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For the Record: Finding a forever home for every candidate

Brett McGinness ,  Jessica Estepa ,  Joanna Allhands   | Paste BN

After CNN went through all the trouble of rounding up 13 of the 16 presidential candidates into one place, one of them managed to dig a hole under the fence and now they’re out running all over the country … Ankeny, Carson City, Mesa, Reno, Jimmy Kimmel Live. Sorry, everyone! We went out and bought some sturdy bricks to block the hole until we can pour some concrete. In the meantime, if you see a candidate out and about, talk to them in a soothing voice, try to gain their trust, and don’t try to approach them – let them come to you. Remember, they’re more scared of you than you are of them.

The best way to help us track down all the candidates is to subscribe to the daily For the Record newsletter, and to follow the trained FTR technicians on Twitter (@RGJBrettMcG, @joannaallhands and @jmestepa).

Don’t bring your facts in here, we’re trying to have a debate

The good folks at FactCheck.org spent hours poring over transcripts to figure out if there were any inaccuracies during last night’s GOP debate, and damned if they didn’t find a handful. Among their findings, Jeb Bush said Donald Trump didn’t want to go after ISIS at all. Not true, says FactCheck.org; Trump has made clear that he wants to attack ISIS in Iraq, just not Syria. Ted Cruz claimed Marco Rubio co-sponsored a bill which would have allowed refugees into the U.S. without “any background checks whatsoever.” Not true, they say; the bill actually would have required the refugees to go through a screening process. And Lindsey Graham claimed that we were spending $350 billion each year “to buy oil from people who hate our guts” – but the FactCheck.org team points out that 37% of our oil comes from Canada, and 9% comes from Mexico. So wait … we should count Graham’s statement as true, then?

“How to Politician,” by Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton is in Iowa to shore up her 9% lead on Bernie Sanders in the first-in-the-nation Iowa caucuses. Over the next few weeks, her goal is to maintain her lead without giving an opening to either Bernie Sanders or Martin O’Malley on the big issues, including how to handle ISIS. Recent polls show that among Iowa Democrats, a 69% plurality supports some possibility of military intervention, while 26% are against any sort of action. So how do you craft a message that makes it sound like you’re siding with everyone all at once? “Don’t send the American military any place we shouldn’t send them, to do anything that is not appropriate. I feel very strongly about this,” Clinton told an Iowa crowd on Wednesday. Nailed it.

Everyone listen up, we’re only going to do this once: We have Jim Gilmore news

Jim Gilmore – the Republican candidate that has trouble breaking into polls, let alone debates – has some big news … he won the lottery-style drawing that will place his name at the top of Massachusetts’ primary ballots. Looks like his master plan is coming together: “That strategy includes being on the ballot in New Hampshire, South Carolina, Florida and Virginia. And we’re on all of those ballots, we’re also on Tennessee and now we’re happy to be included in Massachusetts," Gilmore told the Boston Herald, which is a bit like saying your strategy for winning the Super Bowl is giving your players directions to the stadium. Gilmore should do extremely well among voters who are politically active enough to head to the polls, but too lazy to read past the first name.

More from the campaign trail

The first in Donald Trump’s line of “I Can Read, Jerks” children’s books

​Jimmy Kimmel ghostwrote (ghostwrited?) a Dr. Seuss-style children’s book for Trump, entitled “Winners Aren't Losers.” Classy book, probably the greatest children’s book ever.

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