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For the Record: Summarizing the unwatched debate

Brett McGinness ,  Jessica Estepa ,  Joanna Allhands   | Paste BN

Welcome to the week in politics, For the Record crew! After a big week with debates in both parties, let’s check in on the polls to see how the landscape has changed … looks like it’s, um, Donald Trump and Ben Carson in the lead for the Republicans, and Hillary Clinton with a big lead over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic field. Huh. So literally nothing has changed in the past seven days? When we think of how many hours we’ve wasted watching the debates, the mini-debates, the post-debate analysis … ugh. And it’s still another 11 weeks until the first voting begins. We need a major scandal, stat.

While we’re loading up on caffeine to prevent dozing off, you can follow the For the Record crew on Twitter (@jmestepa, @joannaallhands, @RGJBrettMcG) and sign up for For the Record in your inbox six days a week.

KEEPING DEBATE VIEWERSHIP RECORDS WELL OUT OF HARM'S WAY

The Des Moines debate was never going to be a huge ratings win for CBS – Saturday, 9 p.m. EST, no Trump factor. It may not have been the most-watched event among Iowans on Saturday night. So what did you miss while you were busy doing something much more interesting?

ALL THE HIGHLIGHTS: Paste BN’s Heidi Przybyla neatly summarizes all the major topics of discussion, listed off Memento-style in reverse order. If you don’t want spoilers, start at the bottom and work your way up. Spoiler alert: There were no spoilers to speak of.

FEWER HIGHLIGHTS, BUT ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SOUND SMART: The Des Moines Register’s Jennifer Jacobs has 10 takeaways from the debate – including several missteps and missed opportunities for all three candidates.

EVEN FEWER HIGHLIGHTS: But who has time for 10 takeaways? Paste BN’s David Jackson narrows it down to just six. Sanders and Martin O’Malley took some swings; Hillary touted her foreign policy credentials while her opponents played up her close ties to Wall Street and the 1% crowd.

LEADING OFF WITH PARIS: As former secretary of state, Clinton could have crushed the biggest foreign policy question on everyone’s minds … and came out with a rather flat emphasis on an American-led coalition against ISIS. She still won the question by default, since neither Sanders nor O’Malley has any similar experience, but still. Come on, Hil, this was in your wheelhouse.

THREE DEMOCRATS = FIVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS ON GUNS: Congress has shielded gun manufacturers from being found liable for gun deaths; meanwhile, the so-called “gun show loophole” gives the ability for buyers to purchase guns while avoiding background checks. O’Malley wants to lift the lawsuit shield; Bernie says he has backed closing the loophole for decades; and Hillary got attacked by O’Malley for her gun control positions in past years.

MARX, ENGELS AND EISENHOWER: Tax the wealthy, build a highway system, wait several decades, and you get called a socialist. Bernie Sanders delivered a defense of his left-wing socialist ways by noting Republican Dwight D. Eisenhower’s massive public works project, paid for by a 90% top tax rate on the wealthiest Americans under Ike.

WE THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER: FactCheck.org went through the candidates’ claims on tax rates, unemployment and income equality and found several errors. This is why math tests are rarely oral exams. Maybe we should make it an open-book debate next time?

OBAMA: ‘I LOVE YOU ALL EQUALLY’: President Obama is holding back on endorsing one of the three Democratic candidates, saying “It’s important for the process to play itself out” and “I’m confident that we’re going to have a good, strong Democratic candidate.” For candidates looking to avoid the “Obama’s third term” label, they might be perfectly OK with seeing the president stay on the sidelines.

SOME GUY SHOWED UP IN A BERNIE SANDERS PUPPET COSTUME THING: Either that, or a Disney cast member got lost on the way to EPCOT Center’s “Caucuses are Magical” parade.

WELL, ALL RIGHT

Meanwhile, on the other side of the spectrum …

NEXT: CRUZ ADDRESSES UNEMPLOYMENT RATES IN GREENLAND

Ted Cruz does all the voices in the “mostly dead” scene in “The Princess Bride,” and pretty much nails the Billy Crystal voice. We’re still wondering … how did this come up, exactly?

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