For the Record: #HolidayGiftGuide, politics style

Happy #BlackFriday, For the Record peeps! We hope you are full of turkey and mashed potatoes and that you didn't get into too many arguments with your drunk relatives (unless you were the drunk relative, in which case, we salute you).

Before you saunter off to fight the masses for that brand new electronic thingamabob, give us a follow on Twitter (@jmestepa, @RGJBrettMcG, @joannaallhands) and subscribe to FTR six days a week!

The madness that is this great day of consumerism has already begun, and in honor of that, we've looked through the products on the candidates' websites to help you find something for the political junkie in your life.

Jeb(!) Bush

Jeb(!)'s campaign store is filled with exclamation points galore, but we challenge you to look beyond the punctuation and instead pick up a Guaca Bowle.

Price: $75
Made in America: Obviously
What we learned from looking at this item: Jeb(!) has a secret guac recipe. Perhaps he should start busting this out on the campaign trail.

Ben Carson

Do you want to get a certain baby on the right path early? The "Future Neurosurgeon and President" onesie might be up your alley.

Price: $20
Made in America: Unclear
What we learned from looking at this item: A little about the man's confidence. "Follow in Ben's footsteps," the site reads.

Hillary Clinton

We all mocked Hillary's funny "H" logo when it came out. But for the bakers in your life, that oddly shaped letter may be just what they need to add to their cookie cutter set. H arrow cookies forever! Or at least the 2016 cycle.

Price: $10
Made in America: Yep
What we learned from looking at this item: "H is for Homemade"

Ted Cruz

Coloring is so trendy, and don't worry, y'all -- Ted Cruz is on it. "We 'C' Ted Cruz for President" also includes activities, so says its cover.

Price: $10
Made in America: Shrug
What we learned from looking at this item: Not much. It actually made us ask more questions: Whose idea was this? What pictures are we coloring in? What are these activities? How many times can you color an American flag before it gets boring?

Carly Fiorina

Pets needs love, too, which is why Fiorina has an entire section at her store dedicated to dog shirts. If you're looking for versatility, you can go with a "Hillary Who?" shirt for your dog, because that works no matter who wins the GOP nomination.

Price: $27
Made in America: No clue
What we learned from looking at this item: Sizing matters! There's a detailed size chart to help you figure out which one would work best for your pup.

Mike Huckabee

Remember when Huckabee ran for president in 2008? You can commemorate that (and, you know, his current campaign) with an "I Like Mike" button. Bonus: when you buy 10 or more of them, you get a volume discount.

Price: $4.50
Made in America: Yah
What we learned from looking at this item: It is scratch-resistant, like "your mamma's frying pan."

John Kasich

Most of Kasich's stuff is pretty standard, so we went for the one thing that wasn't like the others: a tumbler, for some of your beverage needs.

Price: $10
Made in America: USA! USA! USA!
What we learned from looking at this item: You can get a logo on anything.

Martin O'Malley

When we read "O'M," we think of yoga class, but we suppose you could think of O'Malley, too. And that's why he put it on a T-shirt.

Price: $30
Made in America:  Who knows
What we learned from looking at this item: A new chant. "Give me an 'O'/Give me an 'APOSTROPHE'/M-A....L-L....E-Y/What's that spell?  O'MALLEY!"

Rand Paul

There's a lot of stuff out there about being anti-Hillary, but this thing on Paul's site probably takes the cake: Hillary's Hard Drive with a wiping cloth. Best snap it up quick -- there are a limited number available.

Price: $59.95
Made in America: Probably?
What we learned from looking at this item: "Buyer beware, this product has had heavy use and it currently is no longer working, but that doesn't mean it's not valuable to someone."

Marco Rubio

We love a good pun, and so does the Rubio camp, which is why the "Water Great Nation" water bottle exists.

Price: $30
Made in America: Mhmm.
What we learned from looking at this item: Rubio's team knows what the USA looks like, unlike some other candidates we know.

Bernie Sanders

Let us reiterate: puns are the best. And the fact that it took this long to find a candidate who used "totes votin'" on a tote bag is a little sad, and that's why it gets a shout out here.

Price: $27
Made in America: Yes
What we learned from looking at this item: It's organic!

Rick Santorum

It is slim pickings on the Santorum site (like, we're talking six items), so we guess a bumper sticker will do? It has an eagle on it?

Price: $5
Made in America: No idea
What we learned from looking at this item: People put bumper stickers on pontoons?

Donald Trump

Do we even have to tell you? If you're going to get anything from the Donald, it should probably be a #MakeAmericaGreatAgain hat. There are so many colors to choose from. Our pick: the camo one. Because America.

Price: $30
Made in America: Yessir
What we learned from looking at this item: Nothing that we didn't already know.

Chris Christie, Jim Gilmore, Lindsey Graham, George Pataki

No stores for these men. Gentlemen, how can you get your swagger back if you don't have swag?

MORE FROM THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

• Trump finds another way to offend people (Paste BN)
• There's nothing more dangerous than a Rubio with charm (Des Moines Register)
• Deported immigrants may feel the Bern (Burlington Free Press)

Enjoy your crazy shopping day!