For the Record: Watch the exploding head

Did you know that at this very moment, scientists in an ultra-secret government lab are calculating how quickly Donald Trump’s head would explode if he ever backtracked or admitted he was wrong?

The Donald continues to stand by his assertion that everyone supports his idea to ban all Muslims from entering the U.S., even though just about everyone except Ted Cruz has strongly condemned the idea.

Which makes us wonder: What will Trump have to say or do to make voters think he’s utterly un-electable? While Team FTR ponders the possibilities, sign up to get this newsletter in your inbox and follow Joanna, Brett and Jessica on Twitter. It’s a much better use of your time.

MEANWHILE, ON ISSUES THAT MATTER

Because calculations on Trump’s possibly exploding head have sucked up the government’s meager research budget, bureaucrats have outsourced research on what Hillary Clinton will have to do to refocus attention on jobs and the economy to a Vegas bookie named Sal. Sal tells us the smart money is on Hillary doing cartwheels in clown makeup while barking like a seal. But if you don’t trust Sal, maybe you should just read about Hillary’s plans to crack down on companies that offshore profits to avoid paying U.S. taxes (cough: Pfizer), courtesy of Paste BN’s Heidi Przybyla. It involves taxing companies that move overseas and funneling the proceeds into U.S. manufacturing and infrastructure.

DEBATE STRATEGY: HIDE THE GLASSES

You know all candidates have a file somewhere at campaign headquarters (or maybe lurking in a private e-mail account) tabulating opponents’ weaknesses and how to exploit them. We imagine every file contains this gem about Marco Rubio’s water-drinking thing. As Politico reports, Rubio needs water to speak – but not in water bottles or stemmed glasses. And if he doesn’t get it just so, it completely throws off his delivery. Somewhere in Jeb(!)’s camp, you think they’re secretly plotting to “misplace” all the non-stemmed water glasses for next week’s debate?

THE FEMALE FACTOR

So, is this a feminist victory or defeat? Republican women aren’t planning to vote for Carly Fiorina just because she’s the lone woman in the race. They are looking deeply at her policies and ideas. But that’s hurt her candidacy because her stances are largely indistinguishable from her male counterparts. Fiorina contends that she could wipe the floor with Hillary Clinton in a debate, and she did well in early GOP debates. But she’ll need to appeal to more women if she wants that opportunity, or so the experts say. Kathleen Grey of the Detroit Free Press has more.

MORE FROM THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

• Trump to visit Israel, country braces for possible international incident (Paste BN On Politics)
• GOP schedules yet another debate for Jan. 14; pundits wonder if Fox Business Network seriously has nothing better to broadcast (Paste BN On Politics)
• Marco Rubio lassos the support of another billionaire. Left unanswered: In a year of Trump dominance, do deep pockets even matter? (Paste BN On Politics)
• Poll: Two-thirds of Trump supporters would vote for him if he bolts the GOP; candidates secretly dream about what the party would look like without them (Paste BN On Politics)
• After the White House called Trump unfit for office, Rand Paul listicles 10 reasons why Obama doesn’t deserve it, either (Paste BN On Politics)