33,040 in Texas.