For the Record: Schrodinger's ticket — Trump-Ryan 2016

Nobody believes Paul Ryan when he says he's not interested in running for anything. At the same time, everyone believes it when a candidate says they're not interested in being Trump's vice president. Let's see if we can make the political punditry universe collapse in on itself. Trump-Ryan 2016: Make America Confident Again.

It's all the media's fault, really ... in an off week, we have nothing to talk about but speculation. Thank goodness the Democratic debate is almost here, or we'd start up another round of Al Gore rumors to pass the time.

Paul Ryan: Seriously, I'm not running. Everyone: LOL see you on the convention floor

Is 2012 VP candidate and current Speaker of the House Paul Ryan about to throw his hat in the ring for the nomination at a contested GOP convention? "I do not want nor will I accept the nomination for our party," Ryan said at a news conference at Republican National Committee headquarters yesterday.

So ... probably?

This isn't the first time he's had to deny that he's interested in the Oval Office. On the other hand, this also isn't the first time he's denied interest in a job that he eventually wound up with. The Twitterverse wasn't convinced yesterday that this latest denial is really THE denial, or just another in a string of denials that they've chosen to ignore. On the other hand (as we mentioned yesterday), Ryan did post a video to YouTube, complete with logo and hashtag (#ConfidentAmerica) that doesn't seem to serve any purpose unless he were running for president. And he just got back from a very presidential trip to Israel Oh, and a rumor reported by a Trump-aligned media outlet says that he's secretly meeting with donors in Manhattan next week.

Still, poor Paul Ryan is starting to remind us of Monty Python's Brian Cohen (slightly NSFW). Next week we expect him to call a press conference and say, "All right, I AM running for president! Now #@*& off!"

Beer and Gum 2016

Speaking of higher office denials ... in a wide-ranging interview last week with Paste BN's Kirsten Powers, Donald Trump talked about possible running mates. "There are people I like, but I don’t think they like me because I have hit them hard,” he said, simultaneously describing literally everyone he has ever interacted with. But he did mention three by name: John Kasich, Scott Walker and Marco Rubio.

Kasich told CBS This Morning that there was "no chance." Walker told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that he laughed when he heard his name, but didn't exactly dismiss the idea — or the idea that he'd share a ticket with Ted Cruz, for that matter. Rubio hasn't said anything recently, but did rule out a VP run — for Trump or anyone else — nearly a month ago.

A few names he didn't mention in the brief rundown: opponents-turned-endorsers Chris Christie and Ben Carson and 2008 VP candidate Sarah Palin. But face it: With the possible exceptions of those three, pairing anyone with Trump right now sounds about as compatible as toothpaste and orange juice.

Politics ruining a fun trip to Cleveland

In most election years, the winning candidate is a foregone conclusion going into the convention, so it's basically a free trip to the convention city for thousands of political foot soldiers. So more often than not, delegate selection is kind of an afterthought ... but not this year for the GOP. Twenty-one states have no laws requiring state delegates to vote for the candidate they were sent to vote for, and most of the remaining 29 (plus D.C.) allow their delegates to vote for whomever they'd like if there's no winner on the first ballot of the convention. Thus the mad dash for both Trump and Cruz to make sure the delegates heading to Cleveland will continue to vote for them on Ballot Two through Ballot Infinity. After Cruz wrapped up every Colorado delegate, Trump has managed to pick up Alabama's full slate; Indiana is investigating threats from Trump supporters against its delegates while both sides are accusing each other of dirty tricks.

We're sure in any typical year, this is just a weeklong party-funded boozefest road trip for a bunch of county commissioners. Sorry, guys!

More from the campaign trail

• SoCal peeps: Join Paste BN and The Desert Sun next week to drink beer, talk climate change (Paste BN One Nation)
• Clinton, de Blasio joke tinged more with racism than comedy (Paste BN)
• More than 50% of Americans say no remaining candidate comes close to representing their views (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)
• Meet the poor woman who has had to change her hairstyle every time Hillary did for the last two decades (The Desert Sun)

Our Spanish is rusty, but we gather that he doesn't like Trump

Bernie Sanders got a ice cream flavor named after him. A Nevada senator got a strain of medical marijuana named after him.  Now, a restaurant in Cuauhtemoc, Mexico has named a taco after Donald Trump, which contains "little brain, a lot of tongue and pig snout."