Perks and Rec: 5 sales you should return your Christmas gifts for

It's upon us: the annual "new year, new you" post-Christmas, pre-NYE inbox spam. When the clock struck seven, my phone started a-buzzing with those automated marketing emails:

"Looking back at the best tech of 2023" (Played out story theme, buddy. But I think it was the Apple MacBook Air reboot.)

"The best workout apps and digital scales for 2024" (Excuse me!? Although the Garmin Index S2 has changed my life...)

"100 most popular clothing picks of 2023" (Puhleez. I own seven shirts and four are the same color. I'm loving my running tops this winter, though.)

Yes. Christmas music makes my head hurt, I've just wrapped up two weeks of arguing about politics with my extended family, and the cost of boarding my dog while I traveled was upwards of four figures. Yet, today's inbox spam quickly became my least favorite part of the year.

"It's okay, Ben. Just write about the post-Christmas sales. Everyone's doing it."

— Literally Everybody

NOPE. It ends here. This is going to be the most unconventional email series of your week, and it's going to make you giggle your way into 2024. You like giggling, right?

So here's the theme for today: 5 sales you should return your Christmas gifts for. Unconventional? Yes. Still retail-oriented? Sure. Rude? Maybe. But if the people buying you socks, toothbrushes, and weird kitchen gadgets really love you, they'll understand if you return them to buy noise-canceling headphones to prep for the 2024 holiday season. It's never too early to plan, right? Besides, you can blame me if they find out.

Dust off those gift receipts, my friend!

— Ben Garves, Rogue AgentReviewed, part of the USAT Today Network