For the Record: Get ready to rumble
Are you ready to rumble? Tonight’s Republican presidential debate is expected to be a bare-knuckles brawl between Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina, who got a campaign boost after Trump criticized her looks – er, persona, as Trump later claimed – in a Rolling Stone interview.
Our Magic 8 Ball says
GOP Throwdown 2.0 (The One Before Everyone Stops Caring) will go a little like this: Donald Trump will say something snide about Carly Fiorina. She’ll smile and verbally pat him on the head. Some other candidates will say some stuff (wait – there are other people at this event?) but the analysis afterward will be all about Trump, Fiorina and gender politics. If you’re Debate Drinking, down a shot whenever the words “misogyny” or “menstrual cycle” are uttered.
When the Jewish guy courts evangelicals
Stuff like this rarely happens, but it’s cool when it does. Democrat Bernie Sanders made it a point to speak at the uber-conservative Liberty University, not because Sanders thought he could win their votes, but because the Jewish self-described socialist said he wanted to seek common ground with an audience that passionately disagrees with him. Sanders quoted scripture to make the case for helping the poor, a point even the most right-wing students favorably received.
When will then be now?
You know that scene in “Spaceballs” where Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz are watching the video of the movie as it was being filmed? “When will then be now?” Helmet asks. “Soon,” Sandurz replies. Yeah, the exchange between President Obama and potential voters in Iowa was kind of like that. Obama said he wasn’t ready to tell people who to vote for, but that he’d jump in with recommendations “later” when the field narrowed. “I just can’t imagine what kind of person would put themselves through something like this,” he said of all those goobers silly enough to do what he did. Twice.
Oh, so you DO want to talk taxes
Last week, we noted the big sucking sound coming from most candidates on taxes. Well, the void must have finally reached the ears of their speechwriters. Because Jeb Bush and Donald Trump, at least, are now all over the subject. Bush unveiled a plan to – say what? – raise taxes on carried interest, making it tougher for big hedge-fund types to use debt to make profits. (It’s a wonky argument; we’ll spare you the details.) Meanwhile, Trump has promised to lower taxes on corporations and middle-income people, with more details on how he’d do that to come – say it with us – soon.
All hail, President Meme
Because you can find all sorts of wisdom on Facebook, we leave you with the latest promising candidate to get into the race: Meme 2016. “I feel like this country is almost ready for a virtual president,” he/she/it explains. “Why even bother with a human when all people want is media?" True dat.