For the Record: Four-week holding pattern begins ... now
Happy holidays, everyone, especially for front-runners Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. We’re still several weeks out from voting, but most of the country is about to mentally check out from politics until about Jan. 4; those two can just coast for the next month or so. We still have two December debates, and the GOP establishment is going to try standing in front of Trump and wave their arms around frantically, Charlie Brown Christmas-style, hoping he’ll magically turn into an acceptable mainstream candidate. But other than that, it's Dullsville.
If you want to watch three political writers flail around trying to make this race sound exciting for the next four weeks, you’re in luck. You can subscribe to the For the Record newsletter here, and follow us on Twitter (@RGJBrettMcG, @joannaallhands and @jmestepa.)
Obama's speech: Armchair presidents weigh in
Last night, President Obama addressed the nation, covering what we know so far about the San Bernardino attacks, including the fact that “San Bernardino” has not one, but two Rs in it. Obama reiterated several points that have been made in the days since the attacks – we will destroy ISIS, we will throw everything we have at the threat, and we must not fear our Muslim neighbors. Then the future occupants of Obama’s office chimed in, saying future attacks will be prevented with more guns and less guns, and that ISIS will be defeated by carpet bombing and that bombing won’t do a thing; also, we shouldn’t even be focused on ISIS in the first place. Welp, this crowdsourced plan sounds pretty damn foolproof. Let’s get on it!
Willkie wants to rise from the dead and take another shot at this
Analysts and number-crunchers have been saying for months that there’s no way Donald Trump will get the nomination, because no business-world outsider with zero political experience has ever won the GOP nomination except for that one time when that’s exactly what happened. A confidential memo intended for Republican candidates for U.S. Senate lays out the strategy for how to handle Trump. Step 1: Steal all his ideas, like being authentic and straightforward. Step 2: If Trump is the Republican nominee for president, don’t waste time trying to formulate a response to every controversial Trump quote between now and next November.
More like “Make Louisiana Great Again”
If you were wondering where all the money went when you bought the Jeb Bush guacamole bowl, The Des Moines Register has answers. Donald Trump has spent nearly $600,000 manufacturing his “Make America Great Again” hats in the great state of Louisiana. The Marco Rubio campaign has dropped more than $6,000 on Uber rides. Lindsey Graham spent $29 on a subscription to The Des Moines Register (an attempt to gain favorable coverage? Sorry, Gannett journalists can’t be bought.) And $351.96 spent at Guitar Center in West Des Moines? Not Martin O’Malley, but Ben Carson.
And the guy with the biggest stack of cash? Still Jeb Bush. (Or, at least, his supporters.) Jeb partisans got bored building money forts in their super PAC office and have spent some of it on producing and airing a 15-minute documentary to air on New England Sports Network. So if you fall asleep during the Celtics postgame show and you wake up with an overwhelming urge to vote for Jeb, you’ll know why.
More from the campaign trail:
Christie wants to be Iowans’ old, reliable truck … the one they really wanted to buy four years ago when it wasn’t for sale, but now that it’s available there are seven other trucks they want more (The Des Moines Register)
New pro-Fiorina ad stresses her lack of political experience. Meanwhile, the FTR crew is applying to be astronauts and stressing that we don’t even know how to fly airplanes (Paste BN OnPolitics)
Ah, memories...
During Obama’s speech last night, Trump demanded to know what sports heroes are Muslim. Upworthy’s Parker Molloy had to remind him of all the times he met Muhammad Ali.