For the Record: Who's the smartest of them all?

joannaallhands | UsaToday

If your IQ doesn't fall by at least 5 points after reading today's For the Record, you're not doing it right.

A whole new round of “Bushisms”

W’s been out of office for – what – six years? And there are still Twitter accounts actively spoofing the funny things he said during his presidency. Now, there’s an opportunity to start a whole new line of Bushisms with brother Jeb. Like our former president, the Republican candidate has a knack for not exactly saying what he means. Witness the “stuff happens” fiasco after last week’s mass shooting in Oregon – which, oddly enough, sparked deep social-media debates over whether Bush was guarding against knee-jerk legislation in the wake of tragedy or saying that government shouldn’t try to prevent bad things from happening. ABC News has a helpful guide to interpreting Jeb’s misspeaks, and the New Yorker is asking whether W actually was the smarter of the Bushes. Ouch.

Democrats have more better grammar than Republicans

If your always yelling at people for there butchery of the English language, take you’re blood-pressure medicine before logging onto any Republican candidate pages on Facebook. Grammarly analyzed comments from supporters, dinging any who made crucial spelling, punctuation or subject-verb agreement mistakes. The tally weren’t even close, Democrat supporters were way more better in typing than their Republican comrades. We’ll blame it on fat fingers and autocorrect ...

Speaking of which: Let’s talk higher education!

Candidates love college. Knowledge + a degree = good for ‘Merica. But ask them for their formula to tackle mounting student debt, and the math varies widely. Democrat Bernie Sanders wants to make public colleges and universities tuition free, for example, while Republican Ben Carson says the answer lies in students working, not government picking up the tab. Republican Marco Rubio is somewhere in between, according to an analysis from The Rocky Mountain Collegian, with a plan that ties repayments to graduates’ income, among other ideas.

If a Clinton calls out the NRA, does it make a sound?

Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton has promised to use executive orders to expand background checks and generally make the NRA’s life miserable if elected. You’d think those would be fighting words for the gun-rights organization, which has used lesser threats to shake out a few extra donations from members. But no. It’s generally been crickets from the NRA – both on her plan to usurp Congress and her promise to beat down the organization, cage-match style. Apparently, the organization doesn’t take her threats that seriously?

And if you still don’t like any of these dudes

Maybe you’re still bummed that you can’t vote for Deez Nuts because the kid behind the name is only 15. But don’t worry! More than 1,200 candidates have filed paperwork to run for president, and the list is filled with gems. There’s Dat Phat A$$. And KC Matzo Balls. Even Left Shark – the dancing shark from Katy Perry’s Super Bowl performance – has thrown his (her? its?) name into the ring. No word on whether Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner has made a bid for the Oval Office, but if he does, he’s so clutch.

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